I need to step up my gameĀ 

I need to read thirty more books this year to reach my goal.


I really enjoyed The Hypnotist’s Love Story. I related to it in a lot of ways. It’s interesting just how much previous relationships really do impact current ones, and also the weird secret shame that comes along with it: the feelings and comparisons and curiosity. I think this age of social media has made it so much harder for people to move on from failed relationships. Anyway…recommended.

I’m currently about halfway through reading an unpublished book written by a friend. I’d be finished by now if I could figure out how to get it on my kindle instead of my iPad. I hate reading on the iPad. 

Off to search for my next read! 

book appreciation

It turns out that leaving my Kindle at the office wasn’t so bad after all. It got me to finally grab this off my bookshelf, and so far it’s much better than the other book I have been reading. I should have known. I’ve always enjoyed this author. There’s also some interesting dialogue regarding bringing past relationship stuff (including dealing with exes) into a new relationship, to which I’m relating.

A book I love and why

This is a hard one. I read a lot, and I love so many books. So I’m going to limit this to a book I read and loved this year.

And the winner is…

Lincoln in the Bardo
by George Saunders

Why?

  • Innovative story telling. One of the most unique books I’ve ever read.
  • Incredibly moving and insightful: dealing with issues of death, mourning, and the after life.
  • The prose reads more like poetry at times.
  • Historical fiction: one of my favorite genres.
  • I couldn’t put it down.

Highly recommended.

relevant

So I’m still reading I Am That Girl and this current chapter very much speaks to an experience I myself have had: loss of self in a relationship.

When I was with my ex, I changed so much of myself to be the person I thought he wanted me to be and/or that I needed to be to make the relationship work. I realized to some extent that it was happening, but I thought that was simply what being in a relationship was all about. It wasn’t until after our split that I realized just how much of myself I had pushed aside to be a part of a couple. I gave up so many things: personal style, decorating style, hobbies, friends. I watched shows and movies I didn’t care about. I stopped watching shows and movies I did care about. I had to listen to his music all the time. I had to do what he wanted. He didn’t like to go out, so we didn’t go out. All these little things added up over time, and in the end all of those little paper cuts were the death of our relationship.

It has been a little over five years since we split up, and I am so pleased with the person I have become. It felt like a rebirth. I’m free to be me…finally, and I’ve realized that being just Jenn is pretty fucking awesome; that people love me for who I am. I regained myself, and by doing so I am a much better partner to D than I would have been otherwise. He doesn’t want someone who bends to his every whim. That’s boring as shit! He loves me for who I am. He takes the good with the bad. I feel incredibly lucky to have found someone who loves me for the unique person that I am…the non-filtered Jenn.

Don’t change yourself to be what you think someone else wants you to be. Be true to yourself, love yourself, and this will not only make you a happier person, but also a better partner.

xoxo