Letterbox

Got a box full of letters,
Think you might like to read
Some things you might like to see,
But they’re all addressed to me

Wish I had a lotta answers,
Cause that’s the way it should be
For all these questions,
Being directed at me

I just can’t find the time
To write my mind
The way I want it to read

morning commute music

was really speaking to me today:

That’s why I don’t cry when my dog runs away
I don’t get angry at the bills I have to pay
I don’t get angry when my mom smokes pot
Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock
Fuckin’ and fightin’, it’s all the same
Livin’ with Louie dog’s the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin’, let the lovin’ come back to me

What I Got, Sublime

^^That hits really close to home and used to be my fucking jam back in the day.

We look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking
But we never say a thing
And these crimes between us grow deeper

Ants Marching, DMB

^^That will always and forever remind me of my ex husband.

And I don’t want a never ending life
I just want to be alive while I’m here

Spirits, Strumbellas

^^Self explanatory.

xoxo

being in love feels so intense sometimes

My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry,
which ever you prefer.

I love him so much it literally hurts sometimes. It’s also scary because he could absolutely shatter me. I’ve given him my heart in a way I haven’t given it before. This is a level of trust that is unheard of for me. It has lead to the highest highs and the lowest lows. I wouldn’t want it any other way though.

I love you, David. So very much.

xoxo

I’ve been singing this song a lot this week.

Hello, how are you doing today?
I hope I find you feeling healthy.
I’m so glad our paths crossed this time today
on our way into the night.

Oh, we find love. It’s hiding here,
in the shadows, in the darkness.
Baby, it’s you and I could bring it to the light.
Love, when I approach the tears they fall like rain, you tell me.
Baby, your heart into a thousand pieces dashed.

Stop, only old and wise, with clouded eyes,
You can’t see what I can, I
Blindly throw my faith to the face
Of the next pretty girl that comes my way.

So here we are all of us stand around.
We’re leaning heavy on each other.
Always wondering what is it lies behind
The worried eyes of one another.

I believe it’s love, it’s hiding there
Inside you and inside me.
Baby, the two of us can bring it to the light.
Love, when I approach the tears they fall like rain, you tell me.
Baby, your heart into a thousand pieces dashed.

Stop, only old and wise, with clouded eyes,
You can’t see what I can, I
Blindly throw my faith to the face
Of the next good thing that comes my way.

I say it’s love, it’s inside here,
It comes on out, share it with some.
Baby, you and I could bring it to the light.
Love, when I approach these tears they fall like rain, you tell me.
Baby, your heart into a thousand pieces dashed.

I believe it’s love.

Granny – Dave Matthews Band

I typed this from memory. xoxo

Thankful Thursday

The little ghetto girl that will always live inside my heart cannot believe how lovely life has become. I remember living in the broken down house in the “bad” part of Ferguson. The house with the bullet holes. The house with the abusive, alcoholic, drug addicted father. The house of pain and sadness. The very atmosphere was oppressive.  I used to daydream of how life could maybe be someday if I just tried hard enough. I could go to college and law school. I could fall in love. Have a family. Build a beautiful life. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, and so many obstacles in my way. But I never ever gave up. And here I am now, looking back on a childhood that feels so very far away now. The pain, the suffering, and the struggle were so worth it. I feel so very fortunate.

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself
Well…How did I get here?