I’m this >< close to losing my shit on someone. I keep trying to pick fights with the assholes who deserve my wrath today, but so far they are too smart to take the bait.
It took all the willpower I possess to not stop at the three Dunkin Donuts I passed on the way into the office today. The struggle was fucking real.
Thoughts I’ve had already this morning:
Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck you. And you, too. Especially you. I fucking hate you. I’ve never liked you and I’m tired of pretending like I do.
Imma cut a bitch.
I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, and if you don’t like it then you can choke on a fucking dick, you fucking fuck.
I wish a motherfucker would.
Then I thought to myself, Jenn, why are you in such a bad mood? Then I went to the bathroom and discovered why:
I’m having my first full blown period in four fucking years. It still sucks just as much as I remembered.
Fuuuuuuuuuck. I miss my Mirena.
Pet peeve alert:
A group email goes out with information about an event. In this case, it’s a happy hour for local female bankruptcy attorneys. There are probably about 100 people who received this email. Great. Cool. Whatever.
But then it starts…the people who hit reply all when they RSVP.
I don’t give a fuck if you are planning to go. Fuck…who even are you? I don’t know you. I don’t care. Reply to sender. This is a simple fucking concept. You are attorneys. This shouldn’t be so hard for you.
- People who go back on their word. We had a deal, bitch. Fuck you. This ruins fucking everything.
- Stupid snap chat bullshit.
- Colds/not being able to breathe through my nose.
- That (at least as of last Thursday) they hadn’t started digging the foundation for my house yet. Hurry the fuck up already. I don’t want to have to move twice. Grrr.
- Sloppiness/incompetence. Like why would he even turn in this case to me? Did he not look at it before he handed it in? It’s a total fucking disaster.
- My face/body.
- That the dress I wanted to buy is sold out because I waited too long to decide.
- That the weekend is over.
- That my kid is sick and whiny and I’m snapping at him because I am also sick and whiny.
- How demanding, impatient, and overly dramatic I can be.
- Stress induced hives.
- This piece of shit scale. Why is it four pounds heavier than the other scale? Which one is right? It’s driving me fucking crazy. I need to know which is right!!!!!
- That I even care so much which scale is right.
I’ve gotta get my rant on:
So I pick Jackson up from school this afternoon and he doesn’t have his coat. It’s 35 fucking degrees outside and so I’m obviously like wtf? He explains to me that his dad was running late this morning (*let me mention here that it was already a late start day, which means school didn’t start until fucking 11 am) and told Jackson he didn’t have time to go back for it. Despite the fact that he lives fucking five minutes from the school and has no place to be because he has no job. Then I’m like, so what did you do during recess? And Jackson explains that his teacher had him wear a coat from the lost and found, which I’m obviously grateful for because it was cold and all, but still…ugh. Now we look like incompetent asshole parents and I am fucking pissed. I would never have allowed this.
Maybe I’m overreacting…I don’t know. I’m pissed though.
I call him and I’m like yeah I need to come by to get the coat. He acted all put out by this and sounded as though I had woken him up. It was 4:15 pm, btw. Anyway, I go get it and he’s completely unapologetic about it. I wanted to talk shit, but I won’t get into it with him in front of our kid because I’m not trash.
On the way home, I had to stop at the drug store because we needed children’s Advil, and Jackson jumped out of the car without his coat on (he had been buckled in when his dad threw it in the car, so he didn’t put it on then). I reached back into the car to grab it and hit my head so very hard against the top of the door. So hard. I saw black spots. I got dizzy. My vision blurred. I became nauseous and felt a stabbing pain behind my eye. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
So I’m pretty sure I have a mild concussion. I’m home now. Still hurts. I’m grumpy as fuck and I have decided to blame it all on my ex.
your ex is telling you all this random shit you don’t care about and you just want to say, “Yeah I don’t give a fuck what you’re doing. That’s why I divorced you.”
Lawyer aka professional fucking janitor.
I’m okay with cleaning up the messes of paying clients. But everyone else…grrr. Colleagues who should fucking know better…DOUBLE GRRR.
I’m rage-y today.
I’m tired of hearing about the fucking moon.
- I woke up this morning and was almost instantly annoyed because it’s so fucking cold. I went outside and it was snowing. Just flurries, but still. I hate cold weather so much. There are maybe six weeks out of every year where I’m actually happy with the weather. I should move back to Southern California.
- I am mostly moved into my new office. It’s huge, and it feels empty. I think I need to put a couch in there. Something. It’s also really cold in there. It’s a really ugly green color. I’m not feeling that at all. That’s going to have to go. Anyway, I’m in decorating mode. I need it to feel more cozy and Jenn-like.
- I have been in a super grumpy mood all day (see #1) and then I checked my mail to find that I had a save the date card from honoluluorbust. I’m so happy and excited for him. He’s one of my oldest friends, and I’m super pumped about his wedding. His fiance is the coolest, sweetest guy ever. OMG SO EXCITED.
- Leaving the office early to drink beer and eat chocolate covered cherries also helped improve my mood. I still think I could benefit from a nap before my bf gets here. He told me I better not be grumpy when he gets here. He’s going to get laid either way so does it really matter? We shall see. Besides, I’m always nice to him. He’s too cute for me to be mean to him.
- Wanna see my “nipple”?