Monday (so far)

I had to go down to the office today to swap stuff out. That drive feels really long now, though traffic was still pretty good.


My employees are both back in the office now, which was their choice. I’m still working from home, and plan to do so as long as I can. I did put on my mask when I went into the office:

It’s weird af that masks are fashion now. They’re part of the outfit. This is the one my bestie’s mama made for me.

After I left the office, I made a quick stop at Walgreens in Chesterfield to grab some stuff I needed. Everyone was wearing a mask and social distancing. Good job. I may have bought a bunch of candy as well as four lip glosses. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Then I picked up the kids, and headed home, to discover that our table had finally been delivered. So this happened:

And this cuteness happened too:

Biz was very happy to see his best boy.

During lunch, I checked my email to find that the ex business partner had written me. His request is a reasonable one, and one I’ve put off entirely too long, so, in short: it’s time to dissolve the existing entity and start operating under a new name. It’s going to take some time to get it resolved, but I can’t put it off any longer. All of that shit went on the back burner when I found out my cancer was back.

{In the last 7 months I’ve had a business partnership implode, a terminal cancer diagnosis, and a pandemic hit while I’m seriously immune compromised. Also, my mother is dying. No wonder I’m so fucking stressed. 😆}

After lunch, I met with my primary care doc. She’s super weird, but super nice. I think I shall keep her.

Then I had to take Sansa to the vet.

She was not pleased. She’s getting spayed next Wednesday. Woot!!

I was pretty disturbed by the lack of masks and social distancing at the vet’s office. I expected more from them. Across the street from their clinic is a skate park, which was packed with teens without masks. Also, traffic was pretty bad. Guess it’s business as usual in St. Charles Co. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Fucking Trumper trash.


My cousin has been going through our grandmother’s things, and has texted me some photos she found. This is my favorite.


Happy hour starts in 20-ish min. I had a new tequila delivered today that we’re going to try. Yum. We’re making chili for dinner tonight. It’s the perfect weather for it: chilly and dreary. I can hardly believe it’s mid-May. After dinner I’m thinking a run followed by a bubble bath.

Later. 🤗

Today is my Friday!

And now that my workday is over, I’m in weekend mode.

But let’s rewind –

I feel like I’ve been neglecting the blog a bit recently. That’s due to a combination of utter boredom and feeling shitty. I woke up feeling fairly good today, so I decided to take advantage. Hence the fancy attire earlier:

This morning when I woke up, I decided to take a “before” pic. Before what – I’m not entirely sure. I mostly just want to see if my body changes at all during the couch to 10k training.

Trying to reduce that mom tum a bit.

I ran today after my last appointment of the day, and it felt good. I’m hovering right around 5k, but slow and steady is definitely what I need right now. The app only wants me running three days per week, so I walk the other days (when my body allows it).

I read somewhere that 30 min of cardio, 5 days per week, can be as effective as chemo, and while I doubt that is true, I’ve taken it to heart.

I need new running shoes. See those holes? 😆

I participated in a town hall zoom meeting for STL Co courts this afternoon regarding the crim and traffic divisions, and what the new procedures are going to be moving forward. I kind of can’t believe this is reality. Life feels so strange. I will say that the silver lining of the virus for the legal profession will be that it is forcing the courts to finally embrace technology. We will be doing Zoom court appearances, and eliminating so much bureaucracy in the process.

I’m off tomorrow because I have treatment in the morning, and I know I’ll feel shitty afterward. My plan is to come home and lounge on the couch while I watch Netflix all day. I’m looking forward to it. I deserve a couch day.

In other news: my hair stylist reached out to me to say she would open the salon for me on a day where nobody else will be there so that I can get my hair cut. I love her so much, and am so grateful. I need to cut this hair so it will be easier to manage (and look better) while I adjust to these meds. I sure do hope the shedding will slow down soon. I’m really depressed about it.

I was feeling like I shouldn’t risk it, but D says we can’t completely neglect our mental health, and I agree. Plus, we will be wearing masks and sanitizing everything. I will ask the oncologist what he thinks when I see him tomorrow. It my white counts are decent, then I suspect he will says it’s okay.

Waiting on D to get back from his run so we can do our Thursday night thing.

Happy Friday Eve!

Day 60 stuff

Ugh my allergies are bad today. I hate spring.

Also, my stomach hates me. Fuck you very much, Lexapro. And this is only the 5 mg dose. *cries*  I know I’ll adjust over the next few weeks, but jesus fuck… This better help.

The weather sucks. It is chilly and rainy and dreary and meh. It’s supposed to be much nicer this weekend, and thank satan, because I need to get out of this house for a bit – even if it is only to sit on the deck and drink some wine (in a fancy dress, of course).

I’m feeling the urge to do some online shopping. That’s going to happen.

My husband is starting to crack from this quarantine (and let’s be honest – all the cancer shit, too), and I feel terrible for him. It sucks when someone you love is struggling and there isn’t much you can do to help.

I talked to my rheumatologist this morning (phone appointment) for the first time since my cancer diagnosis. I was surprised by how upset she was by the news. She was really sweet, which was kind of weird, because she’s normally all business.

We’ve started watching The Twilight Zone around bedtime. Typically just one episode before we go to sleep. I’m into it, though I do sometimes struggle with how old fashioned it is. My how times have changed.

I want to start Dead To Me season 2 this weekend. A binge watch would be good.

I ordered Overtone in black a few weeks back, and it is supposed to be delivered today. I’m going to apply it tonight, and I’m hopeful that it will make a difference. My hair looks awful, but last time I dyed it myself I lost a bunch of hair, so I’m not willing to do that again. It won’t be dyed until it can be dyed professionally. I’ve heard that Overtone is super gentle, since it is just a conditioner, and that the color deposit is fairly good, so I’m hopeful. I need a win here, people; even if it is just a small win. I have no idea when I’m going to be willing to go get my hair done. Today my rheumatologist was like: all these drugs you are taking have seriously compromised your immune system. You need to be very careful.

Awesome. I mean I already knew that, but still.

I have a day full of appointments ahead of me. On the one hand, ugh, but on the other, yay, because money is good.

it’s tuesday, right?

  • Today is a roll out of bed at the last minute and attend the telephone hearing in my pajamas sort of day.
  • My neighbors are putting in a swimming pool and it is loud as fuck, which isn’t conducive to working at home. I’m annoyed with them. For a variety of reasons.
  • Due to all the cancer & plague bullshit that took over my life these last few months, I never got Sansa to the vet to be spayed, and now she is in heat. Woo lord is it an ordeal! She walks around writhing and yowling in an attempt to get some dick. I feel bad for her, and have been giving her extra love. However, she is currently in the basement because I can’t have her screaming for dick while I’m on a court call. Lol – can you imagine? The good news is that the vet’s office is back open, and she has appointment to be seen on Monday afternoon. Hopefully, she can get the surgery asap, because I am not about this life.
  • So apparently in 2020, the new thing is to get a free mask with purchase. lol. Can’t make this shit up!


  • So Apricity – this lady out in LA makes the cutest dresses. I bought one (obvi) and it was delivered yesterday. It’s more orange in color than it appeared in the pic online, but I’m going to rock it anyway and hope for the best. Gotta step outside your comfort zone sometimes, right? As an aside: my (bio) dad’s favorite color was orange. Orange always makes me think of him.
  • Saw this on Facebook today and got super excited. Guess it’s time to finally get that Disney+ subscription we’ve been talking about for months:


  • Last night, I did the first run for Couch to 5k. I really like the app. It’s the best one of these types of apps I’ve ever used. It kept me motivated, and I was able to do all the running. I’m going to do another run after the hearing today, then shower, and get my ass in gear for the afternoon appointments. It’s a somewhat light day today, for which I am grateful.
  • I really need to get some work shit done. My motivation is in the toilet, and that’s not good. I’m fairly busy – busier than most of my colleagues – so I need to get my shit together and crank out some cases.
  • The hearing is about to start. Talk to ya later.

some monday musings

Greetings from Quarantine Day 58 (I think). I’ve lost track.


Bonus cat pic just because.

This meme feels relevant today. It’s mid-May, but it’s barely 60 degrees outside. I’m wearing leggings under my dress, and we have the heat turned on in the house. It’s ridiculous. I’m ready for warmer weather.

Other memes that spoke to me today:

I downloaded a Couch to 10k app. I get a 7 free day trial, and then have to pay like $12 or something. I’ve decided I need a project, and this is going to be the project. I like this app because it had me do an assessment to determine where in the program I should start. I looked at what will be my starting run, and it seems right on point for my fitness level. I’m going to do the first run after my appointments are finished for the day.

I feel unwell. I’m still on that same “allergies combined with drug side effects” struggle bus. I’m crazy exhausted today, which I know is from my white & red blood cell counts being low. This is my recovery week (from Ibrance), but I basically feel like hot garbage right now. I have an appointment Friday with the oncologist, where I will get another round of Faslodex injections (uggggghhhhh) and then I start round 3 of Ibrance on Saturday night. I’m not looking forward to any of it.

Holy fuck I feel bad right now. *sad face*

I’m anxious to see what, if any, fallout occurs from everyone being out and about again in my county. I heard/read reports of restaurants and bars being absolutely packed this weekend – like with people shoulder to shoulder – with almost nobody wearing masks. I figure by the end of this month we should know whether that was an epic fail or not. I’m assuming it will be. I will be staying in for now and seeing how it goes.

I was at Target on Saturday afternoon, and it wasn’t too bad. Most people had on masks. Target was doing a good job of trying to make social distancing happen. I’m in no rush to do it again though. Going out nowadays feels gross and wrong…dangerous. I hate it. I hate all of this.

It was interesting to see what was out of stock. Freya wanted candles for her mom, but there were very few remaining, so I got the best ones I could. The craft aisle was empty. All the bicycles were gone. Still no toilet paper, but we did get some paper towels, which we needed. We’re good on toilet paper (Thanks, Amazon!).

Freya is with her mom all week, and we are sort of bummed about it, but it was only fair given that we had her for (almost) an entire week due to her mom being (potentially) exposed to Covid-19 (and we offered – it isn’t like she asked). Thankfully, K seems to be fine.

I’m already dreaming of the weekend. Too soon?



Friday Night Fun

Last night’s dinner was amazing. Can’t wait to dig into the leftovers.

After dinner, we logged into Zoom for wine club. The wines weren’t very good this time, but the company was great.

It always starts off a bit awkward, but gets fun once everyone is tipsy.

I feel like we’re starting to find our footing in the group.

Oh and my favorite part: the theme was Boats and Hos, so D wore his old Navy uniform, and god damn. 😍

D and I look forward to eventually meeting everyone in person. They are a fun group.