flashback friday: drafts edition

I’m going to post some content that has been sitting in the draft folder – in some cases for years. Going back and reading it is kind of interesting. Some shit has changed a lot, and some shit is exactly the same.

{There is a particularly epic post from 2016, in which I rant long and bitterly about D’s ex, and oh how I’d love to post that here, because there is still shit in that post that I’m salty about even four years later (lol), but I’m going to be good. I know…I’m such a tease! Ask me when I’m drunk!}

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Danielle called these my top 3 introvert traits:

  1. I’d rather die than talk to you on the phone.
  2. I like to cancel plans and just stay home.
  3. I always have weed.

 

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UNPOPULAR OPINION

I like Amy Schumer and I thought The Leather Special was funny. I think a lot of even socially liberal individuals on some level feel uncomfortable with women being raunchy. Personally, I love it. Please do tell me about your pussy all day long. Drop the f bomb repeatedly and with enthusiasm. Challenge stereotypes. We need more edgy and provocative people in the world. I think she’s one, and love her or hate her, but I think she’s important.

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THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

is how I always would have remembered D if I hadn’t snatched him right the fuck up. Good job, past Jenn.

For some reason, that reminds me of the song Misery Business by Paramore.
The prompt for today was supposed to be “the opportunity that got away” but that’s awkward and I don’t like it.

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TOP MEMORIES OF 2015

  1. Seeing the Northern Lights in the Icelandic wilderness.
  2. Climbing a volcano in snow shoes.
  3. Hiking on a glacier.
  4. Mini golf with the kids in Wisconsin Dells
  5. Holding hands with D and dancing during the DMB show.
  6. Feeding flamingoes in Punta Cana.
  7. Dancing with D at Scott’s wedding.
  8. Private cabana day!
  9. Banging in the plunge pool.
  10. James & Nick’s wedding in Hawaii.
  11. Summerland tour
  12. Michigan brewery weekend trip, but especially the trip to Bell’s!
  13. Yoga Buzz at the Science Center.
  14. Wolpertinger.
  15. Schurcipifones.
  16. Impromptu horse drawn carriage ride around downtown with D and the kids.
  17. Halloween costume party

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DEAR YOU

  1. I’m sorry I lost our love.
  2. All I want is for you to like me.
  3. I told you so.
  4. FACE!
  5. Back off, please. I don’t need you to remind me.
  6. It’s not you, it’s me.
  7. It’s not me, it’s you. You suck.
  8. I wish I didn’t care about you.
  9. I wonder what happened to you.
  10. Please stop asking me to go to your meet up group.

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swingers

I’ve been thinking about the swinger lifestyle lately.

Not that I want to do it. Been there, done that. But I was considering how some people go about it, like with the dating and texting and what not. The whole “let’s be friends with benefits” thing. I remember being more or less encouraged to do those things; to treat these other men like boyfriend(s). And, in my opinion, that is a huge mistake. Fucking is one thing. Intimacy is another. Encouraging intimacy with an outsider is a good way to lose your significant other. That’s exactly what happened to my ex. I’m confident he regrets it now.

If you want to swap, have a threesome, foursome, or even a more-some, go on with your bad self. I get it. Long term relationships can be difficult to keep fresh, and humans weren’t really made for monogamy. But be smart about it, ffs. You’ve got to keep some things special. Some things have to be reserved for the one you love.

Basically, my advice boils down to this: hit it and quit it. 

(Clearly if you are poly or whatever this doesn’t apply to you. I’m talking about couples just looking to experiment.)