How do you feel about school? What were your favorite subjects as a kid?
I think it goes without saying that I believe education to be of the utmost importance. So many issues in our society could be fixed by ensuring that everyone is given a proper educational foundation.
I have a law degree, so I went to school for a long time. For the most part, I loved being in school. I love learning. I graduated high school with honors. I went on to university and received a BA in English. I then went to law school where I received my Juris Doctorate. I’ve considered doing an online program for an LLM in tax, but I just don’t have the time.
As a kid, my favorite subject by far was english/language arts. I have always excelled in that area. I also enjoyed geography and history. I was never a huge math and science fan, though I did like chemistry a lot more than the other sciences.
When do you feel the most loved?
My husband has provided me with a safe space to be exactly who I am. He takes the good and the bad, and just keeps loving me regardless. This is the first time I have felt truly safe, valued, and free to be myself. It’s an incredible feeling, and I am thankful every day to call him mine.
GPOYW aka Gratuitous Picture of Yourself Wednesday
This is how I feel about today.
Today can suck it.
What’s your dream? How has it changed over the years?
My dreams/goals (whatever you want to call them) used to be very specific: I wanted to find love. I wanted to be a successful lawyer. I wanted to go here, there, everywhere. You get the idea.
Nowadays, my dream is simple: I want time. I want to grow old with my husband and see where this journey takes us. I want to see my kids grow up and see who they become. I want to meet their kids, if they decide to have them. I want to meet whoever they decide to spend their lives with. Yes, I want to travel and experience new things, but more importantly I just want to be around for whatever happens.
Being diagnosed with cancer at 33 changed the way I think about my future. It’s not about the little details so much anymore. I just want to have a future that I get to spend with the people I love most. That doesn’t mean that I’m not working toward a variety of goals, but it does mean that for me, in a big way, it really is more about the destination than the journey. My dream is to live to be a little old lady. I want to sit next to my husband, and watch our grandchildren open Christmas presents. I want that very, very much.
Next year I’ll be 40. There was a time when I wasn’t so sure I’d make it this far. I’m so grateful for the time I’ve had, but I hope I get a lot more.
What gives you confidence?
Having experienced enough shit to know that almost everyone else is just as insecure and anxious as I am.
We’re all just faking it till we make it.
Nothing is fucked. We’re gonna be okay.
Favorite trip you’ve ever taken.
This was hard, because I’ve been on some fantastic vacations, but I’ve gotta throw down with the Iceland trip. It’s something I had wanted to do for a very long time, and I was not only lucky enough to make it happen, but I experienced it with the love of my life. It was truly magical. We climbed mountains, walked on glaciers, and saw the Aurora Borealis.
Where did you grow up? How often have you moved? Where do you live now?
I grew up in Ferguson, Missouri. In the not so great part.
Places I’ve lived in order:
Ferguson, Columbia, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Columbia, Saint Louis, O’Fallon.
I live in the suburbs now, about 40 minutes from the city. I love it out here. It helps that I work in the city so I’m getting the best of both worlds. I used to think I’d want to move back to the city when the kids are grown, but now I’m not too sure. I want my own pool and I want space for dogs. And maybe some chickens.
Fr(eye)day: A photo of your eyes.
My eyes have always gotten me a lot of attention. D calls them my Disney princess eyes.
The story behind your first and middle names.
My name is Jennifer Rose.
My mom named me after a character on Days of Our Lives. I was almost Amanda. I can’t really imagine being Amanda. I’m such a Jennifer.
The story behind your blog name.
I have two blogs, but I’m only going to discuss this one here. I don’t need anymore people knowing about the other one than already do. I’m actually considering going back to it because there are better privacy settings. Decisions, decisions.
(Actually…I have four blogs if you count the porn blog and the totally anonymous one nobody else knows about. It hasn’t been used in a long time though.)
Anyway…It’s Only Make Believe is a song by Conway Twitty that I loved as a kid. Fiona Apple covered it during her 2012 tour and I fell in love with it all over again.
Truthful Tuesday –
My favorite thing about my New York Times app subscription is the daily mini crossword.
I love my kids very much, but holy fuck I’m looking forward to a night alone with the husband tonight.
I love my cat very much, but I love my dog more, because he obviously loves me more, and I’m addicted to feeling loved.
The week in the cabin has me obsessed with the idea of upgrading from a queen to a king sized bed. My insomnia often has me tossing and turning most of the night, and I enjoyed how much more room I had to do so.
I give the impression that I have my life together, but I am, in fact, a bit of a mess. I need to be more organized and on top of shit. In fact, I really need to take a mini staycation to just organize my life.
The first half of this year was really kind of terrible for me, but I feel like I’m about to put all that behind me now. At the same time, I’m worried that if I think everything is about to get better, it will actually get worse.
My self-esteem is in the toilet. Every day some weird little thing happens that reminds me that I’m getting older, and while I’m grateful for the privilege, I’m also not ready to be invisible in the way that so many older women seem to be. I probably never will be. This has been particularly difficult to deal with recently due to my hysterectomy and oophorectomy.
On the flip side, the beauty of getting older is that I find myself giving way fewer fucks about so many things that used to cause a lot of anxiety. It is very liberating to see how so much of what people say and do is just utter fucking nonsense that I don’t need to concern myself with any longer.
What’s your heritage? Where are your ancestors from? How far back to do know your family’s history?
My mom used to tell me that her dad always said, “We’re Irish and Dutch and not worth very much.” It always made me giggle.
On my bio dad’s side, we’re basically straight up Irish.
I’ve been meaning to do the 23 and Me DNA testing. I want to get one for both me and D. I think it would be fun to do together.