the way we get by

Our new bed is so delightful, it has made getting up in the morning even harder.

If you are a grown ass woman with a license plate that says “princess,” I’m judging the fuck out of you, and I’m not even a little bit sorry.

It may still be cold, but it’s technically spring, and I’ve decided to start dressing accordingly.

Pink shoes!!!

This is my third day wearing my new foundation: It Cosmetics Confidence in a Foundation, and I’m ready to give my review: it’s fucking amazing! I thought I’d end up hating it because it’s both full coverage and matte, which doesn’t usually mix well with my dry skin, but it’s fucking legit. That selfie above is not filtered, and I think my skin is looking pretty good.

Also…see bonus kitty on the bench?! She’s a cutie.

I kind of want to do this, but I probably shouldn’t do this…right?

I am ridiculously excited about the upcoming weekend. D and I have a lot of fun stuff planned.

Tonight is a bestie date. Shopping and dinner. Woot.

I want to buy a trench coat for spring. My old one is worn and not fitting as well as I’d like…it was always a bit too small. But I love that trench coat look for spring. I don’t want a khaki one. Something cuter than that obvi.

Okay gotta go to court. Peace out. ❤️

things

I woke up last night around 2:30 am in full-on anxiety mode. I went down this rabbit hole of reasons I suck at life, and it just went from there. I think I finally fell asleep again a little after 4 am. I was already exhausted from a bad night of sleep the night before, so I’m really dragging today.

At one point, in the middle of the anxiety attack, I went into the bathroom and just stared at myself in the mirror for a while. It was surprisingly helpful. I guess I needed to see for myself that I was okay. That everything is fine.

My husband is worried about me. He’s so loving and supportive. Always complimenting me, encouraging me, and bascially just loving me through my life. I’m lucky to have him. I feel bad that I make him sad by being this way. Hopefully the bad feelings will pass soon – I need a break from the every day grind (which I’ll get this weekend) and some sun certainly wouldn’t hurt.

In addition to anxiety, I woke up with a swollen knee. I’m hopeful the new meds will be delivered today, and that they will actually help me, though that’s likely to be a bit of a slow burn. These meds don’t fix things overnight.

In other news – just four hours before I’m on vacation. I’ll be out until Tuesday morning. I’m hoping this little break will reset my patience, because the struggle is fucking real right now.

I am leaving a bit earlier than usual today, because I have Jackson’s parent/teacher conference.

I have a bunch of shopping related errands that need to happen before we leave town. Also laundry. And tidying up. And packing. I guess I’m going to be busy tonight. We’re leaving later in the day tomorrow, so I’ll have all day to pack too. I’m a terrible packer. I want to bring all the things.

I took a bunch of pics last night that I had planned to blog – a little date night post – but I think I’ll just keep them for me. I’ll be doing plenty of photo blogging over the weekend, I’m sure.

 

sunday sundries

  • It has been a quiet, chill weekend.
  • And also a cold weekend. I’ve spent almost all of it under a blanket.
  • Another snowstorm graced us with its presence today. We had to head out on the slippery roads to get Freya from her friend’s house, so we decided to go out for lunch too. We only got stuck once and I maneuvered us out of it fairly quickly. Not too bad for a VW Beetle.
  • We paid a neighborhood kid to shovel the driveway and sidewalk. A good way to spend $20. Especially since I expect things will get quite icy overnight.
  • I have a short work week ahead: just three days. I have much work to squeeze in that time.
  • D and I are going out of town on Thursday. He is spending the week after in the Cleveland office, and since I’ve never been to Cleveland, we decided to do a weekend away. I’m excited to meet up with friends on Friday night, and to check out the local brewery scene. Southern Tier is within walking distance of the hotel. Our friends are going to spend Friday night at the same hotel, so I imagine we’ll stay out late getting good and drunk. I also hope to do some shopping. I’m sure we’ll check out the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame too, because duh.
  • I’ve been obsessing over decor for the mantle in the great room. It needs a make over. I have an idea in mind – just need to find the right pieces.
  • We’re making another new recipe tonight. I think there’s going to be a lot of that this month. I’m in a try all the new things sort of mood.
  • I think it’s related to cabin fever. I need spring. The winter weather has beaten me down. I have a head full of plans for spring. And summer, too.

Hello, March!

Fucking finally, yo.

We’re getting another arctic nut punch, but that’s okay, because it’s the month of more daylight hours and Spring. We’re sooooo close to being done with Winter. Seriously…fuck Winter.

Yesterday, I was almost in a car accident. The streets downtown were hella icy. A car spun out right in front of me, and then I did too. It was scary.

This is Mardi Gras weekend, but it’s gonna be a no from me, dog. Like always.

However, I’ve promised the husband and the bestie that I’d celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day, and that’s more than enough worthless, overhyped holiday, ridiculously crowded, day drinking celebration for me.

I’m supposed to be working from home today (before and after the bed delivery) but I think I want to chill instead. Reading and relaxing sound much better. Let’s get a jump start on the weekend, shall we?

friday morning five

  1. I have a very happy kitty sitting on my lap right now demanding all the cuddles. Whenever I stop petting her, she bites me. And the purrs are so loud I can hardly hear myself think. Lol. She’s come a long way in her tolerance for others, but I’m truly her one and only person. I love her to pieces, but I do hope our next cat is more social.
  2. I’m still lying about in bed at almost 9 am on a Friday morning, and it is glorious. I’m so pleased I thought to take this day off. I brought a bag full of stuff home to work on this weekend, but just getting a break from the office is nice.
  3. Around lunchtime, I shall go pick up the kiddos and treat them to a special lunch date. No school today or Monday. Nice!!
  4. Yesterday we were listening to the 90s alt-rock station (Lithium) on the way to school, and Madison (the dj) mentioned a disposable camera. Jackson asked, “What’s a disposable camera?” And I felt old. He doesn’t really understand cameras with film. I remember when he was two and didn’t understand that the TV wasn’t a giant touch screen. It’s still sort of weird to me how much different his childhood has been from my own.
  5. Weekend plans: the usual Friday night routine. I believe we’ve chosen a menu of salmon, baked potato, and asparagus. Exercise needs to happen; both cardio and strength training. Saturday night were going out for dinner and drinks with friends. As for Sunday, I’ve promised Freya a shopping trip. I also need to find a new book to read. Nothing is really standing out to me right now.

happy valentine’s eve!

Thank god for the “save to draft” feature.

Today has been a fucking shit show.

I’m home now though and soaking away my troubles in my giant bathtub. I had a lovely evening with my kiddos — even after a slightly uncomfortable conversation with the soon-to-be-teen about a topic she’s very defensive about but won’t stop bringing up. Sigh. Whatever…I’m going to keep it real with her like I always do. It’s my job. Parenting ain’t easy, y’all.

Just so I remember:

At one point she said, “I think you just have higher standards than most people,” to which I replied,”No, I just actually have standards.”

She couldn’t really argue with that and so I changed the subject. I figure she can chew on that for a bit and we can discuss it more later.

But all’s well that ends well and tomorrow is another day!

Oh and happy galentine’s day to all of my fabulous ladies! ❤️

in which i blah-blah-blah myself

Hypocrite! Ha!

I have twenty minutes until the next (and final!!) appointment comes in, but that isn’t enough time to start on a new case, so why not blog…

Right so, as I’ve already mentioned, I am on the struggle bus today. Not entirely sure why. This afternoon has been better than the morning though. My morning was rough. More shitty weather (rain/snow) and all the fuckery at court this morning. My day did turn around a bit when the judge (fucking finally) set my adversary for summary judgment motions. I was so ready to lose my shit if he set it out for more settlement negotiations. I was ready to say, “Your honor, there is zero possibility of this case settling,” but luckily dumb fuck opposing counsel babbled some nonsense about not being “guilty,” which doesn’t even make sense, and so then I swooped in like SUMMARY JUDGMENT PLEASE — and thankfully that was the end of all that.

Wow…quite the run on sentence up there, Jenn.

Whatever.

Btw – I have a wicked fucking headache today. Yowza.

I have court tomorrow morning and again on Thursday morning and I am so over it all. I need a vacation, like a real vacation — not just a long weekend. I want to go somewhere sunny. Somewhere with a beach. D and I have been discussing a little beach vacay for my 40th. We need to figure that out so I can get stuff booked. All the good stuff goes fast. I’d be down for going back to Key West as long as we can stay at our usual spot.

UGH I have so much to do and so little motivation. I know – just shut up and do your work, Jenn. Nobody cares.

One more client and then I get to pick up Bizzy, grab dinner, curl up with my book and a glass of wine. Ahh. Cannot wait.

monday meh-ness

  • I started this post at 10:39 am. We’ll see what time it is when I actually post it. So many interruptions, all the time.
  • I’m just going through the motions today. I don’t like Mondays. Oh you love Mondays? How delightful for you.
  • I’ve just gotta make it through Thursday and then I get a four day weekend. Nice.
  • And it’s Valentine’s Day week…WOOT.
  • It’s so fucking dreary outside. Ugh.
  • I’m sick of having to wear tights and leggings under my dresses.
  • I’m about to go meet with a potential client who has already spoken with two other attorneys regarding her financial situation. This is never a good sign.
  • It’s now 11:54 pm. I closed that client. Sweet.
  • I suppose I should eat and work on some stuff until the rest of the appointments come in. Meh.
  • I’m super excited to see the kids tonight!
  • Just gotta figure out what to do about dinner. Hmm.
  • It has been a multiple Diet Pepsi sort of morning. I’m on the struggle bus.
  • 12:01 pm. Peace out. I’m going to go eat some pizza rolls.

friday ftw!

  1. There was this female attorney in court this morning who reeked of pee, so of course she had to sit right next to me. Yuck. How can you not realize you reek? I understand people get noseblind to their own scent, but come the fuck on.  I now have the opposite problem: I can’t stop smelling it even though I am removed from the situation. I feel the need to shower. I can’t even with bad smells. I was cursed with a ridiculously sensitive nose so I smell EVERYTHING. I always dread going into people’s homes, especially if they have a lot of cats, because ughhhhhh. It gives me a headache and then the scent lingers on your clothes and just ugh gag-fest. Yes, I’m dramatic af. I know, I know. Hahaha.
  2. My joints are a mess, y’all. This cold weather can fuck off anytime. Gimme Spring, please.
  3. It’s an adults only weekend at RiekAlt manor and I am feeling it. We’re cooking a big, fancy dinner tonight! I ‘m sorry but I have to gush here for a bit: I just love our Friday night traditions so very much. Pre-dinner drinks and games, followed by cooking a big meal while listening to our favorite music, followed by eating (duh!), then smoking while we watch shows and/or a movie. We do some variation of this almost every Friday night. Obviously we don’t smoke when the kids are home, but otherwise it’s about the same. I dislike going out on Friday nights and usually try to avoid it. I’m a homebody anyway, but Friday nights after a long week are made for Netflix and chill, imo.
  4. Less than a week until Valentine’s Day, and I’m so pumped! I love V-Day so much. We cap the spending at $50, which requires some creativity, and I love it. I’m going out tomorrow to get my shop on. Then we’re going shopping again on Sunday, but for like clothes and stuff. I am anxious to get back to Nordstrom. I saw some super cute stuff when I walked through the Topshop yesterday on my way to the bistro.
  5. I was talking to KC yesterday about the photo challenges I’ve been doing. She mentioned that she enjoys seeing what I come up with. That struck me as kind of interesting, because, and I want to be clear here, I do not believe that I am good at taking pics or particularly creative in how I interpret the prompts. I do love taking pics (with my iPhone) of shit happening in my daily life, but I certaintly do not believe I am good at it. Many of the (mostly ladies) participating in these challenges are amazingly talented (like my pal Carrie), but I’m just in it for the fun of it. I do not think of myself as an amateur photographer or anything like that.

musings and truths on a tuesday

–  I’m spending more time than I’d like worrying about cancer. My friend has breast cancer, and so I’m now convinced I’m going to have a recurrence. My other friend is dying from pancreatic cancer, and so every stomach pain means I have it too. I have been having heart burn with increasing regularity, and so that means I have esophageal cancer. Thank goodness my ovaries and cervix are gone now, or I’d still be worried about those too.

–  I’m still censoring myself here a little more than I’d like, but maybe that’s a good thing. Idk. Readers are probably like…wait, you would share more here?? Lol. I know…but it’s good for helping with my raging anxiety. Getting it on the page helps — blogging, for me, is essentially a feelings purge. I do miss my handwritten journals – i kept them for years starting at the age of 7 – but my arthritis just won’t allow me to write as much as I like need.

–  I had been doing so well with my exercising and my chores, but things have gotten a bit off track recently. For example, laundry mountain is back. I’m back to walking in the evenings, though not every evening, but I suppose that was always too big of an ask long term. I’m doing what I can given the constraints of my body. Every day is a new opportunity to be a better version of myself. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

–  Official weigh in day is tomorrow, but I peeked today and I seem to be down another half pound. I am crazy close to being back in the 140s and I’m hoping this will give me the motivation I need to keep my calories and activity in line. I went grocery shopping last night and bought all kinds of stuff that should help me keep my calories low. Now I just have to keep a handle on the drinking. We are set to go out tonight, Thursday night, and Saturday night, so I am going to stick to low cal drinks and limit consumption.

–  You might say: “Jenn, give up drinking. It’s a waste of calories.” But you try being a lawyer/small business owner and not have a drink (or three) after a hard day at the office. Is it possible? Of course. Is it likely? NOPE.

–  I weighed 145 on my wedding day, so I want to at least be there again; lose this weight I gained from fucking menopause. Of course, I thought 145 was 10 pounds too many so idk…

–  Weight is one of those things I’ve been avoiding discussing on the blog, because I know it makes people feel uncomfortable, but fuck it…my blog, my rules. I’m not judging anyone else for their weight. Do you, baby!

– The plan tonight is to go bed shopping with the husband. I was all set to order a canopy style bed I fell in love with, but we measured our bedroom last night and our ceiling fan is just not in a good spot for that style bed. So it’s back to the drawing board. We had previously found a bed we really liked at Ashley and so we will go there to tonight to see what we can find. Regardless of what we end up with, I’m excited about this purchase. I’m ready to get out of my husband’s bachelor bed (though we have certainly had some very good times in that bed! hahaha!!)

–  It looks like the 10 am appointment who I thought might be G’s gf is going to be a no show. Whew. Lol. Though really it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. They’ve been together for several years, and I’ve spoken with her a handful of times. She has always been very nice and respectful towards me. Plus, she’s super good to my kid. So I have no complaints. I’d actually love it if he would settle down with her, but I’m sure he will instead continue to be afraid of commitment and fuck the whole thing up. Even my kid recognizes that this is a problem. How crazy is that?

bus stop bullets

  • My plans for the weekend include: long walks to take advantage of the nice weather, cooking/baking, reading, watching Two Towers with the family, meeting Carrie to see a movie on Sunday, and not going to any football related events. Ha!
  • Maybe we’ll go bowling with the kids instead.
  • I read ten books in January. Get it, girl! Goodreads says I’m six books ahead of schedule. It will slow down at some point. It always does.
  • I need to do some Valentine’s shopping this weekend before all the good stuff is gone. Plus I have some Etsy ordering to do.
  • February is my second favorite month of the year. Well…maybe third. My favorite is definitely October and then February and July are sort of tied I guess.
  • I’ve put extra effort into a couple of strained relationships here recently and it has paid off tremendously. Just goes to show that change has to start with yourself. A little self-reflection never hurts.
  • Sometimes you’ve gotta just suck it up, let it go, and be the bigger person.
  • I’m hoping our bathroom knobs were delivered today. They were delayed due to the weather. If so, then that’s this weekend’s home improvement project.
  • Also on the home improvement front: finalizing our bed selection and getting everything ordered. I want a canopy bed in a specific color and style. I think we have it narrowed down to 2 or 3.
  • I’m like way into my house and just general domestic shit right now. It’s a winter thing. When spring hits, I’ll be ready to get back into going out and socializing more.
  • Btw…I think the happy light really does work. I need to be better about using it.
  • The kiddo’s bus should be here soon. Happy weekend-ing!

Why not seven?

  1. My poor boy is sick. His dad texted me earlier that he has a fever and sore throat. So the new Monday plan is to work from home so I can take care of him.
  2. My joints are a mess. My knees and my hands are all swollen. My ring finger is too swollen to wear my wedding ring. This makes me sad.
  3. It’s going to be like -4 degrees Tuesday night and ughhhhhh. I saw a meme earlier that said it feels like January 74th, and…yeah basically.
  4. We spent the day chilling out. Hangover mode.
  5. My eating was a mess this weekend. Gotta get back to basics tomorrow. I saw some pics of myself and ugh for real. Do I really look like that?
  6. I’m having Sunday night anxiety big time, which is the only reason I’m actually blogging at all right now. I thought maybe it would help. It hasn’t really. I don’t even have any particular thing that’s bothering me. It’s just a general feeling of dread that suddenly hit me like a fucking wall.
  7. It will be good to have the kids back tomorrow. It was nice to get the weekend to cut loose, but I need my little chickens back at home. I have some stuff I’d like to do with them tomorrow night if Jackson is feeling up to hanging out.

I hope you had a fantastic weekend, and that the week ahead is gentle. 😘