Even after all this time and even with all the changes to my body, if D sees me in a state of undress, he’ll pause and come check me out. He’s still so excited to see and touch my body, like he’s a kid in a candy shop, and it’s something I very much cherish.
Drinking red wine, watching The Hobbit, and discussing D&D stuff.
We really weren’t feeling it, but D and I sucked it up and did the 30DS tonight. And you know what? We’re both in a way better mood now. It’s hard to get started
sometimes usually, but I never regret working out.
I also just want to take a second to say I have the best husband in the world. He’s so supportive and encouraging. Even when I’m being difficult. I’m very lucky. ❤️
But listening to my husband laugh at it brings me actual joy.
4 Hands Liquid Wet Hopped India Pale Ale. Beer of the day.
Tonight my husband told me he’s the luckiest man alive. ❤️
As I sit alone, drinking, and waiting on some girlfriends to arrive:
- I told D tonight, after breaking the news that our friend has stage 4, inoperable, pancreatic cancer: I’m so glad I got my ovaries removed. I don’t care that I look older and fatter as long as I get to spend every possible moment with you and the kids.
- He whole heartedly agrees.
- He’s making an appointment for a physical tomorrow. No more fucking around. I can’t live without him.
- We’re going to increase our life insurance too.
- I have my yearly appointment with my oncologist tomorrow afternoon, and I just feel all fucked up about it now. What if, what if, what if?
- Pins and fucking needles.
- It feels like my employee who is leaving has started to phone it in a bit, and that sucks. Not even because I care about the work shit. I just thought we were cooler than that. And I guess it feels like I’m going to miss her, but she’s not going to miss me. So I guess my feelings are hurt.
- I feel like I need to touch base with hard ass Jenn. I’ve gotten so fucking soft.
- But…fuck that. Life is short. I’m happy now, and happy Jenn is softer. That’s just the way it is.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff.