what i wore: (finally) friday edition

I decided to give LLR Carly another try. I had one before and I gave it to a friend because I thought it looked like a tent when I put it on. This time around I have it tied in the back to give it a more fitted look. That also helps pull up the back, which (imo) is way too long. Much better this way. Thanks to K for the Carly fashion tips!

I included this second pic to show off my hair. It’s getting long, which is exciting. There was a time I seriously worried I’d never have hair again. Oh the joys of chemo! Anyway, I didn’t straighten my hair today and I kind of like how it’s wavy/flippy in its natural state.

it’s the freaking weekend, baby

On non-custody weekends, I consider the start of my weekend to be Thursday night, which is when the bf and I tend to get a little crazy. One or both of us typically wake up with a hangover on Friday morning. (Today it was his turn, apparently.) We both have stressful jobs, and it’s nice to just let go of all that crap and blow off some steam.  We have a bunch of fun stuff planned this weekend.  Tonight is our fancy date night, and I am excited. I’m planning on getting all dressed up, though I don’t know what I’m going to wear yet (but…expect a pic).

Also, today is hair cut/color day, so that’s fun, and also much needed. My hair is a fright.  I’m considering trying something a little different.  The bf surprised me this morning by telling me that he misses my short hair. I hear that from a lot of people actually. I guess I should take that under advisement, huh?

back to reality: 6

  1. The weather is amazing. It’s 63 degrees right now. I opened all the windows. I’m hopeful the weather is going to stay like this for a while. It was like 100 degrees yesterday when I picked Jackson up from school. Ugh.
  2. I’m still fighting off the cold I caught last week. I went to bed early last night, and slept late, but still woke up feeling blah. This sucks because I want to get back into an exercise routine.  My goal is to start Ripped in 30 this weekend. I feel out of sorts when I don’t exercise. It has become my natural anti-depressant.
  3. I think I’m seeing some progress on the hair front, which obviously makes me very happy. But I think I’m going to cut it pixie short again. I miss that look, and it was so easy to maintain. I have had several people tell me over the last few weeks that they loved that look on me. I’m considering something like this:
  4. I started a fall wardrobe board on pinterest. I need to start accumulating cardigans, boots, tights, leggings, and dresses.  Oh and scarves. You can never have too many scarves. I have a cute one with owls that I’m dying to wear.
  5. I’m crazy excited about fall, which is my favorite season. I have a lot of fun stuff planned, and I’m excited that this will be the first fall since 2011 that isn’t ruined by cancer related surgeries. *knocks on wood*
  6. I was in a reading rut for a while, but last night I got back on track, so I’m happy about that. I’m currently reading two books at once, which I don’t normally do. (#41 & 42, I believe)

goodbye again; see ya later

The current state of my hair is not good. It has gotten so thin that it’s impossible to style properly. You can see scalp no matter how artfully I attempt to arrange it.  Handfuls fall out every day, and so far I haven’t seen much in the way of regrowth. This is obviously quite distressing, and I cannot believe this is happening to me again.  However,  I refuse to get depressed about this. I lived through it once, and I can do it again.  (It helps that I’m in a much better place now, and don’t care as much about such things, but it does still really sucks.)  So I have a wig picked out that I’m probably going to order this week. It’s what my hair would look like right now if it hadn’t started falling out again. I could start wearing my old one, but that seems so obviously fake at this point.  Last time I fooled almost all my acquaintances into thinking that was my actual hair, but nobody is going to believe my hair grew that quickly. Does that matter? Probably not. I guess I have some more thinking to do. (That wig was expensive, is in good shape, and is sitting in my closet. I got compliments on my hair constantly when I wore it. Hmm…)

In the meantime, I think I need to set up an appointment with my stylist to get a pixie cut.  I cannot deal with my hair like this anymore.

I was talking to my boyfriend about it before he left for work this morning and he was basically like: You are hot with or without hair.  Who needs hair with an ass like that?

I love him. ❤

all the good stuff

  • It’s Friday. I have much fun stuff planned for the weekend. QA show. Six Row Vanilla Strawberry beer…fuck yes!!!! Arcade Fire. So much win.
  • I got my hair cut yesterday, and it was finally long enough for the cut I’ve been wanting.  OMFG I was so excited when I left that salon.  I was telling Dave last night that for the last year, whenever I looked in the mirror, all I could see was the cancer patient staring back at me.  My hair always had (imo) that ‘growing it back after chemo’ look to it.  Not anymore. It’s an actual fucking hairstyle. SO. PLEASED.
  • As of Monday, I am down six pounds. I’m like a pound away from my original goal (130), but I’m going to go ahead and lose some more, because that shit wasn’t even hard. I want to see the 120s.
  • My skinny jeans are too big.  This means shopping. Yay for shopping.
  • Every day I’m feeling slightly better than the day before. I rolled over this morning to look at Dave, and I was like ‘oh hey, I’m on my side!’ That was not possible even two days ago.

one step forward and back two

  • I finished True Blood. I was really into season 6 until the last two episodes, and then I was like…fucking really? So disappointing. 
  • But HBO GO is a fucking win.  Watching HBO on my Macbook Air while sitting in bed? Yes, please.
  • You know what else is a win? The Martian by Andy Weir. I’m about halfway through and I’m really enjoying it.  It’s one of those books that makes you want to bail on real life to sit around and read all day. 
  • I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow and I’m excited.  I’m about two weeks overdue.  I have a pic of a style I like. I think I’m going to cut the back a lot shorter while I wait for the top and sides to grow out. I can’t deal with how it is right now. People say they like it, but I don’t. It’s so boring. I will be kind of sad to see the cute little ponytail go, but it will be back.
  • I had a lunch date with my boyfriend today.  This is turning into a Wednesday thing, and I like it.
  • I haven’t eaten any of the Girl Scout cookies in three days. I shall defeat these evil fucking things. 
  • I’m so tired. DST has me all fucked up. It’s hard to fall asleep at a decent hour and it’s even harder to wake up in the morning. 
  • And since it’s Wednesday, here’s a pic of my tired looking face.

it feels like a monday

  • My hair looks fucking nuts today.  It won’t lay flat. I’ve given up on being cute today. Will try again tomorrow…maybe.
  • My colleague just gave me a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. It’s 11:40 am. Is it too early to start drinking?
  • Being in the office today is blah. I have zero motivation.  It was nice to go to Stl co court this morning and have it be absolutely dead though. No traffic, and parking was a breeze.
  • My son asked me this morning (for the second time) if we can move closer to his dad.  So…I guess I’m moving to Chesterfield this summer.  I was planning on moving to Chesterfield when Jax starts Kindergarten anyway, so I guess it’s not a big deal.  All of the driving is killing me anyway.  Plus, my boyfriend will be happy.
  • The law office is getting painted this week to go with the new carpet. I’m excited. My pink office is getting a makeover, and will soon be blue. Pink clashes horribly with our new carpet.
  • My health insurance is official! I’m so relieved that I no longer have to worry about it.
  • All other thoughts have left my head. Oh well.

around my head

I gave the blog a wintery theme. It’s good to change it up now and again. After all, winter is coming.

Jax is growing up way too fast. I ordered him a “big boy” bed this morning.  It will be delivered tomorrow. We went out tonight and bought new bedding.  He picked a Justice League set, of course.

My hair is in a weird place and I kind of hate it. I’m grateful to have any hair, of course, but growing out short hair is a major pain. My Chi flat iron has been rescued from retirement. (Btw, I bought my Chi for $200 in 2002 and IT STILL WORKS PERFECTLY. That’s with almost daily use; with the exception of the last year, of course.)

I made my (not so very) glorious return to the gym on Thursday. My plastic surgeon finally cleared me for exercise. I decided to take it slow, and so I ran/walked about 2 miles. I plan to start up with my personal trainer again too. I’m signed up for another half-marathon in April, so I’ve gotta get back to it.

My good friend starts rehab next week, and I’m so proud of her. I start crying if I think about it too long.

I’m very much looking forward to Christmas this year. I barely remember last year’s Christmas, because I was still recovering from the mastectomies and then the axillary lymph dissection. This year I get to spend the day with my two favorite people, and I think it’s going to be great. I can’t wait. ❤