
Back In The Saddle

When people message: “Hey I have a question! Got a sec??”
Ugh…just ask the damn question so I don’t have to go in blind.
And also – it’s never fast, so stop lying.
I’ve decided I’m going back to work full-time in January.
I can’t be this person anymore.
As long as I’m able, I’m going to live a normal life. I’ve been feeling pretty good for a couple of weeks now, and I’m hopeful it will last.
Send all the good vibes. I need them.
Like went out to night court and negotiated a kick-ass deal for the client. Woo!! ❤️
I got up, got dressed up, and headed to court. It is an hour drive from my place to this particular courthouse. About 30 min out, I started feeling extremely sick. About 15 min after that, I had to make an emergency stop at a gas station. It was bad enough that I had to call it – I texted K and told her what was happening. She said she’d call the clerk to explain. Both she and D were worried enough that they offered to pick me up, but I didn’t want to leave my car that far from home. I ended up sitting in the car for a while, drinking water, and that helped. Once the uncontrollable shaking stopped, I drove home.
Chemo can eat my entire dick. It’s difficult not to feel completely worthless when stuff like this happens. I cannot be relied upon anymore. I feel like a burden and a liability. A disappointment. I used to be a fucking bad ass bitch baller.
*SIGH*
In other, somewhat related, news, earlier on my drive, a young deer jumped in front of my car. I barely had time to stop. I was very close to him, and we made eye contact for a few seconds before he ran off. He was absolutely stunning, and I’m so grateful he wasn’t hurt. It brought me joy to watch him gallop away. So magestic.
I woke up feeling pretty good today. My energy is high (for me). I think today will be a good day.
On today’s agenda:
Tomorrow morning, I’ll be driving about an hour for an in-person court hearing. It sounds like I only need a continuance, so it sucks that this requires an appearance, but it will be sort of good to get out into the mix; even if it is for something fucking stupid.
I do hate the clerks down in this particular county though. The PA, too. They are all a bunch of dicks and they hate the “big city attorneys” and treat us like shit. One of them asked me once if I was stupid because I asked about one of their procedures – I’m serious. LOL forever. Fucking hicks. I bet I get the Delta Variant down there.
Anyhoo – I have high hopes that these cancer meds are actually working for me, and that is maybe why I am feeling better, and that maybe life will feel normal for a bit. I/we deserve it.
xoxo
Getting my lawyer on.
I’m going into the office tomorrow to fix an epic fuck up made by my ex business partner back in like 2013 that is just now coming to bite us (meaning me) in the ass. This motherfucker. 🤯