the vag laser!

Yep – you read that title correctly. haha

Yesterday afternoon, I had treatment 1 of 3 of Femilift laser therapy.

How does it work?

Femilift works using precision laser technology via a probe that goes into the vagina. The laser beam leads to microablation of the vaginal tissue to break down old collagen and stimulate your body to produce healthy, new collagen and elastin. The vaginal tissue also develops new blood vessels that allow for increased lubrication and better vaginal health overall.

What does it treat?

Femilift is a choice for women of all ages. Whether you are postmenopausal or postpartum, Femilift treats the symptoms of declining estrogen levels such as dryness, burning, irritation, itching, and urinary leakage.

My experience:

I had to insert 5 ml of lidocaine into my vagina an hour prior to the procedure to help numb the area. Once I arrived, I undressed, feet in the stirrups, and put on a pair of metal goggles to protect my eyes from the laser. My doc inserted the probe and made three passes at varying strengths, which took a total of about 15 minutes. It was definitely painful – especially around the vaginal opening, which is where most of the nerve endings are located. I can’t have sex (or insert anything vaginally) for two days, and I go back in four weeks for my next treatment. I’m definitely uncomfortable, but I feel really good about it, and think it is worth it. I hope I see results soon!

How Much?

It’s not covered by insurance, though it absolutely should be. Don’t get me started on that. The three sessions total around $2k, and then you will need one session per year @ $650 for maintenance. If you can afford it, I think this is a great option for menopausal women – particularly for my estrogen based cancer ladies.

Local ladies – check out my doc. She’s fucking fabulous.

I never really thought I’d be doing vaginal rejuvenation, but here we are. This is where being diagnosed with breast cancer at 33yo and being estrogen deprived for eight years will lead you. I’ve gotta get my bang on, ykwim? I feel so lucky that this treatment is an option for me.


D uses Tinder, and I was curious so I downloaded it too. (The swiping is fun!)

Wooooo lord – it’s a trip.

This one dude was like, “You seem to have really good tits,” and I was like,”Thanks I had cancer so they’re fake!” 😆

These dudes are so thirsty. They are trying to sext me, like what do you want me to do to you, and I’m like BRB I’m vacuuming. 😂

I told one dude he looked like Dennis Reynolds, and he didn’t know what I meant, which made me sad. Haha. (It was a compliment, btw. I would totally fuck Dennis. He wouldn’t even have to use the D.E.N.N.I.S. system on me. Everyone knows Dennis is the looks).

So yeah – it was a fun distraction, but I already have my head turned right now. ♥️

the feeling is mutual

I was sitting at home drinking when D got home from his date. I cancelled mine to be with my bestie, obvi, but I told him to go ahead with his date, because why should he sit at home alone. Anyway – it was good to see his face, to hear the details of his night, and, to be honest, to hear about how he talked about me way too much, because he’s a dude who is just madly in love with his wife. And goddamn does his wife love him back.

He told me he kissed her goodnight, which is no biggie, especially considering the original plans, but I actually liked that it made me just a tiny bit jealous. Just jealous enough that I grabbed him and kissed him quite passionately, to remind him of what he has here waiting for him at home. We then stripped and made out in the kitchen before running to our bedroom where we had the most intensely hot sex. We both agreed that the blow job I gave tonight was a fucking masterpiece.

Afterwards, while we were drinking, i gave him some shit for his joking response to something I posted on Facebook. Yesterday, I shared a post that said “describe me with one word” to which he replied “astronaut.” (I laughed, for the record – that’s just so us). I then asked him for his real one word answer, and he replied, “Everything.”



That song will now always remind me of the really hot sex we had tonight on the couch in the great room. It was that really amazing, uninhibited drunk/high sex, made even better by the fun conversations we had before and after.

I really needed that. Holy shit. What a great evening.

I’m also happy to report that my friend, who is going through a nasty divorce, finally had good sex for the first time ever, and I was the first/only person she told, because I encouraged her to get that dick. ♥️

Last night, J referred to D and I as polyamorous after hearing my description of how we conduct our non-monogamous relationship. Basically, we are only interested in other couples with whom we have a certain connection, and it is a very short list. We aren’t interested in going out and fucking just anyone. We don’t do hall passes. We don’t really consider ourselves to be swingers. For the record, there is nothing wrong with that lifestyle, it’s just not what we’re doing currently.

Anyway – it has given me something to think about. D and I discussed it during our lunch debrief this afternoon (which is our post couple date tradition now). We don’t really want to label ourselves, but it’s interesting to discuss/think about/study. I find sexuality within long term relationships to be extremely interesting. I love that we have a relationship where we can try new things and grow as a couple. (Gotta avoid the red waste ♥️)

about last night: truth or drink

We Skyped with two couples last night and played Truth or Drink. We had a good time with it. As everyone got drunker and drunker, it started turning into dares, and then eventually we were all having sex. It got a little weird at the end, because one friend was wasted and got mad at her husband about something, so she was yelling at him, but her words were all slurred. At that point, D and I ended things so that everyone could go sleep it off. It was (mostly) fun, though it would have been more fun in person. Something to look forward to.