My favorite

By Audre Lorde

This has been my favorite poem since middle school, when we were assigned to find a poem to recite to the class. It still takes my breath away.

I just discovered recently that she also had metastatic breast cancer. She was diagnosed as metastatic six years after her original diagnosis, and died eight years after that. She is quoted as saying: “What I leave behind has a life of its own. I’ve said this about poetry; I’ve said it about children. Well, in a sense I’m saying it about the very artifact of who I have been.”

I love that. I’m going to leave behind one hell of an artifact. ❤️

my top ten albums of the 90s

I just adore lists like this. D and I were having a conversation regarding this topic sometime in the last couple of weeks (fuck my memory blows nowadays! did you know they say chemo brain can last up to five fucking years?! wtf.) so I decided to go ahead and list it out for future reference:

These are in no particular order btw.

  1. Ten (Pearl Jam)
  2. Core (STP)
  3. Under The Table and Dreaming (DMB)
  4. Tragic Kingdom (No Doubt)
  5. Sublime (Sublime)
  6. OK Computer (Radiohead)
  7. Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette)
  8. Pieces of Me (Jewel)
  9. Friction, Baby (Better Than Ezra)
  10. Live Though This (Hole)

I still listen to all of these, from beginning to end, quite often.


System of Gloom

From every one of these days black as old iron,
and opened up by the sun like big red oxen,
and barely kept alive by air and by dreams,
and suddenly and irremediably vanished,
nothing has taken the place of my troubled beginnings,
and the unequal measures pumping through my heart
are forged there day and night, all by themselves,
adding up to messy and miserable sums.

So that’s how, like a lookout gone blind and senseless,
incredulous and condemned to a painful watch,
facing the wall where each day’s time congeals,
my different faces gather and are bound in chains
like large, heavy, faded flowers
stubbornly temporary, dead already.

Pablo Neruda