I can hear my boss talking on the phone to clients next door, and I just have to say:

I DON’T MISS TALKING TO THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AT ALL.

Unfortunately, I will be talking to clients more frequently soon, since I am going to start doing consultations again. But it won’t be like it was before, and I am forever fucking grateful.

a quick update

I’ve been really busy, like too busy to blog, and it feels good. The merger is a lot of work, and everything is chaos right now, but in the best way possible.

I had in-person court this morning for the first time in like 8 months, and it felt fucking fantastic. Fuck… I really miss being in a courtroom several times per week.

My date last night was really good. I wasn’t expecting us to vibe so well, though weirdly my husband totally called it days prior. I guess he knows me!! Anyway – we had drinks, and a bit of food. We talked very candidly about all the things. Then we made out for about 15 min in his car. We’re already planning our next date. Let’s be blunt: you’ve gotta see if the sex is good if dating is going to work, so we need to bang. The making out was quite promising!

His wife messaged me this morning and said he’s been gushing about our date. 🥰

I love having this type of relationship where I can be dating someone while being friends with his wife. That’s so cool. I kind of really dig poly life, which I never would have expected. So much of it depends on open, honest, frequent communication. I’m looking forward to discussing some things with my husband tonight during our happy hour.

I have more to say, but the boss (I have a boss!) is waiting on me.

I’m happy. ♥️

probably tl;dr

I write blog posts in my head when I’m trying to fall asleep. There is something about that in-between sleep & awake place that gets me thinking about all the things. Sometimes I send myself emails so I don’t forget. I do this with tasks too. I have to get it out of my head in order to relax. Blogging, journaling, and list-making are essentially my therapy. Of course, this blog is also a piece of me that I’m leaving behind for my husband and kids. A legacy of sorts. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately: what I’m going to be leaving behind for them. As a result, I have decided to stop holding back here. I’ve been posting less of the random thoughts that pop up. I’ve been doing less videos. Fuck that. I’m putting it all out here. For him (and for them when they are older).

This is going to be one of those long ass stream of consciousness posts, so I apologize in advance.

The landscaping crew is here today! It has finally begun. I am so pleased. I can’t wait to see how it looks. We’re getting a Japanese maple and a hydrangea bush, among other things.

BEWARE: The next paragraph contains spoilers for The Office (just incase you are a weirdo like me and never watched it back in the day)

We have finally made it past the part of The Office where Michael leaves. I’ve been surprised at how emotional I’ve gotten at recent episodes. I cried kind of a lot during his proposal to Holly. And when Pam runs up to Michael at the airport…omg *sobs*. Once we have finished The Office, I have told D I want to watch Community. I never really gave it much of a chance back in the day, as I found it to be too sitcom-y, but I’m ready now. Bring it on!

I love sharing things with him. Even insignificant shit like tv shows.

I never put up any of the fall decor. I usually do a porch display, dining room decor, and a festive table in the foyer. I skipped all of it this year, mostly because like how is it even Thanksgiving time already anyway? This year has been so weirdly fast and slow all at once. I’m thinking I’ll do some dining room decor this weekend – for our family Thanksgiving. Then we will put up all the Christmas things.

My style is changing. I haven’t looked at Modcloth in ages. I barely look at Unique Vintage anymore. I’m borderline obsessed with White House/Black Market, and I’ve recently discovered a couple of clothing sites that I really like. I haven’t had much disposable income as of late due to issues at the firm. I can’t pay myself – gotta pay the staff. But the end of all that is rapidly approaching, and I think I’m going to treat myself to a wardrobe update. I have a way I want to present myself moving forward – more sophisticated/mature, but also sexier. I bought two dresses earlier this week (from Target) that are way outside of my comfort zone in that they are fitted and SHORT. But I’m ready to shake things up a bit.

Speaking of the end: it is upon me. The last day of my current practice will be 11/30. And that is actually the day I’m planning to have the movers come, so really it seems like the last day is going to be next Wednesday. We were always going to be closed on Thanksgiving and the day after. There really isn’t any point in being open for business on the 30th. I just…can’t believe it. I’m still processing all of that. There will be tears eventually.

But…last night DG told me that I never have to interact with clients again if I don’t want to, and god damn that sounds nice. I doubt I’ll take him up on it, because I want to stay sharp, but it will certainly be nice to have a staff of 6 legal assistants doing most of the interacting with clients.

I’m already down two pounds, and while I know it is only water weight, it feels good to see that number go down. My goal is to be down two more pounds next week. (My weigh-in day is Wednesday)

OH AND I RAN LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. Difficult, but good.

I have a date tomorrow night with M, and I am excited about it. He’s coming out to me this time, and D is going into the city to hang with J. I never would have thought that I’d be poly, but we’ve sort of just eased into it without even realizing it. I’m really enjoying where things are currently. I love the relationship we have with them. We split up for dates, I have my solo dates with J, and we have group dates. Apparently I’m bisexual and polyamorous. Huh. It’s interesting how you keep learning things about yourself / how you keep growing as a person – throughout your entire life. I’ve known I was bi for years, but have never been very vocal about it. I’ve been attracted to women and have had sex with women for the last ten years or so. But I’d never met a woman I was super into, like legit crushing on, until I met J.

There is more floating around in my head, but I have neglected my responsibilities long enough. I hope you enjoyed this post, and if it was tl;dr, then I leave you with this little tidbit:

As I said to Karen in a text last night: “Since my metastatic diagnosis, I’ve decided to always speak my truth.”

This post is some of my current truths. Thanks for reading.

xoxo

how is it thursday afternoon already? also – thank god it’s thursday afternoon already.

Only three consultations stand between me and happy hour.

Woo.

My hearings today…oof. I had three. The first one: the lady testifies that she is married and living with her spouse, despite the fact that she told me she was single/never married. The second one: I had to have my staff call him to tell him to call into the docket, despite having just reminded him last night. He told them he forgot. So then the Trustee swears him in, “Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?” His response? “I’ll do my best.” Motherfucker – what??? The trustee goes, “Um…okay,” and proceeds, which I thought was fucking nuts. If I were the Trustee, I would have been like, “This requires a yes or no answer, bro, and the options are yes or gtfo.”

I DON’T UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE.

My third hearing was fine. Thankfully.

I started my day by getting shampoo in my left eye, which burned like fucking fire, and resulted in a red, swollen, painful eye. That kind of set the tone for my day, tbh.