– I’m spending more time than I’d like worrying about cancer. My friend has breast cancer, and so I’m now convinced I’m going to have a recurrence. My other friend is dying from pancreatic cancer, and so every stomach pain means I have it too. I have been having heart burn with increasing regularity, and so that means I have esophageal cancer. Thank goodness my ovaries and cervix are gone now, or I’d still be worried about those too.
– I’m still censoring myself here a little more than I’d like, but maybe that’s a good thing. Idk. Readers are probably like…wait, you would share more here?? Lol. I know…but it’s good for helping with my raging anxiety. Getting it on the page helps — blogging, for me, is essentially a feelings purge. I do miss my handwritten journals – i kept them for years starting at the age of 7 – but my arthritis just won’t allow me to write as much as I like need.
– I had been doing so well with my exercising and my chores, but things have gotten a bit off track recently. For example, laundry mountain is back. I’m back to walking in the evenings, though not every evening, but I suppose that was always too big of an ask long term. I’m doing what I can given the constraints of my body. Every day is a new opportunity to be a better version of myself. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
– Official weigh in day is tomorrow, but I peeked today and I seem to be down another half pound. I am crazy close to being back in the 140s and I’m hoping this will give me the motivation I need to keep my calories and activity in line. I went grocery shopping last night and bought all kinds of stuff that should help me keep my calories low. Now I just have to keep a handle on the drinking. We are set to go out tonight, Thursday night, and Saturday night, so I am going to stick to low cal drinks and limit consumption.
– You might say: “Jenn, give up drinking. It’s a waste of calories.” But you try being a lawyer/small business owner and not have a drink (or three) after a hard day at the office. Is it possible? Of course. Is it likely? NOPE.
– I weighed 145 on my wedding day, so I want to at least be there again; lose this weight I gained from fucking menopause. Of course, I thought 145 was 10 pounds too many so idk…
– Weight is one of those things I’ve been avoiding discussing on the blog, because I know it makes people feel uncomfortable, but fuck it…my blog, my rules. I’m not judging anyone else for their weight. Do you, baby!
– The plan tonight is to go bed shopping with the husband. I was all set to order a canopy style bed I fell in love with, but we measured our bedroom last night and our ceiling fan is just not in a good spot for that style bed. So it’s back to the drawing board. We had previously found a bed we really liked at Ashley and so we will go there to tonight to see what we can find. Regardless of what we end up with, I’m excited about this purchase. I’m ready to get out of my husband’s bachelor bed (though we have certainly had some very good times in that bed! hahaha!!)
– It looks like the 10 am appointment who I thought might be G’s gf is going to be a no show. Whew. Lol. Though really it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. They’ve been together for several years, and I’ve spoken with her a handful of times. She has always been very nice and respectful towards me. Plus, she’s super good to my kid. So I have no complaints. I’d actually love it if he would settle down with her, but I’m sure he will instead continue to be afraid of commitment and fuck the whole thing up. Even my kid recognizes that this is a problem. How crazy is that?
