bye bye hair

My hair started falling out today.  While I was flat ironing it this morning, a big handful came out. By lunch, my scalp was extremely sore, and when I found out my wig had arrived at the shop, I decided to shave my head.  So now I am bald, and my head is cold.  I didn’t cry, though.  In fact, it wasn’t really that bad.  My scalp feels way better now.  And because I promised to keep it real, I present you with my bald ass head:

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I’m kind of scary with my bald head and lack of make up. Oh well…here it is.  The thought of this right here is what made me bawl hysterically when the nurse brought me into a back room to tell me they thought I had cancer.  This.  Being bald.  Not dying, but loss of hair.  (In my defense, I was in shock) How stupid is that?  It’s really fucking stupid.  Now that it’s finally here, I realize that being bald isn’t that big of a deal.  Cancer may have stolen my hair, but I will keep my life. That is a good trade, I think.

Here is my wig.

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This iPhone pic doesn’t show the color accurately.  It’s actually a darker brown than it looks here. I need to have the bangs trimmed, but otherwise it’s not too bad.

I want to thank three people for making this a much more tolerable day for me.

Kristie: She is always there for me.  She stood beside me while the lady buzzed my hair, and then she paid for the cut, because she said nobody should have to pay to have their hair taken away by cancer. 

Ann: I texted her this morning about my hair, and she stopped by at lunch with flowers.

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Then she took me to dinner tonight.  She’s a peach.

Rick: Because he shaved his head and his (horrible) mustache just for me.

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Thanks, guys. You made a crappy day much more tolerable.

I’m quite pleased to be able to say that I found a wig.  I was sitting in my office yesterday afternoon, and it occurred to me that I needed to get up and go to the wig shop.  I had been putting it off, and it was really stressing me out.  So I went to The Wig Shoppe in Des Peres.  The ladies there were super helpful, and I found something really cute.  It’s a bob with blunt cut bangs.  It’s pretty flattering, I think.  They didn’t have it in my color, so I had to order it, but I put a rush on it because well…OMFG my hair is going to start falling out next week.  I should get the wig in a few days. Yay.

Speaking of hair, Eason asked if we could have a “Shave Jenn’s Head” party at the office.  He would bring in his clippers and buzz away.  Then he would do the boys, who are going bald with me.  (Eason is already bald by choice.) I’m thinking it might be a good idea.  The alternative is doing it by myself, at home, and probably crying about it.  The boys will make me laugh, and Kristie will be there.  I think I’m leaning that way. Plus, I’m pretty sure there will be pot brownies.  That’s a good enough reason right there.

Other cancery things that make me happy:

  • I have been assigned a breast cancer mentor, and she’s great.  I really like her based off of our email exchanges.  We are meeting for lunch next week.  Having someone around my age to discuss this stuff with has been great.
  • This wouldn’t normally be considered a cancer thing, but it is to me.  I have been complaining about how difficult it is to find cutesy lingerie when you have expanders, because you cannot wear a bra with an underwire.  Well VS just came out with a super cute line of bralettes.  I got the email yesterday and I’m super excited.  

I have a slight cold, so I am back to sitting at home.  It’s okay though, because it’s Friday, and I’m in a really good mood.  I have Jax this weekend, and I have fun stuff planned for us.  Also, Sunday is my first knitting class.  Plus, shopping!  I need bralettes and new jeans.  My jeans are so big now. I look ridiculous. 

Sorry this post is so cancer-iffic, but this is my life now.