boring bullets

  • It’s raining again.
  • It better not rain this weekend. We have Microfest (beer festival) on Saturday and we are staying at a hotel in the city. We have many plans. Almost all of which involve being outside.
  • I need a fun, adult oriented weekend god dammit.
  • I have been in a bit of a reading funk recently. I’ve been in a bad headspace. I’m finally back to it. I finished a couple of books yesterday. Last night I (barely) started Into the Water by Paula Hawkins. She’s the author of The Girl On The Train. Just a couple more essays to go and I’ll be finished with One Day We’ll All Be Dead And None Of This Will Matter, which is really good btw.
  • I shouldn’t risk it, but if my knee continues to improve I’m going to do another 30DS tonight. (30 day shred workout). It’s hard on the knees, but it is so fucking effective.
  • I have a bunch of wedding appointments to make. I have emails about scheduling the engagement photo session and our menu tasting. I also need to email the lady about what cake flavors we want to try next weekend.  Oh and respond to the florist about setting up a consultation. And…I just want to hide under the blankets.
  • I’ve gotten really shitty about responding to texts.
  • I’m in this weird meh headspace. I just don’t give much of a shit about most stuff.
  • I think I’m going to read for a bit and then maybe watch a movie.
  • Sorry this post is so fucking boring.
  • xoxo

weekend recap

  • How is it Sunday already? Boo!
  • Yesterday, Frey and I went to Michaels and bought some stuff for the house. There were a couple of bird cages I wanted as finishing touches for the entry way table. We bought her some LED string lights (lantern style) for her bedroom and she was so excited. It’s weird, but our little Michaels excursions are some of our best bonding time. *heart*
  • Today D put together Jack’s new desk & chair and Jackson is just thrilled about it. I love it when the kids are happy.
  • Milestone with the kids last night. They are growing up so fast. Too fast.
  • D and I went out to a friend’s graduation party last night, and it ended up feeling more like a swinger party. Haha. It was fun though.
  • Schlafly Hoppy Wheat and Schlafly Rye IPA are pretty tasty.
  • Better Call Saul.
  • D&D tonight with the kids. And fro-yo.
  • I’m really enjoying this final season of Girls.
  • Recently I’ve had several women in their early to mid twenties reach out to me for advice and/or tell me they consider me a role model. I’m very touched by this. Like…wow. Thanks, ladies. xoxo
  • Our bedroom closet situation is not good and, as a result, our bedroom floor is covered with clothes. We’ve decided to purchase an armoire for D. He will move most of his clothing into it and then I will take over the entire closet. I believe we will both be happier this way.
  • The weather was gorgeous yesterday so D and I went on a run together. I did way better than I expected, and it felt amazing to be out in the fresh air.
  • I can’t believe it’s April already. We have a busy month ahead. I’m tired just thinking about it.

monday meanderings

  • There is snow on the ground. It’s rainy too. A very blah sort of day.
  • Obligatory DST/Spring forward sucks balls comment right here.
  • I’m wearing fleece leggings right now, and I must admit they may be better than LLR. They are warm, soft, and super cozy. Also the length on this particular brand is excellent.
  • I have a pile of work on my desk and zero motivation to address it.
  • D and I started seriously researching honeymoon options last night. Right now St. Lucia is high on our list. It looks incredible.
  • Today is weigh in day. I haven’t been following WW very closely, but I do feel like I’ve been making better choices overall. I figured I’d see a gain this week, but nope: .6 lb loss. I’ll take it!
  • The plan is to start counting points again today. We went to the gym yesterday, where I managed an hour of cardio. I plan to exercise again tonight.
  • This post is boring. Bye.

my top ten albums of the 90s

I just adore lists like this. D and I were having a conversation regarding this topic sometime in the last couple of weeks (fuck my memory blows nowadays! did you know they say chemo brain can last up to five fucking years?! wtf.) so I decided to go ahead and list it out for future reference:

These are in no particular order btw.

  1. Ten (Pearl Jam)
  2. Core (STP)
  3. Under The Table and Dreaming (DMB)
  4. Tragic Kingdom (No Doubt)
  5. Sublime (Sublime)
  6. OK Computer (Radiohead)
  7. Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette)
  8. Pieces of Me (Jewel)
  9. Friction, Baby (Better Than Ezra)
  10. Live Though This (Hole)

I still listen to all of these, from beginning to end, quite often.

xoxo

list it!

I’m a huge proponent of the to-do list. I write one out almost every day. My bullet journal is filled with many lists like this one from today.

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I’m feeling good about today’s progress so far.

I’m also planning to eliminate four items from my closet today as a kick start to Operation Organize the Closet. Baby steps.

Oh and I started logging calories in My Fitness Pal because I’m way over this winter weight I’ve gained. It’s gotta go! I guess I’ll call this Operation Bangin’ Wedding Bod. If my joints cooperate, I’d like to re-start 30 Day Shred this weekend.

xoxo, babes.

in my head

  • Busy week ahead. I feel slightly anxious.
  • I really need to pick up my new anxiety meds from Walgreens. Tomorrow.
  • I have plans with friends Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. I’m going to be exhausted by Sunday, but it will be worth it.
  • I’m not feeling well today. I caught D’s cold.
  • As of right now, I’ve read 3 1/2 books this year. My goal is 100.
  • D&D got off to a rocky start Saturday night, but ended up being awesome.
  • The Handmaid’s Tale will premiere on Hulu on April 26th. I’m ridic excited.
  • I’m also excited about: Girls, GoT, House of Cards, and Better Call Saul.
  • I just ordered several books of poetry from Amazon. Pablo Neruda. *sigh*
  • My favorite LLR leggings have a giant hole in the ass. I’m not amused.
  • I can’t stop listening to Angel by DMB for some reason.
  • On the wedding front: next steps are the guest list and ordering save the date cards.
  • We have a humidifier in our room that we use at night. It makes weird noises sometimes that cause me to wake up thinking someone is speaking to me and I freak out. Of course, sometimes someone is actually speaking to me: Freya. Either because of her insomnia or because she is sleepwalking.
  • You know what’s awesome? Dear Mr. You by Mary Louise Parker. You should read it.
  • I’ve decided I want these for my wedding bouquet. How cool are those?!  They’ll last forever. I already know where I plan to display them. I’m going to get a bouquet for Frey too.
  • My pal, Kara, is coming to visit from Colorado in a couple of weeks. So excited! I have to show her all the best of STL in one weekend. I have some planning to do.
  • Oh and we are going to see The Lumineers while she’s here!
  • I feel sort of terrible so I guess I should cuddle up and read some more until I pass out.

xoxo

sharing is caring

    • My ex continues to be a huge disappointment. He told me on Sunday night that Dave and I “wreaked amazing amounts of destruction.” He also talks about D like he’s some sort of super villain. It’s completely ridiculous.
    • I’m grateful everyday to be divorced. Being married to a man-child is the fucking worst.
    • My jaw fucking hurts and I’m just not convinced it’s related to the sinus infection. Unfortunately, the dentist can’t figure out which tooth would be causing the issue so I can’t try a root canal at this point. The pain woke me up around 2:30 am and I wasn’t able to get back to sleep until sometime after 6. Ugh.
    • I’m having insomnia problems again on top of all the pain bullshit.
    • I think I may have seasonal affective disorder. I find myself growing increasingly depressed during what should be the happiest time of my life.
    • And I’m losing interest in all the things I normally love.
    • I’m giving serious consideration to run/walking a marathon in October 2017. The training is a huge time commitment though, so i need to be sure.
    • Regardless, I need to get fit in 2017. Because I have a honeymoon to attend and I’m going to wear the skimpiest white bikini. It’s going to have “bride” written across the ass and be super fucking cliche. I can’t wait.
    • D and I celebrated the anniversary of the night we met last night at the place where we met. It was fun.
    • I truly understand what it means to be in love with your best friend. It is the best thing ever.
    • I’ve gained like 15 to 20 pounds in the last year and a half. I don’t know the exact amount because I refuse to weigh myself. I think I’m going to sign up for Weight Watchers next week. It worked really well for me last time. I lost 30 lbs on it.
    • Though part of me thinks: Jenn, you know how to lose weight. Just fucking do it.
    • Wine & beer have been the downfall of my waistline.
    • I’m 37-years-old and I still feel like a young, clueless girl faking it til’ she makes it. I’m starting to accept this just never stops.
    • Carrie Fisher. *cries*

thankful like whoa

I’m super duper fucking grateful for the following:

  • The privilege of being Jackson’s mother. He is so amazing. Sweet, funny, cute, and smart. He’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
  • The privilege of being a role model/step-parent to Freya. I finally have the daughter I have always wanted.
  • Dave. Our Love. I never knew love like this could exist. I never thought I could feel so free to be myself. He makes me better. His love is like my heroin.
  • My law firm. How did this happen? I’m blown away. We worked so fucking hard. Sometimes, Scott and I will fist bump and just be like, “FUCK YES!!!!!!”
  • I have the coolest, funnest, most supportive and diverse group of friends. Old and new.
  • My gorgeous house that I designed from fucking scratch!
  • My ex. For giving me the best kid ever. For forgiving me for my past transgressions. For giving me (for the most part) a really awesome divorced co-parenting experience.
  • Cats. Especially: Violet, Bozo, Morgan, Duke, and Antonio.
  • Drugs. Mmmkay?
  • My life after breast cancer. Forever fucking grateful.

stuff

  • D wants me to blog, and so blog I shall.
  • I walked/ran 2.5 miles tonight. I had to dig deep. I did 1.5 the day before. Baby steps.
  • But…I joined Club Fitness tonight so I’m ready to get my pump on.
  • And tomorrow I have my weekly meeting with my trainer, so go me.
  • I’ve been consuming way less alcohol as well. *pats self on back*
  • Currently reading two books: The Vanishing Year & Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail.
  • Last night I finished Tiny Beautiful Things and absolutely loved it.
  • Reading is my jam.
  • So is Obama 2020. I adore Michelle Obama.
  • My ex texted me today and asked me to call and help him pick out health insurance, which I did because what was I going to say, but I’m giving him all the side eye right now. Like why can’t he do anything on his own?
  • Tonight I tucked Freya into bed and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. *heart melted*

what’s the story, morning glory?

  1. We finally have WiFi. You have never seen a happier family. Haha.
  2. I’ve been all about the reading lately. It’s all I want to do.
  3. Danielle & Ross came out to visit today. This was their first time seeing the house. We got another bottle of wine (yay!) which we drank at like noon. Haha. I love giving the tour of the house. It’s fun.
  4. Tonight is D&D and pizza with the kiddos.
  5. OMG you guys…we can watch Netflix again. I plan on doing a It’s Always Sunny binge watch after the kids go to bed tonight.
  6. I’ve been trying to stay off the internet as much as possible. For reasons.
  7. LOVE. It’s all about love. I’m going to keep spreading love. I’m going to be positive. I’m going to be the change I wish to see.

observations from the couch

  • I’m sooooo sick. This cold is kicking my ass. It improves for a bit and then comes back twice as bad. It’s terrible. Colds almost never affect me like this. 
  • I’m couch bound today; trying to rest up for trick-or-treating tonight.  Currently watching the Poltergeist remake. I hate it. Why fuck with perfection?
  • My medicine cocktail for tonight: Sudafed, caffeine, booze, and sugar. That’s the plan. 
  • The joints in my hands and wrists fucking kill today. Sigh. 
  • I’ve read 84 books this year. I’m trying to reach 100. I finished #84 last night but I’m having trouble deciding what I want to read next. 
  • I made a reservation for me and the kiddos at the new cat cafe. I’m so excited.
  • I’m going to watch scary movies all day. Next up: The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
  • We still don’t have Internet. 😡
  • Ugh I need to feel better. I have so much shit to do. 
  • I can’t wait to eat the kids’ candy tonight.