Welcome to 2020!

  • The first list post of the new year!
  • Speaking of firsts, my first selfie of the year was of me smoking a joint.
  • We didn’t see the ball drop, because we were busy banging our friends. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ
  • There were literally fireworks going off during the sexing. It was funny.
  • In other (non-sex) news, we took all the Christmas stuff down, and it feels great in the house. It makes it obvious that we really need to get some drapes in the big living room, tho.
  • I finally got D to switch to the darkside. #vagueblogging
  • The Napa trip is being planned! Sounds like probably June. It can’t conflict with Deer Creel DMB weekend though!! I need the tour dates to be released. Come on, February!!
  • As of this morning, I’m down six pounds. Official weigh in isn’t until tomorrow morning, though.
  • But…I haven’t cracked yet! Though I’d gladly cut a bitch for a cookie.
  • I can’t believe I have to go to work tomorrow. Fuuuuuuuuck me.
  • I’m not going to proofread this before I post it…fuck it.

Sunday Seven: it’s been a while

  1. Today was a snow day. More of the same tomorrow. The commute will be fucking horrible. I bet it takes two hours to get to court. 😭
  2. I’m so bad at sexting or even being sexy. I don’t do sexy. I’m too awkward to be sexy.
  3. I don’t know how to relax anymore.
  4. I’ve cut way back on drinking recently. I don’t crave it as much anymore, and I dislike the all too frequent three day hangovers after only like two drinks. Pass.
  5. I go back and forth between finding myself quite attractive or a hideous troll beast. There is no middle ground. Lol. Today is a beast kinda day.
  6. I’m behind. In everything.
  7. Keep on swimming.

Happy Anniversary List

  • I’ve been awake since around 4:30 am. I am done.
  • It’s 10:04 pm now.
  • It has been a fucking Monday.
  • Already dreaming of the weekend.
  • It’s Halloween party weekend!! ❀️
  • More people are finding out about The Situation. It has been interesting…the reactions.
  • We are watching The Tudors, and D and I have decided that, in our situation, I’m “the scandal of Christendom.”
  • His parents do refer to me as “the floozy” after all.
  • That makes me giggle.

The bullets stopped working because WordPress is fucking stupid. Eat me.

I took a break, and now I’m back. It’s 10:21 pm now.

I just took a big old hit. That’s the #1 perk of being self employed: no random drug testing.

I think of it as a Xanax + Ambien combo.

Oh!! Bismarck, aka the most beautiful boy ever, has been chosen to be one of the “12 Dogs of Christmas” at his daycare. I have to take him to a photo shoot on 11/10. My boy is a model!!

It’s 10:42 now (another break). I feel so relaxed right now. We’re currently discussing our wedding vows. Prior, we talked about which friends we want to fuck. That’s always a fun one.

Okay 10:52 here now. I need to go. Oh but I may post some pics.

Anniversary Pic 2019.


  • I watched three movies today: The Amityville Horror (2005), Insidious, and The Death of Stalin.
  • I also watched Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games.
  • We made the famous mac and cheese tonight.
  • It didn’t have dog meat in it tho. (Sunny joke!)
  • Fuck tomorrow being Monday. Boo.
  • Freya called me a fashion expert the other day, and even though it isn’t true, it gave me all the good feels. πŸ’›
  • Related to above: she wants me to help her start dressing/doing her make-up to look like an anime girl.
  • We finally ordered our Halloween costumes today. I’m excited about our theme for this year. BUT I CAN’T TELL YOU BECAUSE IT’S A SECRET.
  • Isn’t it sort of crazy that it will be 2020 soon? Time is such a mindfuck.
  • The moon looks incredibly cool tonight.
  • #conflicted
  • Tonight, D was like, “This is an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself,” and that definitely got my attention. I have to remember that change is good.
  • Remember to be grateful. I’m actually thinking of tattooing it on my wrist. Just the word: grateful.
  • Every day is a gift. Even the shitty ones.

truthy tuesday things

  • This one guy, a client’s “man friend,” whom I got into it with previously, is too scared to come into the office now. He just drops her off and walks her to the door. I’m happy about this. That guy sucks. He knows what I think of him. Scamming motherfucker.
  • It is, however, related to the fact that my business partner called in sick today, but is now trying to come in. Not trying to be mean, but I don’t need you here. I’ve got this, bro.
  • I don’t understand how one makes a legal determination regarding disposable income and the ability to file a certain chapter of bankruptcy without actually completeting those forms. It isn’t like this was obvious. In the end, I had it figured out in less than 15 minutes. I don’t understand. It’s making me ragey, tbh. This means nothing to anyone but me, I know, but that’s okay.
  • I’m going to need a drink tonight.
  • Didn’t run last night because I needed a break. Oh and also because I’m reading a book about a (fictional) serial killer, and it’s creeping me out. I’m already kind of scared to run by myself at night even though I don’t leave the subdivision – especially down at the far end where they are still building.
  • We are making beef and broccoli tonight and watching TNG. That sounds just right.
  • My biggest pet peeve, which I have mentioned a thousand times already, is people being late. It’s so fucking rude. Happening currently. This prospective client is 18 minutes late. I already hate her. Not a good way to start things off.
  • It did give me the time to write this post though. Lol.
  • She’s here now, so…

everything and nothing

  • It’s definitely a Monday. The clients are on. My staff is sort of pissy as a result of the clients being dicks. The phone won’t stop ringing. *sigh*
  • Whatever. I’m leaving in 30 minutes, and then I don’t come back until Wednesday, which is my last day until next Tuesday. Vacation ftw!
  • I went upstairs this morning to let Bizzy out of his kennel and to wake up Jackson for camp – and it was a bit of a mind fuck. I had forgotten that we’d changed up the sleeping arrangements. Everyone is in a new room! Everyone is also super duper happy, including the dog who seems to like being near my stuff. He really is my little furry shadow. Love him so much.
  • D said he’d buy me some study furniture as a birthday gift, so I need to pick some stuff out. We did a bit of looking around online yesterday while we were at the brewery. I found some cute stuff on Wayfair. Just have to figure out a budget and make some choices.
  • Today is supposed to be weigh in day, but I’ve decided to permanently change it to Thursday. Mondays are not good weigh in days, since I am usually retaining water from workouts and alcohol. I also consume more calories over the weekend. I’ve noticed that I’ll be high on Monday morning, and by Wednesday/Thursday I am back to normal. It also works out that my weekly points would reset on Thursday, which is essentially when our weekend begins.
  • I was complaining a bit to D this morning, before he left for work, that while I know it’s silly, I’m super focused on the number on the scale right now. He was like, “I don’t care what the scale says, you look awesome.” I needed to hear that.
  • I’m still having trouble walking properly due to all the squats on Saturday morning. The most difficult stuff is walking down the stairs and sitting down. OUCH!
  • Tomorrow I need to get some shit done for D’s family birthday/father’s day celebration, which is supposed to be Wednesday night (since we’ll be out of town all weekend, and then he’s going out of town after that, like he’s not even driving back to STL with me, but is instead flying to Pittsburgh). Time is flying and everything is sneaking up on me. I am so unprepared for everything going on this month.
  • For example: we only just finally booked our Nashville hotel today – as well as boarding for Bizzy. Procrastination party of 2! Lol. Our hotel looks amazing though. It is right off Broadway, and has an incredible rooftop pool and bar. I am so ready to be on this trip!!
  • Other vacation related to-do list stuff: book the Indy hotel, book the flights to Key West.
  • THE WEATHER TODAY IS FUCKING AMAZING. It was 75 and breezy last I was outside. My husband is unhappy, but I am in heaven.
  • The plan tonight is to run, but I’m a little concerned my wobbly legs won’t be able to handle it, so it may end up being a walk instead. The crazy part is that I’m in this much pain after Nancy promised not to kill me! This is her going easy on me. I’m so fucked. Lol.

spill the tea

My step-daughter asks me to “spill the tea” when I see her after she’s been at her mom’s house. Apparently, this means “tell me your gossip.” Lol. I don’t have much gossip, but I do have some random musings I feel like sharing:

  • My favorite internet train wreck may stop blogging, and this makes me very sad. It has been my favorite internet soap opera for the last several years.
  • Sorry not sorry.
  • I met a 30-year-old female today, and she was cracking me up. She was like, “So I told her, I don’t know how to write a check, like I’ve never even seen one.” God that made me feel old. Though I’m totally with her: checks are stupid and unnecessary.
  • While in Eureka Springs, I kept getting carded, and one waitress said, “You don’t look like you were born in the 70s.” To be fair, I was born in 1979, but still…totally going to revel in it anytime someone tells me I look younger than my age. Deal with it.
  • It reminds me of the time my step-daughter told me that I don’t look like the other moms. She said it in a complimentary way – just to be clear.
  • But then she said, “You are a cool mom,” and that reminded me of the mom from Mean Girls and I was like, “Oh no…” Lol.
  • I recently acquired three sheath dresses care of Old Navy, that are super cute and flattering. I’m going to wear one tomorrow (court day) and I’m super pumped about it. Rock that mom bod, baby.
  • Just yesterday, I canceled several subscriptions. To name a few: LeTote, Meundies, and Dollar Shave Club. I put Redbird Vintage Box on a temp hold; not because I don’t love it, but because my collection is getting a bit out of hand. I still have Allure Beauty Box, though if it doesn’t wow me this month then it will get canceled as well. I will likely never cancel my BOTM Club subscription, though the number of books on hand is starting to get a bit out of control. I need to give some away. That said, I still ordered two this month, and the only reason it wasn’t three is because I already received an advanced reader’s copy of the third (Recursion).
  • I won’t lie: I’ve been eyeing the Ann Taylor Loft fashion box.
  • I’m feeling really good today after all that exercise last night. I desperately need to stay on top of it for both my physical and mental health. I do wish that my knees could handle it better though.
  • There are a couple of carnivals in town – one of which Jack and I saw on the way to camp this morning – and I’m thinking about maybe taking the kids this weekend. We are also talking about going to a water park on Sunday. Of course, it looks like it might be storming all weekend, so maybe not.
  • Yes, I’m already dreaming of the weekend.
  • I’m leaving early today to get my hair done, so I should probably stop blogging and get back to work.
  • Peace & Love

bullets from the bed

  • D has a meeting this morning, so I get to be lazy until lunchtime. No complaints.
  • We’re on eastern time here. And then we’re springing forward this weekend – so my sense of time should be all nice and fucked up by the time I get back home on Monday.
  • Yesterday…I struggle with what to say about it here. I guess I’ll leave it at this: it felt like a bomb was thrown in our laps, and now we have to figure out how to fix the damage, and hopefully prevent future bombings. I feel sad, clueless, foolish, angry…so many different emotions. I hurt for so many different people right now. All in different ways. My job is to provide support. So that’s what I’m going to do. Support and love. Always and forever. I may talk about this in more detail at some point, because I think it’s an important topic. But for now, I need to protect privacy, as well as sort through my thoughts and feelings. But I’m sad. Very sad.
  • I’m learning as I go. Parenting is hard. You don’t know if you’re fucking it up until it’s too late.
  • I’m afraid to get too excited and/or potentially jinx it (I’m that person lol), but I’m thinking that the Xeljanz may be starting to work. Of course, it could just be a coincidence. All I know is that my knee was super swollen and painful yesterday, but it’s significantly improved this morning. I don’t normally make such quick recoveries. I’m cautiously optimistic. Today will make dose three, and so far the side effects have been very manageable. My body has responded favorably to these biological drugs in the past, so…fingers crossed.
  • I started Daisy Jones & The Six on the plane and it’s great so far.
  • As the plane landed last night, I realized that I’m always a bit surprised when I’ve made it without crashing. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned my fear of flying here. It used to be almost debilitating. I remember back in the early 2000s when I would lie awake at night, weeks before my actual flight, obsessing over it. Crying even. There were places I didn’t go because of it…trips I didn’t take. Therapy and meds helped. I can do it now, but I still don’t like it. I’m dreading having to fly back alone on Monday morning. Ultimately, however, you’ve gotta seize the day, because life is short. Cancer helped me realize that. So while I don’t like flying, I do like traveling, and so I get it done.
  • Today should be fun. Our hotel is right in the middle of all the fun stuff in downtown Cleveland. We’re meeting up with our friends tonight. I’m excited.

Happy Friday! Be gentle with yourself. Enjoy the weekend. xoxo

sunday sundries

  • It has been a quiet, chill weekend.
  • And also a cold weekend. I’ve spent almost all of it under a blanket.
  • Another snowstorm graced us with its presence today. We had to head out on the slippery roads to get Freya from her friend’s house, so we decided to go out for lunch too. We only got stuck once and I maneuvered us out of it fairly quickly. Not too bad for a VW Beetle.
  • We paid a neighborhood kid to shovel the driveway and sidewalk. A good way to spend $20. Especially since I expect things will get quite icy overnight.
  • I have a short work week ahead: just three days. I have much work to squeeze in that time.
  • D and I are going out of town on Thursday. He is spending the week after in the Cleveland office, and since I’ve never been to Cleveland, we decided to do a weekend away. I’m excited to meet up with friends on Friday night, and to check out the local brewery scene. Southern Tier is within walking distance of the hotel. Our friends are going to spend Friday night at the same hotel, so I imagine we’ll stay out late getting good and drunk. I also hope to do some shopping. I’m sure we’ll check out the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame too, because duh.
  • I’ve been obsessing over decor for the mantle in the great room. It needs a make over. I have an idea in mind – just need to find the right pieces.
  • We’re making another new recipe tonight. I think there’s going to be a lot of that this month. I’m in a try all the new things sort of mood.
  • I think it’s related to cabin fever. I need spring. The winter weather has beaten me down. I have a head full of plans for spring. And summer, too.

bus stop bullets

  • My plans for the weekend include: long walks to take advantage of the nice weather, cooking/baking, reading, watching Two Towers with the family, meeting Carrie to see a movie on Sunday, and not going to any football related events. Ha!
  • Maybe we’ll go bowling with the kids instead.
  • I read ten books in January. Get it, girl! Goodreads says I’m six books ahead of schedule. It will slow down at some point. It always does.
  • I need to do some Valentine’s shopping this weekend before all the good stuff is gone. Plus I have some Etsy ordering to do.
  • February is my second favorite month of the year. Well…maybe third. My favorite is definitely October and then February and July are sort of tied I guess.
  • I’ve put extra effort into a couple of strained relationships here recently and it has paid off tremendously. Just goes to show that change has to start with yourself. A little self-reflection never hurts.
  • Sometimes you’ve gotta just suck it up, let it go, and be the bigger person.
  • I’m hoping our bathroom knobs were delivered today. They were delayed due to the weather. If so, then that’s this weekend’s home improvement project.
  • Also on the home improvement front: finalizing our bed selection and getting everything ordered. I want a canopy bed in a specific color and style. I think we have it narrowed down to 2 or 3.
  • I’m like way into my house and just general domestic shit right now. It’s a winter thing. When spring hits, I’ll be ready to get back into going out and socializing more.
  • Btw…I think the happy light really does work. I need to be better about using it.
  • The kiddo’s bus should be here soon. Happy weekend-ing!

party highlights

  • We invited just the core friends. We had 13 people total. Perfect party number, in my opinion. Not too big, not too small.
  • Make that 14! Sweet baby Talia was here too. Though she slept through the second half, which is good because that’s when shit always starts to get a bit cray.
  • Drinking FLUXX was a big hit. We will def revisit that.
  • So. Much. Tequila.
  • The weed bar was a big hit!
  • Boobs. Groping boobs. Making plans.
  • Flip cup and beer pong. Because duh.
  • I always walks away from these parties feeling super blessed to have such amazing friends. πŸ₯°πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸŒˆπŸ¦„πŸΉπŸ‘πŸ»β€οΈπŸŒΈβ­οΈ

thursday thoughts

/// I feel quite awful today. I mentioned that earlier, but it is getting worse, and I’m worried I really do have a cold – or worse…the flu. Fuck I hope not. All I know is that I feel like I feel when I’m hungover and yet I haven’t had any booze since dinner on Tuesday night. So…

/// I’ve taken to keeping blog related notes in Google Keep because I can’t remember shit anymore. I always have all these ideas and then they slip away.

/// Cub Scouts ended up not being so bad. It was very hands on, and sort of fun: we used the various tools on the knife to carve soap, turn screws into a block of wood, open a can, etc. Oh and I seem to have made a mom friend. Jack’s friend Zach’s mom has been putting forth effort into hanging out with me at the various events, and she’s cool, so I guess I should maybe ask her to do something? Idk. I don’t know how this works. Haha.

/// On my way in today, I saw a woman driving a mini van that had a bumper sticker which read, “I used to be cool,” and I felt that shit in my bones.

/// The fog this morning was intense, and while it seems to have lifted, it is still a very blah-gray day. January is the fucking worst.

/// Both of my knees are swollen. Only slightly so, which is good, I guess, but it still sucks, and I have zero energy. Everything is super meh right now.

/// I’ve been listening to the album The Bends quite a bit since the beginning of the year. It just speaks to me right now. All of the songs are good, as is the flow.

/// On the way to school, Jackson was referencing Monty Python, and I know D would be proud.

/// I think I’m going to challenge myself to wear more of the clothes in my closet. I’m thinking about not allowing myself to wear certain outfits until I’ve cycled through others. Maybe something like: you can’t wear the same outfit twice for an entire month? I may start this in February or I may not do it at all. We shall see.

/// I think there is supposed to be another big snow storm this weekend. I’m kind of over snow right now, tbh, because it’s currently all dirty and gross. But I wouldn’t hate being snowed in with the family for the weekend. We have a lot of tv, movies, and games to keep us entertained. In fact, I believe we had originally planned to watch all three LOTR movies this weekend anyway. At the kids’ request. I never say no to LOTR.

/// I’m planning a tea party! I’m so excited about this. I have a Pinterest board dedicated to it. I was concerned that nobody would be interested in attending, so I put out feelers on Facebook, and now there are too many people who want to come! My husband made fun of me, but the plan is to be quite fancy and pretentious with our fancy dresses, hats, and gloves while we eat tiny cucumber sandwiches, maracons, and the like. SQUEE!!! I’m trying to decide on timing. Spring feels most appropriate. Maybe March?