solo

It’s 9:17 pm right now. I’ve been awake since 4 am. I saw the sun rise on my way to the office.

I went hard core into the day, ready to get my new law firm going. I operated frantically, and non-stop, for about five hours, when I got an email from my former business partner:

THE LAW FIRM IS MINE.

I don’t have to start over from (almost) scratch.

IT’S MINE.

That was part of a much larger email. Part of which included an apology for the shitty, manipulative texts he sent me yesterday; and then another part that said:

The girls were planning to quit when they thought he was taking full ownership of the firm. They aren’t looking for new jobs anymore. 😊

Obviously I accepted this offer. This is what I’ve wanted for years: to have full ownership of this law firm; not to start a new solo practice. I was prepared to do so, and even organized a new LLC last night, but this is my literal dream come true. I am stunned still…almost twelve hours later.

It’s a motherfucking game changer.

Everything is chaos. I’m ridiculously stressed/overwhelmed. I’m scared out of my mind. I’m already way behind, like I need to work all weekend to even begin to catch up, and I’m in a shitty market, at a compete disadvantage. But… BUT I’M SO FUCKING PUMPED.

This is everything.

in the blink of an eye…

everything changes.

For a long list of reasons that I cannot get into here, I am holding onto my cases, and fighting for what’s mine. I just created a new business entity, which will get to work first thing tomorrow.

THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO. SO. FUCKING. MUCH.

I am stressed beyond any other stress ever, and I feel like I’m going to stroke out at any moment.

I am so fucking grateful for my amazing support group. My husband, my friends, the lawyers (who are also friends, but deserve their own mention because they have stepped up in a BIG way the last couple of days, like one even called in a favor from another attorney on my behalf).

I feel very loved. Well with the exception of he who shall remain nameless. He hates my fucking guts right now, and has been gaslighting me all fucking afternoon.

I will be the bigger person.  I will not engage. What’s the point? I’ve let him drag me down for too long already.

I don’t know what is going to happen. I am scared shitless. I might still fail…fall flat on my face. But at least I will stand up on my own first, and see what I’m made of. I should have done this years ago, and I feel like such an idiot for allowing this nonsense to go on as long as it did.

 

finding the happy again

You make your own happiness. I’m a true believer in that. So now I have to figure out what will make me happier with my career, and then actually do it.

I’m tired of being this miserable, tired, bitchy version of myself.

I have to accept that by putting up certain boundaries/making changes, I will piss off/hurt certain people in my life. It is not my job to carry anyone other than myself.

Say it. Repeat it. Mean it.

Ugh…what a day!

Can’t trust a Monday.

I’m only finally getting to eat at 3:30.

I’ve been in court all day – different courts too – so I’ve been running around like a crazy person, dealing with shitty people and their stupid bullshit. I’m proud to say I was extremely gracious throughout, despite being hangry and hot. Ugh it’s so fucking hot.

It’s going to be a tequila kind of night.

truthy tuesday things

  • This one guy, a client’s “man friend,” whom I got into it with previously, is too scared to come into the office now. He just drops her off and walks her to the door. I’m happy about this. That guy sucks. He knows what I think of him. Scamming motherfucker.
  • Not related to the above, I yelled to K today, “PLEASE TELL HIM TO JUST STAY HOME AND NOT TO COME IN HERE BECAUSE I AM GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT IF HE DOES.”
  • It is, however, related to the fact that my business partner called in sick today, but is now trying to come in. Not trying to be mean, but I don’t need you here. I’ve got this, bro.
  • I don’t understand how one makes a legal determination regarding disposable income and the ability to file a certain chapter of bankruptcy without actually completeting those forms. It isn’t like this was obvious. In the end, I had it figured out in less than 15 minutes. I don’t understand. It’s making me ragey, tbh. This means nothing to anyone but me, I know, but that’s okay.
  • I’m going to need a drink tonight.
  • Didn’t run last night because I needed a break. Oh and also because I’m reading a book about a (fictional) serial killer, and it’s creeping me out. I’m already kind of scared to run by myself at night even though I don’t leave the subdivision – especially down at the far end where they are still building.
  • We are making beef and broccoli tonight and watching TNG. That sounds just right.
  • My biggest pet peeve, which I have mentioned a thousand times already, is people being late. It’s so fucking rude. Happening currently. This prospective client is 18 minutes late. I already hate her. Not a good way to start things off.
  • I AM (sometimes double) BOOKED EVERY HALF HOUR FOR THE ENTIRE WORK DAY – I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO BE LATE.
  • It did give me the time to write this post though. Lol.
  • She’s here now, so…