some monday musings

Greetings from Quarantine Day 58 (I think). I’ve lost track.


Bonus cat pic just because.

This meme feels relevant today. It’s mid-May, but it’s barely 60 degrees outside. I’m wearing leggings under my dress, and we have the heat turned on in the house. It’s ridiculous. I’m ready for warmer weather.

Other memes that spoke to me today:

I downloaded a Couch to 10k app. I get a 7 free day trial, and then have to pay like $12 or something. I’ve decided I need a project, and this is going to be the project. I like this app because it had me do an assessment to determine where in the program I should start. I looked at what will be my starting run, and it seems right on point for my fitness level. I’m going to do the first run after my appointments are finished for the day.

I feel unwell. I’m still on that same “allergies combined with drug side effects” struggle bus. I’m crazy exhausted today, which I know is from my white & red blood cell counts being low. This is my recovery week (from Ibrance), but I basically feel like hot garbage right now. I have an appointment Friday with the oncologist, where I will get another round of Faslodex injections (uggggghhhhh) and then I start round 3 of Ibrance on Saturday night. I’m not looking forward to any of it.

Holy fuck I feel bad right now. *sad face*

I’m anxious to see what, if any, fallout occurs from everyone being out and about again in my county. I heard/read reports of restaurants and bars being absolutely packed this weekend – like with people shoulder to shoulder – with almost nobody wearing masks. I figure by the end of this month we should know whether that was an epic fail or not. I’m assuming it will be. I will be staying in for now and seeing how it goes.

I was at Target on Saturday afternoon, and it wasn’t too bad. Most people had on masks. Target was doing a good job of trying to make social distancing happen. I’m in no rush to do it again though. Going out nowadays feels gross and wrong…dangerous. I hate it. I hate all of this.

It was interesting to see what was out of stock. Freya wanted candles for her mom, but there were very few remaining, so I got the best ones I could. The craft aisle was empty. All the bicycles were gone. Still no toilet paper, but we did get some paper towels, which we needed. We’re good on toilet paper (Thanks, Amazon!).

Freya is with her mom all week, and we are sort of bummed about it, but it was only fair given that we had her for (almost) an entire week due to her mom being (potentially) exposed to Covid-19 (and we offered – it isn’t like she asked). Thankfully, K seems to be fine.

I’m already dreaming of the weekend. Too soon?



everything and nothing

  • It’s definitely a Monday. The clients are on. My staff is sort of pissy as a result of the clients being dicks. The phone won’t stop ringing. *sigh*
  • Whatever. I’m leaving in 30 minutes, and then I don’t come back until Wednesday, which is my last day until next Tuesday. Vacation ftw!
  • I went upstairs this morning to let Bizzy out of his kennel and to wake up Jackson for camp – and it was a bit of a mind fuck. I had forgotten that we’d changed up the sleeping arrangements. Everyone is in a new room! Everyone is also super duper happy, including the dog who seems to like being near my stuff. He really is my little furry shadow. Love him so much.
  • D said he’d buy me some study furniture as a birthday gift, so I need to pick some stuff out. We did a bit of looking around online yesterday while we were at the brewery. I found some cute stuff on Wayfair. Just have to figure out a budget and make some choices.
  • Today is supposed to be weigh in day, but I’ve decided to permanently change it to Thursday. Mondays are not good weigh in days, since I am usually retaining water from workouts and alcohol. I also consume more calories over the weekend. I’ve noticed that I’ll be high on Monday morning, and by Wednesday/Thursday I am back to normal. It also works out that my weekly points would reset on Thursday, which is essentially when our weekend begins.
  • I was complaining a bit to D this morning, before he left for work, that while I know it’s silly, I’m super focused on the number on the scale right now. He was like, “I don’t care what the scale says, you look awesome.” I needed to hear that.
  • I’m still having trouble walking properly due to all the squats on Saturday morning. The most difficult stuff is walking down the stairs and sitting down. OUCH!
  • Tomorrow I need to get some shit done for D’s family birthday/father’s day celebration, which is supposed to be Wednesday night (since we’ll be out of town all weekend, and then he’s going out of town after that, like he’s not even driving back to STL with me, but is instead flying to Pittsburgh). Time is flying and everything is sneaking up on me. I am so unprepared for everything going on this month.
  • For example: we only just finally booked our Nashville hotel today – as well as boarding for Bizzy. Procrastination party of 2! Lol. Our hotel looks amazing though. It is right off Broadway, and has an incredible rooftop pool and bar. I am so ready to be on this trip!!
  • Other vacation related to-do list stuff: book the Indy hotel, book the flights to Key West.
  • THE WEATHER TODAY IS FUCKING AMAZING. It was 75 and breezy last I was outside. My husband is unhappy, but I am in heaven.
  • The plan tonight is to run, but I’m a little concerned my wobbly legs won’t be able to handle it, so it may end up being a walk instead. The crazy part is that I’m in this much pain after Nancy promised not to kill me! This is her going easy on me. I’m so fucked. Lol.

monday meh-ness

  • I started this post at 10:39 am. We’ll see what time it is when I actually post it. So many interruptions, all the time.
  • I’m just going through the motions today. I don’t like Mondays. Oh you love Mondays? How delightful for you.
  • I’ve just gotta make it through Thursday and then I get a four day weekend. Nice.
  • And it’s Valentine’s Day week…WOOT.
  • It’s so fucking dreary outside. Ugh.
  • I’m sick of having to wear tights and leggings under my dresses.
  • I’m about to go meet with a potential client who has already spoken with two other attorneys regarding her financial situation. This is never a good sign.
  • It’s now 11:54 pm. I closed that client. Sweet.
  • I suppose I should eat and work on some stuff until the rest of the appointments come in. Meh.
  • I’m super excited to see the kids tonight!
  • Just gotta figure out what to do about dinner. Hmm.
  • It has been a multiple Diet Pepsi sort of morning. I’m on the struggle bus.
  • 12:01 pm. Peace out. I’m going to go eat some pizza rolls.

monday musings

  • Does anyone else have bad eyelash days or is it just me? My eyelashes were not cooperating this morning.
  • I’m in love with my new shoes. I could get used to the Converse life.
  • I’ve seen a lot of people bitching about GoT spoilers recently. I get it. I really do. But you know people are going to do it, so why not just stay off of social media until you watch the episode? Your failure to stay up to date on a show does not create an obligation on my part to not talk about it.
  • I’m currently reading the most delightfully fucked up book. I can’t wait to finish it tonight.
  • Someone’s incompetence just cost me a bunch of money and even more aggravation. I’m frustrated. This is why I have to do fucking everything myself.
  • I have several friends who are poly. I could never be poly. I don’t have that much energy. I can barely keep up with the relationships I currently have.
  • Also, I’m a jealous person. Fucking is one thing, but D’s heart/mind has to belong to me and me alone.
  • My sunburn is bad. Ouch. I’m such a fuck up. I seriously just fail at summer. At least I got it out of the way early this year?
  • I can’t wait to see Jackson tonight!
  • I need to start packing and researching movers/storage companies and just ugh so much to do and so little time. I’m starting to feel a bit anxious.
  • Okay…back to my to-do list.

mental health monday musings

I’m off today just because. I figured I should take my mental health Mondays while I still can. Soon my business partner will be out for an entire month (June), and eventually the plan is that he will be permanently out. I will be left holding the reigns alone. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about that. Mostly, however, I think it’s the right move for everyone involved.

I’ve noticed recently that I am much more confident and outgoing than I used to be. I’m trying to figure out why. Was it leaving behind my old relationship? Was it living through cancer? Is it simply getting older and just finally feeling comfortable in my own skin? Simply having learned from experience that nothing is going to be the end of the world? I suppose it’s a combination of all those things. Anyway…I like it.

I suppose I should just accept that I will always have chronic fatigue and just move on with life? No matter how much sleep I get, I’m still tired exhausted.

This is Jackson’s last week of school. It feels like everything is moving too fast.  He’s going to have a week off before camp starts. I should plan something fun for us to do. I wish there was time for a trip.

Last night’s GoT was so full of girl power and I loved it. Sansa is finally being the bad ass I always knew she could be, and Daenerys is just…wow. Anyway, I loved last night’s episode. This season is off to an amazing start.

My latest Modcloth delivery is waiting for me at the office, which you would think would motivate me to go in (since the office is just a couple miles away), but meh. It’ll wait. Something to look forward to tomorrow, right? Here’s what is waiting for me!


D is going to hate that cat sweatshirt. hahahaha


monday musings

  • Working on Mondays again fucking blows. But busy season is busy.
  • However, I’m off tomorrow for our pre-construction meeting. Woot.
    D and I are spending the day together. *insert super mega heart eyed smiley face here*
  • I can’t wait to comment on all the things.
  • So very sore. Trying to decide whether tonight is a rest night or a work out night, and if I work out should I do 30 DS or should I run? Decisions, decisions.
  • I’m super excited that Dave wants to be my 30 DS workout buddy.
  • We had an impromptu meet up with friends last night and it was super fun. I can’t wait to live near them so we can meet up more often.
  • I have a major case of the Mondays today. But less than two hours until I can pick up my kid and go home.
  • This post is pretty pointless. I just wanted to post something because replies.


mediocre monday musings

  • I’m reading Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling and I am really enjoying it. 
  • I’ve been enjoying a cat cuddlefest since getting home yesterday and I fucking love it. She missed me. *heart eyes*
  • D & I agree we want the king sized bed asap. It’s so luxurious to be able to spread out as much as we want. Also, fucking on the king sized bed is just more fun.  More room to get crazy. 
  • Leap Day!
  • I’m currently obsessed with all things aromatherapy, but two of my favorite recent discoveries are: Zum Mist (aromatherapy room & body mist) in frankincense-lavender and Lollia Relax (perfume) in honey & lavender. <—–that one smells fucking incredible. 
  • D & I discovered this fun (trendy) new grocery store last night and filled a cart with stuff to buy just because. His okra chips selection didn’t really pan out though.  Yuck.
  • Apparently anonymous messaging has been turned on. I didn’t do it (at least not on purpose) so I don’t know if it is yet another tumblr glitch or what. Either way, I have received two anonymous messages, which I will address here –
    • to the anon who said you suspect I’m a freak in the sheets: Indeed. 
    • to the anon who asked if I gave D road head: Nah. That’s not really our scene. Besides, he gets blown a fuck ton so he has zero complaints in that area. 
  • I’m going to break my own rule and leave it on because I’m bored. However, I (as always) reserve the right to not respond. 
  • There was more I wanted to say, but I’ve forgotten. 
  • Chemo brain…it’s a thing and it doesn’t seem to ever completely go away. 
  • I’ve been tagged to do stuff. I’m going to do it. I promise. 

gonna start a revolution from my bed

Today was a really good day.

I didn’t work today, because it’s Monday. I was skeptical in the beginning about taking Mondays off, because I’m a control freak, but having a long weekend every weekend is fucking awesome. It has completely eliminated my beginning of the week anxiety, which used to be a real problem.

I woke up at the bf’s house this morning, and after he left for work, I lounged around for hours. I alternated between reading and watching Gilmore Girls. I started it today, and I am hooked.

Then I did some much needed shopping at Target, where I also picked up another (super fancy pants) adult coloring book and some new colored pencils. It’s gorgeous. Coloring is akin to meditation for me. I just zone out and forget about everything but staying in the lines. I love it. 

I have my kiddo back at home after a long weekend without him. Yay! It’s No Screen Week at his school, and so we spent the evening together without the distraction of televisions and iPads. It was lovely. We colored, built puzzles, baked brownies, played Uno, and read. 

Freya messaged me throughout the night and we talked about stuff, like our now mutual love of Gilmore Girls. She said she will watch it with me when we move into the new house.  I can tell that our relationship is getting stronger and that makes me so very happy.  I’m excited to be a strong, positive female role model in her life. (For the record, her mom is one as well. I’m not trying to hate or anything. I’m just saying that I recognize I will never be her mother, but I am nonetheless excited to be an important figure in her life.)

Life is good. 

starting over

I can’t believe it is already Monday.  The weekend flew by, and we had so much fun. I’m absolutely exhausted though. 

I think I need to get good with the fact that pretty much nothing is going to get done for the next couple of weeks. It’s that time of year. 

I’m excited for Christmas. Dave and I braved the stores yesterday and mostly completed our shopping. I still need to get something for the bestie, but I still have time. 

The Force Awakens was so good. I kept thinking holy shit that’s bad ass…over and over and over. 

I have been spending a bunch of time blocking anonymous followers. I very much want to make sure that the crazy bitches who were reading this blog before can no longer do so. 

I’m a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, but my only big resolution this year is to leave the divorce drama behind me and concentrate on my future. I couldn’t do that with Dave’s ex, her friends, my ex-mil, and various other haters reading about my life and stirring up drama. 

I am going to be setting some mini goals for myself. For example, I want to commit to running 31 miles in January. That’s just one mile per day. I know it’s not much, but you’ve got to start somewhere, right? 

And I want to restart 30 Day Shred after being inspired by a conversation I had about what a bad ass Jillian is at the firm Christmas party. 

I get to see my kid tonight. I haven’t seen him since Thursday morning. I am beyond ready. 

monday musings

  • I crave silence. I need a certain amount of time to just be by myself. When that is interrupted, I get upset. 
  • That’s why I’ve really started to love my Mondays off. I’m by myself. I can read, sleep, clean, exercise, do housework, shop, go on an adventure by myself…the point is I can do whatever I want, and I don’t have to answer to anyone.
  • This (past) weekend was really great.
  • I’m struggling with feeling disappointed in someone. I know everyone makes mistakes. I have certainly made my fair share of poor decisions, but I also clean up my own messes. I don’t rely upon other people to fix my problems, and I guess that’s the reason I’m frustrated. You broke it. Go fix it. 
  • I’ve read 45 out of 50 books for the 2015 reading goal I set for myself. I really enjoyed the one I just finished: Daughters Unto Devils. But now I’m in that weird limbo period where I just can’t decide what to read next. This causes me far more anxiety than it should, but it’s because I won’t stop reading a book even when it sucks. I have to finish it. So selection is very important. 
  • I want to get back into running, but I feel so out of sorts. 
  • And I just feel so unwell so much of the time. 
  • I have a list of things to accomplish today, because it’s the first day of Operation Give A Fuck
  • Five more hours until I am reunited with my kid. Can’t. Wait. 

it’s officially monday now

Because it’s after midnight. And I’m still awake because anxiety. 

I’m off today, but having the day off is not awesome when it involves going to the dentist. *sigh*


I won’t have to wake up super early.  The five am mornings have been killing me. 

Also, I will be able to get in a run after I drop the kiddo at school. My Sunday morning run was tough, but I felt really good after.


Tonight I get to hang out with Jackson and Freya so it could definitely be worse.  I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. Plus, we will probably make cutesy videos and play hide & seek. So yay for kid bonding time. 

it must be monday

  • I woke up with a horrible headache. Every surface of my head hurts; even the scalp. My neck hurts, too. It’s terrible. 
  • I also woke up to a sick kid.
  • I had to take my boyfriend to the airport for a work trip. I miss him already, but we got to have lunch together, so yay. 
  • I have a rare night alone tonight. Normally I’d have my kid, but I swapped nights this week to accommodate his dad. I’m not even sure what to do with myself. Hmm.
  • Oh who am I kidding…my night will consist of running, reading, wine, and laundry. Because that’s how I roll. 
  • Have I mentioned how much my head hurts? Because it really, really fucking hurts, like whoa.