We had a lot of fun last night. I have a feeling these two could end up being really good friends, and there is definitely chemistry. Gen X dudes just do it for me. And let’s not forget J: she’s a sexy, sexy bitch. Unf.
And now we will take a much needed break. We hit Project Ho hard. It has been a lot of fun, but also kind of exhausting. Don’t worry…we plan on resuming our activities after I’m all healed. In fact, there are already tentative plans.
This time next week I’ll be in surgery. I can’t wait to have my new boobs. D and I are both very excited. I’m a bit worried about my tattoos, but I can always redo them. I’m thinking maybe hearts this time. I’m going to buy some pasties and experiment. If I can’t have my nipples back, I might as well have fun with it, right?
I got a letter from BJC today. Apparently my implants have been recalled because they can cause some super rare lymphoma. I’ve been urged to make an appointment asap.
Cancer: the gift that keeps on giving.
You get breast cancer so they cut your tits off and give you new ones that don’t look as good. Okay fine. But then these fake tits hurt all the time, like constant discomfort, and sometimes it’s significant fucking knock me on my ass sort of pain. That’s just fucking rude.
My tits hurt right now in case you didn’t pick up on that.
Can’t stop thinking about KC. I sent her a text early this morning to let her know she’s on my mind. I wish I could do more.
The nerve pain from my bilateral mastectomy is flaring up today, so that’s fun.
The classic symptoms of PMPS are pain and tingling in the chest wall, armpit, and/or arm. Pain may also be felt in the shoulder or surgical scar. Other common complaints include: numbness, shooting or pricking pain, or unbearable itching
That pretty much sums it up.
I guess I should take some pain meds, though they honestly don’t do much with this type of pain…even the narcotics. I mostly just have to grin and bear it.
The baby was nomming all over my chest this evening trying to find a nipple. I was like, “You’re not going to find what you’re looking for here, sweet baby.”
When I get fake mad at D, I like to tell him that I’m going to pinch his nipples, because I know he can’t get me back. He always exclaims, “No fair!”
I don’t really miss my nipples that much, tbh.
I totally forgot that yesterday was the three year anniversary of my bilateral mastectomy until Timehop reminded me. It’s strange to remember now how overwhelming it all felt back then, how I felt forever changed, and like my life would never be the same. And…I guess it’s really not the same, but somehow it is even better. I am better. Back in 2012, I certainly never thought a day would go by where I would forget to worry about it. I remember reading that as time passes, cancer feels less like a book and more like a chapter. That is becoming truer for me with each passing day.
Life goes on. There is laughter, happiness, life, and love, even after something so tragic. You just have to grab it.