Happy Anniversary List

  • I’ve been awake since around 4:30 am. I am done.
  • It’s 10:04 pm now.
  • It has been a fucking Monday.
  • Already dreaming of the weekend.
  • It’s Halloween party weekend!! ❤️
  • More people are finding out about The Situation. It has been interesting…the reactions.
  • We are watching The Tudors, and D and I have decided that, in our situation, I’m “the scandal of Christendom.”
  • His parents do refer to me as “the floozy” after all.
  • That makes me giggle.

The bullets stopped working because WordPress is fucking stupid. Eat me.

I took a break, and now I’m back. It’s 10:21 pm now.

I just took a big old hit. That’s the #1 perk of being self employed: no random drug testing.

I think of it as a Xanax + Ambien combo.

Oh!! Bismarck, aka the most beautiful boy ever, has been chosen to be one of the “12 Dogs of Christmas” at his daycare. I have to take him to a photo shoot on 11/10. My boy is a model!!

It’s 10:42 now (another break). I feel so relaxed right now. We’re currently discussing our wedding vows. Prior, we talked about which friends we want to fuck. That’s always a fun one.

Okay 10:52 here now. I need to go. Oh but I may post some pics.

Anniversary Pic 2019.

Lolkay so…

Tonight we got drunk with Nick and Nancy on the rooftop of our neighborhood pub (so now I can’t stop singing Rooftop by DMB), and Nancy told me something interesting.

Apparently, her friend, Jen, who I’ve hung with a few times, is friends with my ex-husband’s gf. My ex and his gf have been dating for like 3+ years. So apparently Abby (my ex’s gf), saw that I was Facebook friends with Jen, and asked her for the scoop on me.

Jen doesn’t know me well, so I’m sure that wasn’t very informative. Still, it was interesting to hear about. Especially since the only thing Abby seems to know is that I cheated on G. (How convenient that he didn’t choose to tell her the entire story…you know, the one where he and K aren’t saints… Not many people know that story). Anyway, Abby and I have only interacted like two or three times ever, so I’m not surprised she’s curious about me. I would be, too, under the circumstances.

Lol. This is so gossipy. 😆

Btw, she should break up with him. She’s only 29 (don’t get me started) so she has time to turn shit around. lol lol lol

Sorry, not sorry.

In my defense, I’m drunk high and chatty.

You’re welcome!

Oh hi, bitch

Do you ever see a pic of someone and think: ugh I banged that motherfucker? Just me? Ugggghhhhh.

I’m two hefty tequila shots, one IPA, one Bud Light, and 1 1/2 Corona Extras into my evening. The goal: getting drunk tonight, bro.

We ran/walked the husky a little over a mile. I made them race me a couple of times. They won, but it was a challenge, and that’s a win as far as I’m concerned.

Freya came by tonight to grab something. Her mom was all like:

…when I said hi, which is pretty typical, tbh. It’s either “omgggggggg hi!” or Daenerys meme face. There is no in between. I suppose I understand this. It makes me lol though. I’m way past being sorry about it. The only reason it’s remarkable is because I’m still not used to people hating me this much. Lol.

Not gonna lie…a part of me enjoys being hated this much. Living well is the best revenge.

My business partner got all pissy today because we didn’t let him go all old white guy blowhard on our three new 19-year-old female minor in possession clients. Trust me, it was for the best. We are several thousand dollars richer because of it.

But he also told me that, while at court yesterday, a bunch of the male bk attorneys were like “we like you, but we like jenn better because she is hot af,” and I’m like: yes, bitch.

Listen…I’m 40 and imma take what I can get compliment wise, okay? OK!

I’m drunk. For sure.

I DON’T EVEN GIVE A FUCK, BRO

Btw…I think I was wrong about my friendship tanking. I got more inside info, and it seems that it’s a weird jealous gf situation, which makes me lol. For reasons. Anyway, I think it’s fixable. And that makes me happy.

It’s only Tuesday. How even?????

Alrighty, I’m going to go fuck the shit out of my husband now. Because it’s Tuesday night, baby, and I’m alive.

Love you bye.

“…some other musical stuff.”

I’m drunk high and feeling fine.

Yes.

**deleted mean comment** It was funny tho. Don’t ask me what it was, because I’m not going to remember.

I’m actually really sad that we didn’t get that dick lighter when we were in Key West. We got the grenade lighter instead, and it’s cool, but that dick lighter was legit.

During dinner, D and I heatedly debated whether we should get chickens. Angela has some she was going to give me (the cutest baby chicks omg), but D was like omg no, and shit all over my super duper joyful chicken-keeping daydreams, and now we shall have no chickens. He did offer up another cat as a consolation prize. I’m gonna put it in my back pocket and give it some more thought.

Probably none of this even makes sense to anyone else.

I ordered my personalized license plate tonight, and I am crazy excited. I’m about to pimp out my generic black SUV and make it Jenn-motherfucking-riffic.

I spent my late afternoon with Annie and Meredith. Meredith does our hair, and is Annie’s sorority sister from back in the day. She’s very cool and is a kick ass stylist. Anyhoo…she was coloring Annie’s hair while I waited, and Annie was going to tell us some juicy gossip about her husband’s baby mama drama, and I was like, “Spill the tea, sis,” and Meredith did a spit take, because she has a daughter too, so she got it. Annie was like lol wtf.

Speaking of hair – I’m in the process of going red! We added a bunch of red undertones tonight, but you can only see them in the sunlight. Next time we are going to highlight it (omg bleach on my black hair!) and then add in burgandy. Over time I should become a red head. The good news is that, if I hate it, it won’t be difficult to go back to black.

My throat hurts like a motherfucker. I’m like 90% sure it’s just allergies, but I don’t know for sure. I’m too lazy to do anything about it but complain so…

We set up a law firm fun day today! We’re doing a half day arcade & booze day in October, and I can’t wait. It has been too long.

I don’t have to go into the office tomorrow. I have medical appointments instead. I did bring several cases home with me, however, so hopefully I’ll have time to get into some of that. I won’t lie though: I kind just want to keep on keepin on with my SATC marathon. I think I’m almost done with season 2.

My oncology appointment isn’t until like 1 pm, so I get to sleep in tomorrow and that is sweet af.

We’re watching Sunny right now, and it reminds me that D and the kids say that I’m the Dennis, and fuck…they’re right.

I’m in the mood to do some drunk shopping so I gotta gtfo.

AND YES.

lol lol lol

STOP

 

#laterblog & also #drunkblog

I wrote this last night while I was drunk-high and forgot to post it. Just ran across it, and it made me laugh. You’re welcome. 🤣

I want to fuck this couple that my very good friends absolutely hate, like so much so that I worry it will cause a problem, so I have to make a choice, and I choose our friendship obvi. But it sucks because I want to fuck this other couple, particularly the female – which is sorta new to me – my first real life female crush! I mean, I’ve had sex with women before, but I’ve never actively pursued one. Her husband is…fine. Basically, I’d take a pounding from him to get to her. These are the things I can say now that my family (hopefully) doesn’t read this anymore. Lol lol lol