in other, more interesting, news:

My husband doesn’t even know about this yet. He’s too busy out in Connecticut to chat much throughout the day. We typically facetime in the evenings when he’s on work travel. I forgot to mention this to him last night.

ANYWAY –

So a couple of months back, I went on a first date with a guy. We hit it off. We had sex in his car. It was fine. Nothing spectacular. I did it more for the experience than anything else. I had never done that before, and, to be frank, I’m running out of time!

My husband was less than enthused about this development, and so I told the dude that I couldn’t see him anymore. He was bummed, but was cool about it.

He’s getting married in like two weeks, and is deploying in like a month. He’ll be gone for a year. This is all info I knew about when we started talking a few months back, but I wasn’t looking for anything serious, so it wasn’t an issue for me. (I also went out on a date with his soon to be wife – so there is no shady-ness here. This is an ENM situation).

He texted me yesterday to check-in. He has done this periodically to see where D and I are in terms of me being able to go out with him again. I just find this so fucking bizarre. Like the pussy was good, bro, but it wasn’t that fucking good. Don’t you have enough on your plate right now?? Anyway – he was like I’m still in town for 5 weeks and maybe we can go out again. If not, we can keep chatting and see where things are in a year.

LOL WHAT???!!!

I mean, on the one hand, I am flattered as fuck. On the other, I’m like: dude, this just wasn’t meant to be, bro.

A year is a very long time when you have MBC. Fuck – a year is a long time period. Especially for a relationship that never even got off the ground to begin with.

the tgif post

Wow – court is going very poorly today. I was number one on the 10:30 am docket, and we just started my case at 11:50. We are having lots of tech issues with the phone conference software today, and I just don’t understand how we can have so many phone problems. It’s 2021 – shouldn’t we be better than this? I hate to say it: but I think I’m ready for in-person court again. This shit is ridiculous.

I continue to scour the internet to try to find a vaccine appointment for Dave. Our (shitty) governor is eliminating all tiers as of April 9 (i think) and so I want to get him vaccinated asap (though he is already eligible under the current tier so it doesn’t really matter I guess/i just wanted to mention that Parsons is a dickbag). Trying to find an appointment is a full-time job on its own. As of tomorrow, my waiting period will be over and I will be considered fully vaccinated. That’s very exciting.

Today was weigh-in day, and I fell about .4 short of my 1% for the week, but I’m not too worried. I weighed in at 138.6 this morning, but I was as low as 136.7 yesterday morning. Weight fluctuates so much that I try not to get too stuck on a particular number as long as I am showing a loss from the previous Friday. It doesn’t help that my date night with Matt is on Thursday nights, and there is usually much eating and drinking on those nights. We got deep into some (shitty) beers last night – like I think I drank three Coronas. We had such a good time though, and it was totally worth it. We have gotten to a very comfortable point with each other where the conversation flows super well – like we run out of time before we run out of shit to say. I love that.

I have been trying on all my clothes over the last few days, and have so much stuff that doesn’t fit. I’m embarrassed by how much of it still has the tags attached! Oops. The issue is that I buy stuff, but then I don’t return it when it doesn’t fit or I don’t like it. I suck at returning stuff, like I can’t remember the last time I returned something. It has seriously been years. Anyway – I am in need of a few replacement items, so I am thinking about hitting up the outlets tomorrow to do a little shopping, assuming it’s not raining, of course. I am so over all of this rain.

D’s college bestie arrived last night, and they are downstairs playing Axis & Allies Pacific in the dining room. I hear bursts of loud laughter occasionally, and it makes me happy to know that D is having fun. He has been super stressed recently, and he really needs this time to unwind. We came home from a very fun night out on Tuesday, where he got quite intoxicated, and then had a bit of a breakdown. I am determined to do what I can to alleviate as much stress for him as I can. Obviously, I cannot do much for his work stress, but I can eliminate household stress by stepping up my game around here – so that is the new plan. Already in effect!

Alrighty – it is a little after noon now. Court is finally over. I am starving. I need to get some food and get myself dressed and presentable. I have 2 pm and 3 pm consults, and then I’m off to pick up Corrine and head over to Third Wheel for the lawyer happy hour tonight. Our lawyer pal rage quit his job a few weeks ago, so several of us are getting together to buy him drinks and get the scoop. It will be good to see everyone. It has been too long. C and I are arriving a bit early so we can have some girl talk prior to everyone else arriving. I have so much to tell her!

Happy Friday. I hope you have a fabulous weekend.

xoxo

friday five

  1. I can tell I’m going to have a hard time adjusting to my new paralegal set-up. I’ve had the same assistant for the last ten years, and now she’s transitioning into a different position. I will still be working with her in my crim/traffic practice, but now have a staff of three new bankruptcy paralegals to rely upon, and I don’t wanna. lol. I want K. K is my person. I’m trying not to panic.
  2. I woke up feeling pretty shitty today, but otherwise in a good mood. The spring allergies are definitely trying to kill me. I also might be a touch hungover from the tequila and prosecco M and I shared last night. My face feels like it’s going to explode. No bueno. I need to stop somewhere in stl county and pick up some Claritin D. (You can’t get pseudoephedrine in my county w/o a prescription, because my county is fucking stupid).
  3. Speaking of last night, I had such a lovely time. Our relationship has def leveled up these past couple of months, and I am here for it. He really does feel like my actual boyfriend at this point. It’s nice.
  4. I stayed up late reading last night, and now I need another book. I have several unread books nearby, and a long to-read list on Goodreads, and still I search. It has to be exactly the right book for right now. That’s just how it goes for me. #booknerd
  5. This weekend has a lot of potential. Tonight is Friday night dinner date with my love, which is always the highlight of my week. How it’s possible to adore someone so much is beyond me, but it’s amazing. We are going to the outdoor beer festival at our neighborhood brewery tomorrow afternoon, which will be tits. N&N want to hang out, so maybe we will invite them along. The kids will be home, and I’d like to spend some quality time with them assuming they allow it. Fucking tween/teens, bro. Oh and I have a Zoom date with MVS on Sunday that I am very much looking forward to. Our first (virtual) date!

Happy weekending, y’all.
XOXO

“poly” points

  • the line between not enough attention and too much is a thin one for me. it’s an INFJ thing. i’m not an easy person to get close to. i have a wall.
  • i tend to obsess over my partners “liking” another female’s post (especially a sexy post) on social media. (lol – that’s not very poly of you jenn)
  • the jealousy is strong with this one.
  • i am not an easy person to be in a relationship with. i am extremely high maintenance. i’m working on it (always), and i like to think i’m worth it, but…caveat emptor. lol
  • i’m not sure what info i’m entitled to regarding who another partner is interested in/seeing/sleeping with.
  • i don’t even know how much i actually want to know about that either.
  • i like that the jealousy workbook talks about a relationship spectrum. i’m not like super poly, but i’m not monogamous either. i feel like some poly people are so strict about what it means to be poly, and it really turns me off tbh.
  • i don’t necessarily want the label. i don’t know that i actually consider myself poly at all. it’s an easy label to apply to most easily describe the situation, but it isn’t really an accurate label.
  • maybe hierarchical poly is a better label. it’s still not perfect though.
  • i am dating 3 people. all of their names start with M. lol
  • two of them read this blog.
  • and obviously my husband reads this blog as well.
  • because of all that, i have been a bit hesitant to share certain things here recently, but i am trying to ignore the urge to hold things in. i truly believe that i’m liked because of my openness, so why change that now?
  • one of my best friends has no idea that any of this is going on. i was going to tell her a few months ago, which i was dreading b/c i knew she wouldn’t take it well (from my swinger days), but didn’t because she was diagnosed with cancer. her treatment is now over, and we are seeing each other for the first time in months. i think it’s time to tell her the truth. I AM NERVOUS AF.
  • but like C (my other bestie) told me earlier: you’ve gotta do you, babe, and not worry about what other people think.
  • i am a walking contradiction, huh?

double date recap

We had a really good time last night. It was a fun experience to be on a date with D, but not *with* D. There were a couple of moments that felt somewhat surreal, but ultimately I have wrapped my head around where we are, and am good/happy with things. This doesn’t mean I don’t have moments of anxiety or jealousy, of course. I’m only human. I mean, his gf is fucking insanely gorgeous, and I feel like a troll comparatively. LOL. But she’s also incredibly sweet, and I adore her.

But yeah – we had fun, and I think this will probably be a recurring thing. Oh and I got about an hour of time just me and my two guys, which was pretty amazing. I’m a lucky gal.

I must say though: I’m super excited to have D all to myself this weekend. We have no plans. We have no kids. It’s going to be awesome.

xoxo