we’ll see…

Tomorrow afternoon is my (rescheduled) follow up, and I can’t even bring myself to get excited about it. Obviously I want more than anything to get the all clear, but I can’t set myself up for further disappointment. So…meh.

Tonight was surprisingly enjoyable in light of its disappointing start.

And tonight’s conversation was a top ten conversation, imo.

Being married to him is the best. These last seven weeks have proven that our foundation is strong. We’re much more than just a physical connection, though the physical connection is intense af.

Five more days. We’ve got this.

the situation

A combination of:

blow jobs
hand jobs
dry humping

It’s like being a virgin again.

At least I can get the husband off. I’m not allowed to even orgasm on my own. So frustrating.

We have a few more weeks of this nonsense to go.

My next follow-up appointment with the doc is 5/31. Fingers crossed that I’m given the all clear that day.

super bad

So…no more Effexor for me.

I took the second dose after dinner. Over the course of the night my headache and nausea got pretty bad, but I was handling it. I went to bed, and my thoughts started racing and turned quite dark. My heart was beating super fast. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I wasn’t in control of my body, and started having suicidal thoughts. I was dry heaving and it felt like my left eye was going to explode. My poor husband woke up and found out what was going on. Naturally, he was freaking out. He sat with me through the worst of it, and I finally fell asleep sometime around three.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I guess it’s time to look into some natural remedies.