my favorite color

My favorite color is pink. Always has been. Always will be. From the palest of pastel to the hottest, most outrageous shades. I. Love. Pink. I love pink so much that I have pink business cards, for fuck’s sake. I’ve been known to write up client fee agreements with pink ink. It’s my thing.

Other favorites include: purple, black, grey, blue, and emerald green. These colors make up most of my wardrobe.

Colors I dislike: brown and orange.

I almost put yellow on the dislike list, but, in reality, I love the color yellow if we’re talking about flowers and nature and shit. If we’re talking about clothing: nope. Yellow just isn’t a flattering color for most people, unless they have dark skin. In my experience, fair skinned people who think they look good in yellow are usually wrong. But, I mean, do you, obvi. Oh and mustard/dark yellow…gtfo with that ugly shit.

You can file that last paragraph under “Weird shit that Jenn rants about.”

a sexy memory

This was yesterday’s prompt.

It’s hard to pick just one. D and I talked about it last night, and we reminisced about some hot times we’ve had together.

I’ve decided against actually sharing any details here, however, which I know is unusual for me, but for some reason I just don’t feel like sharing that stuff right now. I want to keep it for just us.

 

Happy Hanukkah

Today’s prompt brings back a lot of memories for me. I was in a relationship with my ex for 15 years, and since he was Jewish, we celebrated Hanukkah.

In fact, his family was very vocal about how much they wanted me to convert to Judaism. I was no longer a relgiious person at that point, though I still considered myself agnostic instead of an atheist. So I agreed to convert.

I went through weeks of conversion classes. I met one on one with the Rabbi for several counseling sessions. I took and passed a Jewish history test. Choosing a Jewish Life by Anita Diamant became my trusted guide. I was a few days away from my mikveh, the ritual purification bath, and the last step in my conversion, when G said to me: I don’t want you to do this. And just like that, the entire thing fell apart. I wasn’t necessarily sad to not finish the conversion, but I was pissed as hell that he allowed me to go through all of that work before finally revealing his misgivings. At the time, it didn’t feel worth fighting with him over it, but I do kind of wish now that I had gone against his wishes and finished the conversion. Because not everything needed to be about him all the damn time, you know? Any feelings I had about it were simply brushed aside. This was a theme in our marriage. I’m embarrassed I allowed that nonsense for as long as I did, but that’s a story for another time.

So I didn’t convert after all, but we did continue to celebrate Hanukkah. Once Jackson was born, it became a lot more fun. Here are a few pics from his second Hanukkah, but the first where he was old enough to actually participate.

Happy Hanukkah to those of you who celebrate!

the perfect meal

A thick cut ribeye, extra fatty, cooked medium rare.

A loaded baked potato (hold the butter).

Brussel sprouts with bacon.

A glass bottle of cabernet.

Enjoyed with my favorite dinner date. He makes this meal so perfectly at this point that I rarely order steak when we go out to dinner. What’s the point when I eat so much better at home?

Endings

When I read this blog prompt, that lyric from Closing Time popped into my head:

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

So profound, Semisonic. Ha.

I have two memories related to that song.

  1. Back in 1998, I was a freshman at Mizzou, and I worked as a banquet server at the University Club. That song played so often as we were cleaning up at the end of the night. It felt like our theme song. I’m instantly transported to those memories whenever I hear that song.
  2. D singing this song with his band and smiling at me when he sang, “I know who I want to take me home.” ❤️

blog-tober catch up

How do you sleep? (How many pillows, do you have a set sleeping schedule, etc..)

Not well. I’ve always suffered from insomnia, but it has gotten worse with menopause. I feel like I’m awake all the time. I have terrible night sweats now. Ugh.

D and I currently sleep in a queen sized platform bed. The mattress is insanely comfortable. It’s soft, but not so soft that it gets those body dents in it. I hate those! We each have two pillows. We also have a very dense comforter. It’s so heavy that it almost feels like one of those weighted blankets. Oh and I sleep with two fans: the ceiling fan and a small bedside fan. I hate being hot while I sleep.

As far as a sleep schedule goes, I’m usually falling asleep between 11 pm and 12:30 am. I get out of bed between 6 am and 7:30 am depending upon the day of the week. I wake up about a hundred times in between.

If someone asked you right now for a show suggestion to binge watch, what would you say?

I’d give a short list of options: Ozark, Better Call Saul, Game of Thrones.

Flattery Friday: send love (in a post or via inbox) to your fellow tumblrs.

This prompt will be posted over on Tumblr shortly.

Secrets

I don’t have many of them, honestly. I’m a bit of an open book, though there is definitely stuff I keep off the blog. Mostly my feelings about the people who may be reading it. Haha. But I wouldn’t necessarily call those secrets. I’m pretty open about all that stuff with my IRL people. There’s a difference between discretion and secrecy.

I do have something that happened last night that I want to write about here, but I’m going to wait, and maybe I won’t write about it at all. At least not publicly. I’m still trying to figure out how to handle this particular situation. To be clear, this is a good thing, and I’m happy about it, but it’s also a tiny bit complicated because someone else’s feelings are involved. Someone with whom I already have a strained relationship.

So I guess I do kind of have a secret after all.

What is your favorite month out of the year? Do you have a favorite day of the week? Time of day?

October is by far my favorite month. The weather. The changing leaves. Halloween. And now it’s my wedding anniversary month. ❤️

My favorite day is Saturday. It’s the perfect day. It’s the only day where I typically have zero anxiety. 💙

My favorite time of day is night time, particularly bed time. I love my bed and all bed related activities. 😘

How was your day?

I had a mostly chill day. It was good. The highlights:

  • Reading. I’m really into my current pick.
  • Watching Frey try to teach Jack how to ride his bike without training wheels.
  • Listening to them play together upstairs. Right now they’re at these perfect ages where they have common interests and still do imaginative play. I know it won’t last forever, so I like listening in on their little play adventures. I love how much they have grown into their relationship as step siblings. It has been one of those unexpected delights in life. ❤️ ❤️
  • D and I snuck away for a quick beer at our local place.
  • The fire table is a delight.
  • Our family walk. One of my favorite things.
  • Motherfucking Ozark, man.