Exciting news!

I can finally share my exciting law firm news: we are expanding! We plan to open an office in Kansas City by the end of the year. There has been a lot of planning involved, and there is a lot of work left to do, but Scott and I are very excited. We just told the staff today and they are (for the most part) very excited as well. Yay for new adventures!

I can taste blood

because I’ve been biting my tongue all morning. So far I have refrained from going off on:

  • a court clerk
  • a prosecutor
  • my employees

All of whom have deserved my wrath on this fine fucking day.

I am definitely practicing patience and kindness today.

Oh and tomorrow? Tomorrow is going to suck hella fucking hard. I have a case on the docket tomorrow morning that is so fucked I can’t even…

This is why so many attorneys are alcoholics.


This makes me smile.

Today is Admin Professionals Day and since I couldn’t be in the office, I sent each of our three legal assistants a flower arrangement. They were apparently just delivered and my partner texted me: You’ve got a bunch of chicks here in near tears 😊.

These ladies are so very fabulous and it’s my job to make sure they know how much I appreciate them. I love making them happy. 

it has been a fucking day, my dudes

Today my (now former) client called the cops on me because I refused to fill out her info packet for her and refused to issue her an immediate refund when she decided she wanted to take her business elsewhere as a result. I explained that she must submit her request in writing, per the terms of the fee agreement she signed, and that any refund check would be issued at the end of the month (per office policy). Then she refused to leave and told me she was going to beat my ass.


So once the cops came they ended up issuing her a written trespassing warning and told her that if she comes back she will be arrested.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Additionally, the furnace has been declared “seriously hazardous” and shut off by the HVAC tech, so it is freezing in the office. Oh and this morning a prospective client flipped out because I refused to file a bankruptcy case for her because she has already had 6 failed Chapter 13 cases, and I’m sure as shit not going to be the dumb fuck who files #7 (to stop a foreclosure sale, of course. Uh huh).

To make matters even better, I started taking an antibiotic last night on which I cannot drink alcohol and additionally is making me feel like complete shit. This is a bad week to have to give up alcohol.

The bright side of the day: some good stuff is happening for D and we are going out tonight to celebrate. He wants me to pick the place, so I guess I better give that some thought. Hmm…

boo fucking hoo, jenn

Sometimes being good at my job sucks. My colleagues refer me the most complicated & fucked up Chapter 13 cases, which I usually take because I’m a fucking sucker. There is a part of me, however, that enjoys the challenge. When I get one of these cases confirmed without any objections, I do a little victory dance. Haha.


you know what they say about assuming…

Yesterday, I had a consultation with a local celebrity. My paralegals had alerted me to the fact that he was coming in, and they were pretty excited about it. I could not muster the same enthusiasm. I kept thinking: Oh great! Another wealthy, privileged, mansplaining, super high maintenance, white male client. Yay!! *eyeroll*

Needless to say, I was dreading the appointment.

But you know what? I was wrong. He was actually a very nice man, and I feel like a total asshole for judging him without giving him a chance first. That was a dick move, Jenn. Who’s the asshole now?

It was a good reminder/life lesson: Don’t judge a book by its cover. Give people a chance to show you who they are. Don’t make assumptions.