The daily recap: oh Monday, you bitch

Woke up at 5:58 am.

Sick dog shitting all over the place.

Grumpy, sleep deprived husband was up all night dealing with sick dog. Left him at home with the dog. (He was able to take a nap, thankfully).

Dropped the kids off at school.

Hauled ass to crim court in Clayton. My client didn’t bother to show up. Fun times.

Met with a couple of crazy ass motherfuckers at the office. I’m too tired to go into the details, but it was a whole fucking ordeal. I’m tired of dealing with legit crazy people all the fucking time.

More court. City muni this time. In the waiting room, I was forced to interact with this creeper who tried to bang me like 9 years ago. He told me a bunch of bad jokes. It was awkward.

Back to the office for more client interactions. The afternoon batch wasn’t too bad.

Left around 4:30 to do kid pick-ups. Finally got home around 6:15 pm. I go from the city to Chesterfield to Saint Peters to O’Fallon and seriously fuuuuuuuuck me, dude.

Almost cried with relief when I finally took off my shoes. Fashion means pain sometimes.

Started working again at 6:30. I worked at the kitchen bar while D cooked.

Dinner.

Back to work until a little after nine.

Used the pet stain vac to clean up Bismarck’s mess. Ugh.

Started this:

Not sure how I feel about it yet. The characters are weird.

Stopped in the middle of the show to dig Freya’s phone out of the fucking toilet. Sigh.

And now we are in bed. Fucking finally.

Good night. My alarm will go off in six hours.

come to the dark side

My step-daughter currently thinks she wants to be an attorney when she grows up.

On the one hand, I’m like oh to the no.

But on the other hand, I’m like fuck yessssssss.

She interviewed to be a defense attorney for the mock trial, and found out today that she got it. It’s the first thing she told me tonight when I picked her up, and we both squealed. ❤️

On the drive home, she was asking me about various cases of mine, and kept saying, “That sounds so fun.”

Oh and apparently the kids thought I was the best guest speaker they’ve had, and they want me to come back. That made me smile.

the lecture

I lectured Freya’s class this afternoon on crim law and trial practice. It went really well. The kids were super engaged, and asked a lot of insightful questions. I totally geeked out. I had been worried I’d run out of things to say, but we talked right up to the bell.

At one point early on, I heard one girl whisper to another, “Freya’s step-mom is really pretty,” and it reminded me of my favorite Grey’s Anatomy quote:

lawyer mom

Tonight has been a good night with the teen. She has been especially talkative; I think partially because she’s excited about tomorrow afternoon. I’m going in tomorrow to help out in Spectra, the gifted kids program, by lecturing about crim law. The kids are doing a mock trial, and I get to be the expert. Tomorrow I’m popping in to teach them about burden of proof and reasonable doubt. She seems really excited about it. The teacher made them interview for their roles at trial, and she applied to be the defense attorney because I “make it seem fun and interesting.” That made me really happy. It’s nice to know that she actually listens to me when I talk.

Tomorrow should be fun. I’m hoping he’ll let me come back later to watch the actual trial. I love mock trials. Trial Practice was my favorite class in law school.

I’m totally going to nerd out. It already happened on the drive home tonight. I love talking about the law.

kill ’em with kindness

Old school attorneys often do this thing where they act like a total dick until they know you for a while, almost like a hazing; I’m talking unnecessarily mean. You have to prove you’re worthy of their professional respect. This is particularly true in criminal law.

So…This prosecutor at city muni has been a real ass to me the last couple of months, but today he was super cool. We actually laughed about some stuff, and he talked shit about his co-worker to me. My persistence paid off!

It seems silly, but it felt like a victory, and I left court smiling.

you’d be amazed

…at how many people think they can call up here and get free legal advice over the phone. They get so irrationally angry when we tell them no.

It’s the weirdest thing. My experience has taught me that few people believe that my knowledge and expertise are things that are worthy of compensation. I often find myself having to ask people: do you work for free?

Another favorite is when I give them an answer to a question they asked, but they don’t like that answer, so then they yell at me like I created the laws/rules.

I spent yesterday afternoon at a judicial conference at Wash U Law School. There were many law students in attendance, and a part of me wanted to tell all of them to get out while they still could. They were asking questions about how we (the practicing attorneys) liked our jobs, and I just kept laughing in response.