monday musings

  • Does anyone else have bad eyelash days or is it just me? My eyelashes were not cooperating this morning.
  • I’m in love with my new shoes. I could get used to the Converse life.
  • I’ve seen a lot of people bitching about GoT spoilers recently. I get it. I really do. But you know people are going to do it, so why not just stay off of social media until you watch the episode? Your failure to stay up to date on a show does not create an obligation on my part to not talk about it.
  • I’m currently reading the most delightfully fucked up book. I can’t wait to finish it tonight.
  • Someone’s incompetence just cost me a bunch of money and even more aggravation. I’m frustrated. This is why I have to do fucking everything myself.
  • I have several friends who are poly. I could never be poly. I don’t have that much energy. I can barely keep up with the relationships I currently have.
  • Also, I’m a jealous person. Fucking is one thing, but D’s heart/mind has to belong to me and me alone.
  • My sunburn is bad. Ouch. I’m such a fuck up. I seriously just fail at summer. At least I got it out of the way early this year?
  • I can’t wait to see Jackson tonight!
  • I need to start packing and researching movers/storage companies and just ugh so much to do and so little time. I’m starting to feel a bit anxious.
  • Okay…back to my to-do list.

mental health monday musings

I’m off today just because. I figured I should take my mental health Mondays while I still can. Soon my business partner will be out for an entire month (June), and eventually the plan is that he will be permanently out. I will be left holding the reigns alone. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about that. Mostly, however, I think it’s the right move for everyone involved.

I’ve noticed recently that I am much more confident and outgoing than I used to be. I’m trying to figure out why. Was it leaving behind my old relationship? Was it living through cancer? Is it simply getting older and just finally feeling comfortable in my own skin? Simply having learned from experience that nothing is going to be the end of the world? I suppose it’s a combination of all those things. Anyway…I like it.

I suppose I should just accept that I will always have chronic fatigue and just move on with life? No matter how much sleep I get, I’m still tired exhausted.

This is Jackson’s last week of school. It feels like everything is moving too fast.  He’s going to have a week off before camp starts. I should plan something fun for us to do. I wish there was time for a trip.

Last night’s GoT was so full of girl power and I loved it. Sansa is finally being the bad ass I always knew she could be, and Daenerys is just…wow. Anyway, I loved last night’s episode. This season is off to an amazing start.

My latest Modcloth delivery is waiting for me at the office, which you would think would motivate me to go in (since the office is just a couple miles away), but meh. It’ll wait. Something to look forward to tomorrow, right? Here’s what is waiting for me!

IMG_4351

D is going to hate that cat sweatshirt. hahahaha

 

monday musings

  • Working on Mondays again fucking blows. But busy season is busy.
  • However, I’m off tomorrow for our pre-construction meeting. Woot.
    D and I are spending the day together. *insert super mega heart eyed smiley face here*
  • REPLIES ARE BACK OMFG YAY!!!! 
  • I can’t wait to comment on all the things.
  • So very sore. Trying to decide whether tonight is a rest night or a work out night, and if I work out should I do 30 DS or should I run? Decisions, decisions.
  • I’m super excited that Dave wants to be my 30 DS workout buddy.
  • We had an impromptu meet up with friends last night and it was super fun. I can’t wait to live near them so we can meet up more often.
  • I have a major case of the Mondays today. But less than two hours until I can pick up my kid and go home.
  • This post is pretty pointless. I just wanted to post something because replies.

xoxo

mediocre monday musings

  • I’m reading Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling and I am really enjoying it. 
  • I’ve been enjoying a cat cuddlefest since getting home yesterday and I fucking love it. She missed me. *heart eyes*
  • D & I agree we want the king sized bed asap. It’s so luxurious to be able to spread out as much as we want. Also, fucking on the king sized bed is just more fun.  More room to get crazy. 
  • Leap Day!
  • I’m currently obsessed with all things aromatherapy, but two of my favorite recent discoveries are: Zum Mist (aromatherapy room & body mist) in frankincense-lavender and Lollia Relax (perfume) in honey & lavender. <—–that one smells fucking incredible. 
  • D & I discovered this fun (trendy) new grocery store last night and filled a cart with stuff to buy just because. His okra chips selection didn’t really pan out though.  Yuck.
  • Apparently anonymous messaging has been turned on. I didn’t do it (at least not on purpose) so I don’t know if it is yet another tumblr glitch or what. Either way, I have received two anonymous messages, which I will address here –
    • to the anon who said you suspect I’m a freak in the sheets: Indeed. 
    • to the anon who asked if I gave D road head: Nah. That’s not really our scene. Besides, he gets blown a fuck ton so he has zero complaints in that area. 
  • I’m going to break my own rule and leave it on because I’m bored. However, I (as always) reserve the right to not respond. 
  • There was more I wanted to say, but I’ve forgotten. 
  • Chemo brain…it’s a thing and it doesn’t seem to ever completely go away. 
  • I’ve been tagged to do stuff. I’m going to do it. I promise. 

gonna start a revolution from my bed

Today was a really good day.

I didn’t work today, because it’s Monday. I was skeptical in the beginning about taking Mondays off, because I’m a control freak, but having a long weekend every weekend is fucking awesome. It has completely eliminated my beginning of the week anxiety, which used to be a real problem.

I woke up at the bf’s house this morning, and after he left for work, I lounged around for hours. I alternated between reading and watching Gilmore Girls. I started it today, and I am hooked.

Then I did some much needed shopping at Target, where I also picked up another (super fancy pants) adult coloring book and some new colored pencils. It’s gorgeous. Coloring is akin to meditation for me. I just zone out and forget about everything but staying in the lines. I love it. 

I have my kiddo back at home after a long weekend without him. Yay! It’s No Screen Week at his school, and so we spent the evening together without the distraction of televisions and iPads. It was lovely. We colored, built puzzles, baked brownies, played Uno, and read. 

Freya messaged me throughout the night and we talked about stuff, like our now mutual love of Gilmore Girls. She said she will watch it with me when we move into the new house.  I can tell that our relationship is getting stronger and that makes me so very happy.  I’m excited to be a strong, positive female role model in her life. (For the record, her mom is one as well. I’m not trying to hate or anything. I’m just saying that I recognize I will never be her mother, but I am nonetheless excited to be an important figure in her life.)

Life is good. 

starting over

I can’t believe it is already Monday.  The weekend flew by, and we had so much fun. I’m absolutely exhausted though. 

I think I need to get good with the fact that pretty much nothing is going to get done for the next couple of weeks. It’s that time of year. 

I’m excited for Christmas. Dave and I braved the stores yesterday and mostly completed our shopping. I still need to get something for the bestie, but I still have time. 

The Force Awakens was so good. I kept thinking holy shit that’s bad ass…over and over and over. 

I have been spending a bunch of time blocking anonymous followers. I very much want to make sure that the crazy bitches who were reading this blog before can no longer do so. 

I’m a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, but my only big resolution this year is to leave the divorce drama behind me and concentrate on my future. I couldn’t do that with Dave’s ex, her friends, my ex-mil, and various other haters reading about my life and stirring up drama. 

I am going to be setting some mini goals for myself. For example, I want to commit to running 31 miles in January. That’s just one mile per day. I know it’s not much, but you’ve got to start somewhere, right? 

And I want to restart 30 Day Shred after being inspired by a conversation I had about what a bad ass Jillian is at the firm Christmas party. 

I get to see my kid tonight. I haven’t seen him since Thursday morning. I am beyond ready. 

monday musings

  • I crave silence. I need a certain amount of time to just be by myself. When that is interrupted, I get upset. 
  • That’s why I’ve really started to love my Mondays off. I’m by myself. I can read, sleep, clean, exercise, do housework, shop, go on an adventure by myself…the point is I can do whatever I want, and I don’t have to answer to anyone.
  • This (past) weekend was really great.
  • I’m struggling with feeling disappointed in someone. I know everyone makes mistakes. I have certainly made my fair share of poor decisions, but I also clean up my own messes. I don’t rely upon other people to fix my problems, and I guess that’s the reason I’m frustrated. You broke it. Go fix it. 
  • I’ve read 45 out of 50 books for the 2015 reading goal I set for myself. I really enjoyed the one I just finished: Daughters Unto Devils. But now I’m in that weird limbo period where I just can’t decide what to read next. This causes me far more anxiety than it should, but it’s because I won’t stop reading a book even when it sucks. I have to finish it. So selection is very important. 
  • I want to get back into running, but I feel so out of sorts. 
  • And I just feel so unwell so much of the time. 
  • I have a list of things to accomplish today, because it’s the first day of Operation Give A Fuck
  • Five more hours until I am reunited with my kid. Can’t. Wait. 

it’s officially monday now

Because it’s after midnight. And I’m still awake because anxiety. 

I’m off today, but having the day off is not awesome when it involves going to the dentist. *sigh*

*BUT*

I won’t have to wake up super early.  The five am mornings have been killing me. 

Also, I will be able to get in a run after I drop the kiddo at school. My Sunday morning run was tough, but I felt really good after.

*AND*

Tonight I get to hang out with Jackson and Freya so it could definitely be worse.  I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. Plus, we will probably make cutesy videos and play hide & seek. So yay for kid bonding time. 

it must be monday

  • I woke up with a horrible headache. Every surface of my head hurts; even the scalp. My neck hurts, too. It’s terrible. 
  • I also woke up to a sick kid.
  • I had to take my boyfriend to the airport for a work trip. I miss him already, but we got to have lunch together, so yay. 
  • I have a rare night alone tonight. Normally I’d have my kid, but I swapped nights this week to accommodate his dad. I’m not even sure what to do with myself. Hmm.
  • Oh who am I kidding…my night will consist of running, reading, wine, and laundry. Because that’s how I roll. 
  • Have I mentioned how much my head hurts? Because it really, really fucking hurts, like whoa. 

well i don’t feel better when i’m fucking around…

Official weigh in day and I’m down almost four pounds. I know some of that is water weight, but I am feeling good about it anyway.

I had this dream a week or so ago that my teeth fell out, and ever since I have been obsessed with dental hygiene. Like I’m flossing three or four times per day. I couldn’t find my dental floss Saturday afternoon and I kind of flipped out. I clearly have problems.

Yesterday morning my bf told me I have “mad hair styling skills” based upon the way my hair looks after a blow-dry & style versus when I first wake up. It was adorable and hilarious. It’s true…my hair is a hot fucking mess when I wake up.

I keep waiting for someone to come on the news and tell us all we have been punked. I mean…this Donald Trump shit is a joke, right?

Recently, I’ve had babies on the brain. I think it’s because my eggs are getting old. Plus, a bunch of people on my Facebook feed have recently given birth to adorable spawn. I want a baby that stays six months old forever, because they are cute, but can’t really get around on their own.

I had a blast from the past this morning. An old client from like 2007 found me online and wants me to represent her in a case against her mortgage company. It sounds eerily similar to what we did in 2007. The problem is that the client is legitimately crazy. The first time I ever spoke to her she told me that my voice was like an angel from god delivering her from hell and that I was the only thing keeping her from eating a bullet. That pretty much set the tone for our entire relationship. Once, she had the receptionist pass me a note while I was conducting an interview, because she wanted me to know that if I didn’t call her in one hour she would be jumping out the window.  So no…I’m going to have to pass. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Dave and I had an interesting discussion last night about the state of the legal system, and I’m worried I have become too jaded.

I will have my son every night this week except Thursday. I love having him around. Just hearing him doing whatever around the house makes me smile.

the truth can be adjusted

I somehow went an entire day without Diet Pepsi. Mostly because I gave my last one to the bf Sunday morning, and then was too lazy to venture out to get more. I remedied that this morning, because I can’t do Monday without my caffeine fix.

Yesterday, I read The Night Sister by Jennifer McMahon and I enjoyed it quite a bit. Right before bed, I started A Little Life, which I’ve heard only good things about. So far, so good. I’m also reading Little Women, but that’s slow going; not because it’s a difficult read, but because it’s sort of boring. (Sorry). I like fucked up stuff. 

I think my book count for the year is 35/50. Not too bad. 

I also watched Michael Clayton yesterday. I love that movie. The concept of the lawyer as a fixer/janitor is just so fucking accurate. I also love the tag line: The truth can be adjusted. Because I have found that this is also accurate. Plus, George Clooney. 

I’m off today, so happy Monday to me. 

This week is going to be super busy. We haven’t been going out much the last couple of weeks because the bf hasn’t been up to it (back issues). It looks like we will be making up for it this week. On the agenda so far: 4Hands, moonlight paddleboat picnic, Brasserie, and a VIP tour of Schlafly, just to name a few. I’m excited. 

I ordered my Halloween costume yesterday.  *squee* Princess Leia. Though the bf insisted I get the “sexy” version, because of course he did. Haha. (Hey, it’s better than the bikini thing he wanted me to wear). I’m most excited about the white knee high boots. 

My first order from Unique Vintage is supposed to be delivered today!!! I hope everything fits. 

Vacation countdown: 8 ½ days until Punta Cana. 

I guess I should stop fucking around and get my ass on the treadmill. 

**HAPPY MONDAY**

no alarms and no surprises please

Working from home was going pretty well until one of my bestie’s texted me and was like, “oh hey, i skipped out on work today. wanna hang?” To which I obviously replied, “fuck yes.”

So we walked 5k. Had tacos for lunch. Did some shopping at The White Rabbit, which is a super cute vintage home decor store. (I got two old books and a quilt that I’m absolutely in love with.)

Retail therapy, ftw. 

Confession time: I’ve never read Little Women. Isn’t that terrible? (And I call myself an English major). Now I own it (it was one of the books I bought this afternoon) and plan on reading it. I’m strangely excited.

Speaking of books, I’m about halfway done with Bird Box and it is such a mind fuck. I love it so much so far. 

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. I’m exhausted, and counting down the hours until bedtime. I want to cuddle up under my fabulous new quilt.

The problem is: body hurts so I think oh I’ll take tramadol so I can sleep. Unfortunately, tramadol makes me itchy like whoa. Like seriously…you’d think I was on meth if you watched me. So I was up all night scratching myself. I’m grateful I didn’t keep the bf up. There was much tossing and turning. 

Only 15 days until Punta Cana!!!! I have the cutest new swimsuit

Sinister 2 is out on Thursday and the bf and I have a date to see it in the Five Star Lounge. I’m super excited about that. I thought the first one was pretty bad ass, and I kind of really love that it actually scared Dave. Haha. Though I think I have managed to desensitize him over the last few years so I may not get so lucky this time around. 

I see a binge watch of The Practice (season 2) in my future (like as soon as the kiddo goes to bed tonight). I need more Eugene in my life. 

OMG my hair is pulled back into a ponytail right now!!!! 

The best part of Monday? I get to see Jackson tonight. I’ve been missing him so very much. I can’t wait for the big hug and kiss I have come to expect after these long weekends apart.