down the rabbit hole

This song came on earlier and it reminded me of a conversation D and I had back when we started talking seriously about moving in together. We were both on the same page; that being that there is no way in hell we will put these kids through another divorce, so we needed to be certain that blending our families was something we wanted to do.

I won’t say that it wasn’t without its rough patches, but it really wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. We have been incredibly fortunate with how well our little blended family works. We are a happy, well adjusted family.  I am forever grateful.

This song makes me sad, though. Whenever I hear it, I inevitably think about my own childhood. I used to desperately hope and pray that my parents would get a divorce, because our home life was miserable and awful.

Oh and this song seemed to play a lot during my divorce. It’s one of those songs I never noticed until it was relevant to my situation and then it was EVERYWHERE.

Some stuff has happened recently that’s had me thinking about the influence step-parents have on their step-children. We can’t ever really know in what ways we’ve impacted the development of our children’s personalities (nature vs nurture and all that), but I can see the positive impact D has had on Jackson, and I’m grateful for it. It’s an influence that would have otherwise been lacking in his life, and I believe he’s better for having it. I can only hope I’m making a similar positive impact in Freya’s life.

I also wonder how the other parents view these relationships. Is it difficult for them? Also what impact will their potential future spouses/partners have on the kids? How will D and I feel about that? I have yet to be jealous of Jackson’s interactions with my ex’s gf but will that change if things get more serious between them?

Development is such an interesting topic. I love watching these kids grow up and transition into mini adults.

**this post brought to you by hour three of insomnia.

saturday in the smokies

Today was a very chill day. The original plan was to hike the Appalachian Trail, but my lymphedema wasn’t really permitting that today. I hate that I forgot my compression sleeve. We have already discussed a trip just to hike the Appalachian Trail, however, so it’s all good, just a bit disappointing. Instead, we hung around the cabin. Went for a swim. Soaked in the hot tub. Enjoyed dinner out on the deck. Watched for the bears, but they didn’t visit today. After yesterday’s encounter, that’s probably for the best. I know Biz was relieved.

I can’t believe it’s already our last night. We head home early tomorrow morning. I’m really going to miss this place. It kind of feels like a second home now. We had a fantastic time. 💜

I adore our little family. I feel extremely lucky, and very loved.