mediocre musings

Long weekend was long: I haven’t been in the office since Thursday. I’m ready to go back. I guess.

My arthritis and fibro are flaring. And then there are the headaches. I see my rheumatologist next month, but I need to see someone about these damn headaches.

It’s. Too. Cold.

I miss my nightly walks with Biz, but the wind is brutal as fuck right now. Pass.

I drug my husband out for dinner and drinks tonight. He needed cheering up. It worked…for a bit. SAD sucks.

But…less than one week until the party!!

Our go-to family game is Telestrations. Tonight’s lol-worthy guess was “Bird Brian.” Frey won’t live that one down anytime soon.

You had to be there.

I’m starting book #8 for 2019 — not too shabby considering I’ve been feeling like I haven’t had a lot of time to read.

I have nothing super exciting to share. It’s cold and my body hurts and work is meh but home life is pretty chill. I’m keeping busy.


thursday thoughts

/// I feel quite awful today. I mentioned that earlier, but it is getting worse, and I’m worried I really do have a cold – or worse…the flu. Fuck I hope not. All I know is that I feel like I feel when I’m hungover and yet I haven’t had any booze since dinner on Tuesday night. So…

/// I’ve taken to keeping blog related notes in Google Keep because I can’t remember shit anymore. I always have all these ideas and then they slip away.

/// Cub Scouts ended up not being so bad. It was very hands on, and sort of fun: we used the various tools on the knife to carve soap, turn screws into a block of wood, open a can, etc. Oh and I seem to have made a mom friend. Jack’s friend Zach’s mom has been putting forth effort into hanging out with me at the various events, and she’s cool, so I guess I should maybe ask her to do something? Idk. I don’t know how this works. Haha.

/// On my way in today, I saw a woman driving a mini van that had a bumper sticker which read, “I used to be cool,” and I felt that shit in my bones.

/// The fog this morning was intense, and while it seems to have lifted, it is still a very blah-gray day. January is the fucking worst.

/// Both of my knees are swollen. Only slightly so, which is good, I guess, but it still sucks, and I have zero energy. Everything is super meh right now.

/// I’ve been listening to the album The Bends quite a bit since the beginning of the year. It just speaks to me right now. All of the songs are good, as is the flow.

/// On the way to school, Jackson was referencing Monty Python, and I know D would be proud.

/// I think I’m going to challenge myself to wear more of the clothes in my closet. I’m thinking about not allowing myself to wear certain outfits until I’ve cycled through others. Maybe something like: you can’t wear the same outfit twice for an entire month? I may start this in February or I may not do it at all. We shall see.

/// I think there is supposed to be another big snow storm this weekend. I’m kind of over snow right now, tbh, because it’s currently all dirty and gross. But I wouldn’t hate being snowed in with the family for the weekend. We have a lot of tv, movies, and games to keep us entertained. In fact, I believe we had originally planned to watch all three LOTR movies this weekend anyway. At the kids’ request. I never say no to LOTR.

/// I’m planning a tea party! I’m so excited about this. I have a Pinterest board dedicated to it. I was concerned that nobody would be interested in attending, so I put out feelers on Facebook, and now there are too many people who want to come! My husband made fun of me, but the plan is to be quite fancy and pretentious with our fancy dresses, hats, and gloves while we eat tiny cucumber sandwiches, maracons, and the like. SQUEE!!! I’m trying to decide on timing. Spring feels most appropriate. Maybe March?

let’s try this again

  • I feel like a complete newb/failure as a scout mom. There is just so much shit and it is overwhelming. It doesn’t help that the den mom is not super reliable and keeps giving out bad info. For example, I ran all over town acquiring items that I was told were necessary for the whittling badge meeting tonight. Then this morning I get an email asking for different things and saying the other things are not required. WTF, dude.
  • Then there is the pack shit and the council shit and it’s just too much. I hate it.
  • I’m pissed at my ex because he has once again decided that he cannot be bothered to be involved in our child’s life. Sometimes I am very tempted to just go for full custody.
  • My weight is fluctuating like crazy. I’m still down overall, but I am up from where I was this time last week. I’m not surprised, given how bad fun this weekend was.  But whatever…I’m going for a lifestyle change, and not a crash diet. So I’ll take the progress I’ve made overall and continue to move forward. I’m not going to allow myself to get overly obsessed about it.
  • It helps that, regardless of my weight, my husband is all over me, and is constantly telling me how hot I am. I love this man.
  • Yesterday, I was this meme:


I want…

a new band for my Apple Watch. One of these.

I’m thinking the middle one. They’re too expensive to buy all three, like $52 a piece. That shit is cray!

But I’m thinking that maybe I’ll start wearing it more often, like not just to exercise. My bestie was mock yelling at me for never wearing mine because, in her words, “how am I supposed to keep track of you and stalk you if you don’t wear it?!” We have our watches set up to update each other about shit (like steps/cal/activity).

Let’s be honest though, I’m not really a watch person. Or a bracelet person for that matter. But…maybe I can learn to be.


  • I’m having fun with all the snow puns. Haha.
  • It started yesterday afternoon and it hasn’t stopped.
  • We spent our afternoon yesterday by the fire, reading, and watching the snow fall while two cardinals flew around. It was beautiful.
  • I had a hard time sleeping due to what I call snow glow — the room was bright despite the blinds being down. Normally I use my phone as a flashlight to get to and from the bathroom in the middle of the night, but that was not necessary. I could see clearly.
  • Bizzy is so happy. This is the most snow he has ever encountered in his life, so he’s outside frolicking. If you want to see pure joy, watch a husky running around in the snow…though it’s less running and more hopping because of how deep it is. It’s adorable.

it’s friday, friends!

  • Woo lordy last night was fun. I’m feeling it today though. Mother’s Sunshine Chugsuckle is to blame.
  • I’m closing the office at noon today so we can all get home before #snowpocalypse2019 starts.
  • I love, love, love the way my stylist cut my bangs yesterday. I kept walking around last night talking about how cute I looked. Guess who’s back, bitches?
  • Speaking of — the bestie and I have the same stylist now, and we arranged it so that our appointments will always overlap. So I got to hang with my bestie while we got our hair done and it was delightful.
  • My husband told me that he loves 2019 Jenn’s new attitude, and you know what…me too!


  • Oh hey there, Friday. Good to see you.
  • I’ll be leaving shortly to collect the boy child and the fur child. I am so ready for a super chill weekend at home with the fam. This may have been a short week, but it has kind of been kicking my ass.
  • Business is already booming, and while that is absolutely fabulous, it is also exhausting.
  • But dollar dollar bills, y’all.
  • My b.p. has come out of his depression, and has been very cool and almost fun to be around recently. We’ve had some good chats, and things are going well. I am not foolish enough to believe that all of the problems are over, but for now, I will take what I can get.
  • Last night, while high, I came up with a brilliant plan (or so I thought – so I made a note in Keep to remind myself) for the b.p. and I. I told him about it today, and he agrees that it’s a good one. Okay so…our website pics are from 2011. I know! We don’t look anything like those people anymore. So we are getting new pics on 5/1. We’ve set the date so that we can get in better shape before that point. That gives us four months to get our shit together, and if we don’t, then that’s on us. I figured it would be good motivation. Especially since, given our track record, these new pics will be on the site for at least another 8 years. Haha.
  • I feel everything! My body is pissed, especially my core. It feels good though. It really does.
  • Except I’m not sleeping much at all, so I do feel a bit cray. I smoked hella weed last night to try to combat the insomnia, but NOPE.
  • 2019 is about more weed and less alcohol. So far I’m not missing it much, but, ya know, it is only day four and all. Haha.
  • We still plan on going to Wolpertinger in a few weeks and drinking all the beer – assuming my knee cooperates. I really have no idea what to expect once I’m weaned off this prednisone. As a result, I have not yet purchased the tickets.
  • I watched a couple of episodes of Tidying Up yesterday, and now I want to tackle my clothes. Basically the idea is that you take all of your clothes and put them in a giant pile. Then you pick up each one and determine whether it brings you joy. If it does, you keep it. If not, you discard. I plan to do this. Because our closet is fucking cray. And it’s 100% my fault. I feel bad for my husband, who is much more tidy and minimalist than I am. Sorry, my babe.
  • I’m going to have to be cut-throat, but I think I can do it.
  • We started the last season of House of Cards last night, and I just don’t know, dude. We watched two episodes. I’ll give it one more before I make a decision. I want to love it, because female president, but it just feels off, and life is too short to waste watching bad tv.
  • I just want it to be April already so I can watch GoT.


Might as well blog while I sit here and wait on the water to boil.

Stuff and things —

  • My poor husband is incredibly hungover. He’s going to be feeling it for a couple of days. Getting old is a bitch. We had fun though!
  • I, on the other hand, feel pretty good thanks to caffeine, thrive+, and these mf-ing steroids.
  • Operation Fit By 40 is back at the top of my to-do list. Yeah it’s a cliché to start working out on New Years Day, but ask me if I care.
  • Related to the above point: I did 2 1/2 miles today. I jogged a lot of it, and while I was hella slow, it felt really fucking good to be running again.
  • I also renewed my Beachbody on Demand account with the intention of starting PiYo (and whatever else floats my boat). I’ve read good things, and it’s low impact, which is exactly what I need. I wanted to start tonight, but it’s still processing or some such shit. So tomorrow.
  • I cleaned up a bit around the house, and started to pack up Christmas, but barely. I figure as long as it’s all put away by the end of the weekend then we’re good to go. I’m going to enjoy it while I can.
  • I’m ready to go back to work tomorrow. Let’s do this! Gotta get ready for the busy season.
  • Freya and I started Season 2 of 13 Reasons Why and idk…so far I’m not too impressed. The first season was fantastic so I’m going to watch a few more before giving up on it.
  • Okay. Time to eat. Peace & love & a very happy new year. ❤️

random sunday musings

  1. I’m glad we’re going out tonight. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m sick of relaxing. I’m sick of reading. I need to get out of my own head.
  2. I’m exhausted from the prednisone induced insomnia, but sleep just won’t come. I spent most of the night just lying in bed thinking. I was too lazy to get up and grab my Kindle from the living room. Tonight I may just get up and watch a movie if/when it happens. I have a list of stuff I’ve been meaning to watch.
  3. I’m working from home tomorrow, but all that really means is I’m preparing a bankruptcy case and answering some emails. Nothing big. I’m actually looking forward to life going back to normal on Wednesday.
  4. You know what I’m not looking forward to? Taking down all the holiday decorations. Especially the giant tree. This will be a several day process.
  5. I can walk without limping today. Not without pain, unfortunately, but I’ll take what I can get at this point. The plan is to walk the dog in a bit.
  6. I have a bunch of challenges pinned for 2019 and I don’t know where to begin. Lots of fun stuff to dig into.
  7. Today is my ex’s birthday. I emailed him a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble on behalf of Jackson around 4 am this morning, so I guess my insomnia wasn’t a total waste.

sunday status

  • I woke up with the same awful headache from yesterday (though slightly diminished) but the other symptoms seem to be gone. So the question becomes: do I take another pill knowing it’s going to make me feel absolutely wretched?
  • Last night drove home for me that a certain person can no longer be invited to our gatherings, at least the small, intimate ones. He’s disruptive, rude, and inconsiderate. I’m over it. D and I are the last of the group to keep including him, but we’ve finally reached our breaking point.
  • D planned a Holy Grail adventure. There was lots of nerding out. This is one of the few nerd subjects I am not well versed in. Fucking Monty Python 🤣
  • The only plans for today are going out to buy the rest of Jackson’s birthday gifts. We have his family party tomorrow night. I’m quite excited.
  • Oh and we had previously discussed buying Christmas decorations. We def need to do that. We’ll be putting up the tree on Friday once the kids get home.
  • And I need to refill and pick up my meds.
  • Oh and do like an hour of work. I have some cases to check.
  • And watch more of The Man in the High Castle. We just finished season one. I need to know what happens next. Next episode! Next episode!
  • It’s not even 9 yet, so I’m going to remain in bed next to my lightly snoring husband, and enjoy a lazy Sunday morning.

It’s Friday!

I’m rocking third day unwashed hair so that shit had to go up.

No filter, bitches. This is what my old ass actually looks like.

D and I are trying to lose five pounds. We’re going to go to the gym together and stuff. Baby steps. Manageable goals.

Btw I’m seeing a new stylist in a couple of weeks and I’m trying to figure out what to do with my bangs. Side swept? Grow out? Blunt cut? 🤔