what a weird life we lead

Just got a Facebook invite to a small party being thrown by a new friend. There are only 13 people on the invite list. The text of the invite says (in part):

We have a few rules but the main thing to note is THIS IS NOT AN ORGY! (Next time, I promise). Wait, I lied… the main thing is consensual touching only. Ask often!

Gotta discuss it with the husband, but I kind of want to go. I’m ready to meet some new people. We met the couple hosting a few weeks back at N’s birthday party, and they were really cool.

First of all, why? Second of all, lol forever.

Our new car loan is through Fifth Third Bank, and they sent us an actual payment booklet. I’ve heard of these, but have never had a bank actually provide one.

This seems really outdated to me. It’s 2019. What even. But it gets better! Because inside they have instructions, and the instructions get really fucking specific.

DO NOT MAIL THE ENTIRE BOOK.

I can’t stop laughing. I know why they have to put this in here, and in all caps even: my clientele is the reason. One-hundy.

不不不不不不不不