misery business

Yesterday was my first day at full dosage of Otezla. I felt bad throughout the day with some stomach problems and a headache, but nothing I couldn’t work through. Then after last night’s pill, I woke up with what felt like the worst stomach flu ever. Chills, nausea, vomiting…etc. I couldn’t even walk because I was so dizzy. I crawled to the bathroom and ended up lying on the floor until D came to check on me. 

I’m slightly better this morning, but still feel outrageously bad. I just took my next dose and cried a little because I’m scared of feeling like that again. 

This shit better work. I will make it through this phase with the hopes that this is my miracle drug. I’m going to be extremely disappointed if it’s not. Chances are I won’t know for sure for several months. 

I’m bummed because I left my laptop and kindle at the office last night when D and I left, because I figured I’d be right back in the morning. Now I’m stuck at home without my stuff. Booooooo. 

It’s hard to believe

but my Otezla starter pack will be delivered on Wednesday. I have fought so hard to get this medicine (literally for years now…since breast cancer remission) and it is finally on its way to me. Holy fuck. Of course, I had to pay an ugly $300 copay, but at least it’s not $2000, right? Haha. Now that this is finally happening, I’m starting to feel a bit nervous. Chances are I’m going to be quite ill for a few weeks as I adjust to the side effects. As long as I’m adjusted by the wedding…that’s all I care about. Please send good vibes that these meds will work for me. I was walking around all weekend feeling like a 90-year-old because of how bad my joints have gotten. If this doesn’t work, I don’t have any other options for at least a year.

fucking finally!!!!!

United Healthcare approved my psoriatic arthritis meds for coverage, and I’m so relieved/happy/excited/nervous…lots of emotions. I’m also slightly frustrated because these meds can only be administered through a special mail order pharmacy which has been a bit of a nightmare to deal with. But still…progress. I should be able to start within the next couple of weeks. I’m nervous because I’ve read that the first few weeks are really rough with the various side effects. I’m hopeful that this will provide me with some relief though.

*squeeeeeeeeeee*

This is a really big deal for us. I honestly don’t know who is happier: me or D. I had sort of resigned myself to the fact that I would be forced to live with this untreated condition for the rest of my life.  Now there is hope again. I really, really hope this works for me.

just putting this out there

Being upset with someone for having to cancel plans due to their chronic pain condition(s) is extremely shitty and selfish. Trust me, I’m a lot more upset about it than you are, bro. You know, since I’m actually the one in pain. Being disappointed is understandable, but being passive aggressive about it is just fucked up. Thanks for making me feel worse than I already do. 👍🏻

PsA update

I barely slept last night because I was so nervous about my medical appointment this morning, but it ended up going really well. I met with my rheumatologist for the first time in three years (I know! Yikes!) and she agreed to put me on a new med that is now available for my condition. So I’ll hopefully be starting that soon, assuming my labs and x-rays look okay. She also gave me a cortisone injection in my problem knee (ouch!) which should provide a few months of relief in the meantime. I’ve had good results with these previously.

The new drug sounds a little scary, but nothing is without the potential for side effects. I’m just grateful there is no cancer risk. Plus, one of the big side effects is weight loss. Um…count me in, please!

I’m icing my knee, per doctor’s orders, for what will hopefully be the last time for quite a while.

I’m so fucking relieved. I can’t even begin to describe it.