Meanwhile, at the office…

This shit is getting to be too much. Last month, they found a dead body in front of the office. Hookers use our parking lot as a fuck site, and leave used condoms laying around. There are lots of muggings, random assaults, hit and runs, and various other crimes in the area – even in broad daylight. It seems to be on the rise. We often have random people walk in off the street and ask for handouts. Unfortunately, we have a little over a year left on the lease. My plan is to eventually relocate the office much closer to where I live. I’ll lose some clients over it, but I don’t really give a fuck.

surreal af

This entire situation feels so fucking weird. Is this even real life? 2020 has been a real shit show so far.

I drove into the office this morning, during peak traffic time, and the highways/roads were mostly empty.

At the office, all kinds of people were just walking in for shit, which I found strange. Hello, do you not watch/read the news, bro? This is not a good time to conduct business in person that can be handled over the phone. We ended up locking the door and putting a sign up. I did a bit of work, packed up a bunch of stuff I needed, and headed home, where I now sit in my study. I have an afternoon of phone consultations ahead of me, as well as miscellaneous paperwork. Eventually, D and I have to venture out to the grocery store. We need to stock up.

While at the office, I took a package of toilet paper since we are running low, and I have no idea when I’ll be able to get more. We’ve stopped using our paper towels/napkins too – just in case. We are using cloth towels and cloth napkins – which maybe we should get into the habit of using anyway since it’s better for the environment.

I spoke to Naarah and JN and canceled our plans. Gotta text A&R next.

I’m already tired of being cooped up in the house. It’s going to be a long three weeks (and maybe more).

In other news this week: I have my radiation oncology appointment on Wednesday, and my medical oncology appointment on Friday. I’m getting nervous about starting treatment; especially in light of everything that is going on.

More later. I have work to do.

this is a new one

I met with this dude a while back. He wants to file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Typically, I need pay stubs from the last six months if you’re going to file, but he told me he had been unemployed during that period. Cool. Makes my life easier.

Fast forward to today, when this same dude emails over a bunch of documents (so I can start prepping the case). He sends a bunch of pay stubs. Upon closer inspection, it seems he has created these pay stubs, from a website called Check Stub Maker. Each check has a watermark on it that says, “This watermark will be removed after purchase,” in big letters. Can’t miss it. So he goes to all this trouble to make pay stubs I wasn’t even looking for, that don’t help his case in anyway, and in fact may hurt his case, but then is too cheap and/or stupid to pay to get the fucking watermark removed. Jesus fuck, bro. Can’t make this stupidity up.

But my favorite part is still to come: My favorite part is that he misspelled the “employer’s” address. It should say South Hanley, but instead says Soutj Hanley.

lol lol lol.

It hurts my head trying to figure this out. Why??????

a day in the life: work day edition

9:20 am

I’m going to just type things here in this text box as they come to me throughout the day.

Those sleeping pills work, dude. Maybe too well.

My 9:00 appointment canceled. They always cancel. I don’t know why the ladies even bother setting them.

Traffic was beautiful today. I love driving on holidays.

I like staying home on holidays more tho. lol.


10:25 am

So far 3 out of 3 appointments have either canceled or no-showed. This is typical. Especially in the mornings.

At least it’s giving me time to get caught up on other stuff.

Just got an invite to N’s birthday party on 2/8. It’s a super small gathering. Beer & games at URB/Recess. Should be fun. Our February is already booking up. D and I want to go on a mini weekend vacay the weekend of Feb 21st. We’re thinking Memphis. Then that Sunday night, I have a ticket to see Rent!! And let’s not forget Valentine’s Day! I love Valentine’s Day!


10:58 am

Why are so many people comfortable with being late? It’s a huge pet peeve of mine. It’s so fucking disrespectful. On time to a professional appointment is at least 10 minutes before the scheduled appointment. I’ll give you a pass if you at least show up at the appointment time, but people who walk in ten to twenty minutes late like it’s no big deal: ooh that shit really fucking enrages me.


11:26 am

My 2020 rule of not working for free is starting to piss a lot of people off – including my staff.

People know what the rules are. If they choose not to follow the rules, I refuse to let that be my problem anymore. I’m done with this shit.

I’m extremely fucking annoyed.


12:16 pm

No longer annoyed. My mood swings, dude, let me tell you. Hey, I’m Cancer sun and Cancer moon. It goes with the territory.

I just finished my go-to Bread Co salad, aka The Jenn Special: half chicken caesar salad with extra dressing and add gorgonzola.

I think I need to cut way back on my drinking again. It has creeped up these past two weeks. We’ve had a lot of shit going on though. Soon I’ll be on oxy for a bit – so I won’t be able to drink. It will be easy to go full-on Keto during my recovery week. I’m hoping to lose a couple of pounds. I need to see the 140s again!!

Though, honestly, I haven’t been getting any complaints. If you know what I mean.

People who wait until the day before a foreclosure sale to call an attorney are baffling to me. And then they’re like: drop everything to save my house, but I don’t have any money to pay you.

cool, cool, cool. PASS.

One of my favorite work related things is when someone calls for a quote, then talks shit about the amount, hangs up on us, and then calls back like 30 minutes later to hire us. Yep. We’re a good deal, motherfucker, but now the price has gone up. *shrugs* Don’t be a dick!


12:42 pm

Five of the seven afternoon appointments have confirmed. Not that this really means anything. Haha.


3:30 pm

I just finished four back-to-back consultations.


Now I’m eating a beef stick and some cheese. Mmm.


3:39 pm

Some lady called here earlier wanting to file Ch 13 to stop the sale of her home scheduled for tomorrow fucking afternoon. Then I find out that the real estate is actually owned by her LLC, and she was going to go quit claim it into her own name. So I was like nah pass. I’m not in the mood to fuck with any of that shit today. Fast forward to just now, when a fellow bk attorney just told me that this chick also called her, and it turns out she has committed all kinds of fraud – including forging the judge’s name in a previous bankruptcy case. HOLY FUCK. Bullet dodged.


4:37 pm

Today I had two (male) clients not believe I was the attorney because apparently I look too young. On the one hand, it’s kind of a compliment, right? But, on the other hand, how rude for you to ask what my age is, random man who came in to discuss bankruptcy. My age is old enough to be the only attorney in the room, bro.


The office closes in 20 minutes, and I will be heading to a local bar/restaurant to meet up with Carrie. It will be good to see her and get caught up. Despite what I mentioned earlier in this post, I think I’ll be having a drink tonight. It has been a long day.

Not gonna lie: I’m dreading trying to park in the CWE and then walk in the freezing cold to the restaurant, but it will be worth it. Something I really enjoy about the suburbs are the fucking parking lots.





we’ll see about that, bro

Some guy just called and made an appointment to meet with me next Thursday to discuss bankruptcy. According to my assistant, upon finding out I’m a female, he chuckled and said, “Oh good. Female attorneys are way less intimidating.”

We shall see about that, motherfucker.

I put a note in his appointment on the calendar so I can remember he said it. That kind of shit annoys the fuck out of me.

In today’s version of “Stuff Clients Say”

One client recently bought a new car, despite the fact that she is already paying on two different cars, both of which are in excellent condition. In way of explanation, she said, “Well I made that decision (to buy the third car) while I was high on oxy, and I know I must have been really high too, because I told my boyfriend he could stick his thing in my butt. I never let him do that normally!”

Yep…that actually happened. I literally laughed out loud.


mini move

I’m testing out a new office. I moved a bunch of my stuff into the small conference room today, just to get an idea for how it would feel to work in here. So far, so good. It’s much warmer, and generally cozier than the other room. Plus, it doesn’t have any memories associated with former business partner. I like that very much. It’s also closer to T and K, which means we can talk to each other. I was feeling super isolated in the back room.

I’m like 99% sure I’m going to move into this space permanently. D said he’d come down to help me move my love seat, and to assist with hanging stuff on the walls. I’m excited about it. Hopefully we can get that done next week.

Oh and I’m going to start working at this big conference table and use my desk just to store stuff. Having all this space for my many papers is quite nice. My desk just isn’t big enough to spread out.

I’m thinking I need a couple of plants in here, too.

New year/new space/new beginning.


It’s 9:17 pm right now. I’ve been awake since 4 am. I saw the sun rise on my way to the office.

I went hard core into the day, ready to get my new law firm going. I operated frantically, and non-stop, for about five hours, when I got an email from my former business partner:


I don’t have to start over from (almost) scratch.


That was part of a much larger email. Part of which included an apology for the shitty, manipulative texts he sent me yesterday; and then another part that said:

The girls were planning to quit when they thought he was taking full ownership of the firm. They aren’t looking for new jobs anymore. 😊

Obviously I accepted this offer. This is what I’ve wanted for years: to have full ownership of this law firm; not to start a new solo practice. I was prepared to do so, and even organized a new LLC last night, but this is my literal dream come true. I am stunned still…almost twelve hours later.

It’s a motherfucking game changer.

Everything is chaos. I’m ridiculously stressed/overwhelmed. I’m scared out of my mind. I’m already way behind, like I need to work all weekend to even begin to catch up, and I’m in a shitty market, at a compete disadvantage. But… BUT I’M SO FUCKING PUMPED.

This is everything.