Today was not the day, dude.

This old guy, who was sitting outside on a front patio having lunch at the restaurant I was just at, decided to sit at the table closest to the door, and then placed his chair in the way of the door – the only entrance/exit to this place. If that wasn’t bad enough, he then had to nerve to be visibly annoyed anytime anyone needed to use the door. I heard one lady apologize to him! Oh hell no. So then it’s my turn to leave, and he grunts in annoyance as he moves his chair, so I say, “I have an easy solution for you: try sitting in one of the fifteen fucking empty spots out here that don’t block the goddamned door!” He was stunned speechless, and it was fucking beautiful.

Eat a dick, fuck face.