burning bridges

Pretty sure my cousin is smoking meth while arguing with me on Facebook. Nothing she says makes any sense.

Honestly, my favorite part was when she told me I could call her so we could discuss it further on the phone. Bitch, please. I don’t call people unless they pay me.

PS: I have a big post planned for later today. I even took notes! But for now…sleep.

heading home

Our little Bloomington adventure went much better than we were expecting. I’m thinking we’re all getting used to the new dynamic, and feeling more comfortable. There was no awkwardness. We actually just had fun.

After dinner we opened presents, and then the adults watched Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, which D and I had never seen. It was fucking crazy, but we liked it.

We went to bed around 1:30 but stayed up talking until around 2:30. Then I was up at 7. I’m going to need a nap later.

We survived

My mom stayed the night last night, but she just left, so I can now say that we have officially survived the extended family portion of Christmas. It was…a lot. Ultimately, however, I’m glad we got to see so many people, and work on rebuilding relationships. Our kids have obviously been craving these connections, so I’ll do my part to give them the family structure they crave. Not gonna lie though, it’s not really my cup of tea; two days in a row like that was particularly strenuous.

So now what? It’s Christmas Eve. Yay! Freya is already with her mom for the day. Jackson will be going to his dad’s house this afternoon. Dave and I will spend the evening gloriously alone, and we will pick the kids up bright and early tomorrow morning.

I’m excited to dig into a few of our Christmas Eve traditions, and maybe add some new things into the mix, but first I’m going to cuddle up on the couch with my Kindle and relax.

Hanging with my family always reminds me of how much of my childhood I have blocked out. They will share memories of things I did or said and I honestly cannot remember a lot of it. Trauma is a bitch like that, I guess.

Christmas #1

With the Riekens.

I didn’t get many pics, because we were just hanging out and chatting all night. It was a good time. The kids had a blast, and are already begging for us to set up the next get-together.

And now we head home to get ready for Christmas #2 with my family.

mama drama

My mom is begging me to come to her house for Thanksgiving this year, and I don’t know how to tell her no. There are a bunch of completely valid reasons why I cannot and will not go to her house for Thanksgiving. I hate knowing it’s going to hurt her feelings. I’ve invited her to my house the last few years, but she’s adamant it be at her place. I have even offered to do all the driving, since she keeps telling me she doesn’t have a car.

A brief list of the reasons why I’m not going:

  • My understanding is that her current boyfriend is manipulative and abusive. She lives with him. He has taken over our conversations before when I call and tries to manipulate me into doing what he wants/doesn’t let her talk, etc. Fuck that. I’m not supporting that situation by going to his house and pretending like I actually like and/or approve of this relationship. Nope.
  • His house is absolutely awful, like derelict, and maybe should be condemned.
  • It’s in the middle of nowhere about two hours from my house.
  • I’d have to board my dog on fucking Thanksgiving because I can’t take him with us.
  • D and I don’t have our kids on Thanksgiving this year, so we’re planning to hang just us two and do our thing. We want to be chill. Nothing about going to my mom’s will be chill.

To be honest, we are just not that close and it feels like a big ask. I know it probably isn’t, but it feels like it to me, and I just don’t want to waste anymore of my time pretending like we are a big happy family when we just aren’t.