little reminders

Recently, I’ve been listening almost exclusively to those playlists Spotify makes based upon your history, and this song has come up several times. I love, love, love this song, and I kind of hate that it now reminds me of my ex-husband and our divorce.

Back story:

Drive-By Truckers was one of the bands we discovered, and loved, together. We saw them like three or four times in concert. Jason Isbell was/is our favorite. All of his songs are beautiful, though poignant as fuck. The lyrics fuck me up. This song was always our favorite of them.

After our divorce, my ex got lyrics from this song tattooed on his arm, and now I can’t hear this song without thinking of that.

The tattoo is a beach at night with these lyrics:

“Well I ain’t really drowning ’cause I see the beach from here.”

Which was always my favorite lyric, because fuck if I haven’t felt that way so often in my own life. It’s hard sometimes, knowing that I made someone else feel that way as well.

Lolkay so…

Tonight we got drunk with Nick and Nancy on the rooftop of our neighborhood pub (so now I can’t stop singing Rooftop by DMB), and Nancy told me something interesting.

Apparently, her friend, Jen, who I’ve hung with a few times, is friends with my ex-husband’s gf. My ex and his gf have been dating for like 3+ years. So apparently Abby (my ex’s gf), saw that I was Facebook friends with Jen, and asked her for the scoop on me.

Jen doesn’t know me well, so I’m sure that wasn’t very informative. Still, it was interesting to hear about. Especially since the only thing Abby seems to know is that I cheated on G. (How convenient that he didn’t choose to tell her the entire story…you know, the one where he and K aren’t saints… Not many people know that story). Anyway, Abby and I have only interacted like two or three times ever, so I’m not surprised she’s curious about me. I would be, too, under the circumstances.

Lol. This is so gossipy. 😆

Btw, she should break up with him. She’s only 29 (don’t get me started) so she has time to turn shit around. lol lol lol

Sorry, not sorry.

In my defense, I’m drunk high and chatty.

You’re welcome!

On a different labor day

6 years ago we went to a local winery, and got quite drunk.

Look how young we were!

(My hair was at about four months regrowth post-chemo. It’s weird to see it so short, though I do miss how easy it was to deal with).

We had a lot of fun that day. Except for the part where D’s ex went off on him via text. But that’s just all part of the story now: remember when we got wasted at the winery and then K yelled at us. That was a good day!

🤣🤣🤣

(His ex yelling at him/us for having fun became a common theme over the years. Luckily, that has mostly died down).

We were thinking about going back to the winery this year, but I think I need an alcohol break. We’ve hit it hard three nights in a row. So the current plan is to go shopping this afternoon, which is another favorite Labor Day activity. I’m always in the mood to shop.

But I may need a nap first. I’m on the struggle bus today.

My ex just picked up Jackson, so we are without kids until Wednesday night. Who knows what we’ll get into…

It finally happened…

My son had a mini breakdown this afternoon after hearing his dad go on and on about his precarious financial situation. Not in front of the kid, dude. NOT IN FRONT OF THE KID!

What the fuck?

Obviously, I comforted him, and reassured him that D and I will take care of him no matter what. That doesn’t relieve his anxiety about his dad though. Ugh.

I just wish…

Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It has literally never fucking mattered.

and also on the co-parenting front:

Just sent a link to Freya’s school’s parent portal along with a note, to D, which said –

You need to sign up for this parent portal so we don’t have to rely on K for information anymore. 

I’m tired of relying on other people. I want the info first hand. It’s not even that I’m saying she’s not giving it to us. It’s just stupid not to get it directly from the source.

Oh…how nice

No need to include us in on the plans to visit with Freya on family visitation day. I mean…why include us when you can go be the hero on your own? We’re only the other parents. No biggie.

Cool, cool, cool.

Co-parenting sucks.

You know what though? Given everything that has happened this year, I’m going to wedge myself so far up his ex-wife’s ass when it comes to shit like this that her head is going to fucking explode. (Don’t think I’ve forgotten that Freya was signed up for a two week camp without our permission).

The gloves are off. 🤷🏻‍♀️